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A Study For Women
Unpack the secret to power and influence in your marriage!
Welcome To Respectfully Yours!
The Secret to Power and Influence in Your Marriage - A Video Study for Women.
Session 1 - Who’s Right?
Emerson introduces male-female communication and how we are not wrong...just different! We were both created in the image of God – equal but not the same.
Session 2 - Are We Crazy?
Without love she reacts without respect; without respect he reacts without love. The Crazy Cycle-what it looks like, how you get on it, and how to get off it sooner.
Session 3 - Who Does God Think He Is?
Learn what it means to have a deeper revelation of God as heavenly Father. As you understand who God is, you can trust Him to take care of you.
Session 4 - What Am I Worth?
We can embrace our worth to God, which empowers us to unconditionally respect our husbands as women of dignity.
Session 5 - How Do I Respect THAT?
How to respect in the midst of unloving actions, dealing with negative thoughts and feelings and replacing them with Scripture. The result is true freedom in Christ.
Session 6 - What Does Respect Look Like?
Contempt will never, ever motivate your man, whereas a positive, respectful approach will. You will learn practical examples and change the atmosphere in your home.
Session 7 - What Does Respect Sound Like?
You will not be a doormat. You will be a welcome mat to the power of God in your life! Learn more about the principle and word respect by doing the Respect Test.
Session 8 - What's In It For Me?
Let’s stay the course with the bigger picture in mind. Be encouraged that no respectful word or deed goes unrewarded in God’s Kingdom!
Closing Thoughts
A letter from Emerson and Sarah plus an appendix with four questions Emerson often gets that he answers.
Welcome To Respectfully Yours!
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The Secret to Power and Influence in Your Marriage - A Video Study for Women. This session includes the trailer video, some opening comments, participant guidelines, instructions for leaders, and workbook downloads if you choose to download.
Who's Right?
Emerson introduces male-female communication and how we are not wrong...just different! We were both created in the image of God – equal but not the same. This was God’s intentional design. While men and women both need love and respect, during conflict men’s deepest need is for respect, while women’s deepest need is for love.
Are We Crazy?
The Crazy Cycle: Without love she reacts without respect; without respect he reacts without love. You will learn how to understand the Crazy Cycle...what it looks like, how you get on it, and how to get off sooner! You will be challenged to focus on a gentle, quiet spirit as a way to stop the crazy cycle of conflict.
Who Does God Think He Is?
God is a loving Father whose commands are given to help us, not to hurt us. As a good God, He is completely trustworthy and His commands are not burdensome. Learn what it means to have a deeper revelation of God as heavenly Father who wants what is best for you. As you understand who God is, you can trust Him to take care of you.
What Am I Worth?
When we place our faith in Jesus, we become a new creation and all of God’s Kingdom is available to us. That means we are royalty! In addition to having fellowship with God and gaining entrance into heaven, we also gain a new identity and have access to the power of God. We can embrace our worth to God, which empowers us to unconditionally respect our husbands as women of dignity.
How Do I Respect THAT?
Getting in tune with our thoughts enables us to take our thoughts captive in obedience to Christ, renewing our minds as we focus on the Truth in God’s Word. You will learn how to respect in the midst of unloving actions, dealing with negative thoughts that lead to negative feelings, and replacing them with Scripture. The result is true freedom in Christ!
What Does Respect Look Like?
Showing respect to your man is not complicated. It can be as simple as being friendly and watching your facial expressions and tone of voice. Contempt will never, ever motivate your man, whereas a positive, respectful approach will. You will learn practical examples of how to show respect to your husband and change the atmosphere in your home.
What Does Respect Sound Like?
You can have biblical power and influence as a strong, godly woman. You have the power within you, through Christ, to walk through even the most challenging, painful marital issues as a respectful woman. You will not be a doormat. You will be a welcome mat to the power of God in your life! Learn to use the word respect by doing the Respect Test and to accept and understand that God has wired men to be energized by this simple, yet profound principle of respect.
What's In It For Me?
A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His Word not only protects and empowers her but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings. Let’s stay the course with the bigger picture in mind. Be encouraged that no respectful word or deed goes unrewarded in God’s Kingdom!
We Hope You Have Learned and Enjoyed!
A letter from Emerson and Sarah plus an appendix with four questions Emerson often gets that he answers.
From Emerson and Sarah
Emerson says, “As a pastor, I wept with wives in my office. Together, we struggled with ways to motivate their husbands to be more loving.I kept coming up with ways that she could be more loving. But, she was loving! And, when she loved him in different ways, it wasn’t having the kind of impact we desired. One day it dawned on me to ask, ‘What does the Bible say about motivating a husband to be more loving?’ And I was a Bible teacher! What you hold in your hands is that discovery. This truth wipes away most of those tears.”
Sarah says, “For more than a decade Emerson and I have been doing marriage conferences around the country. We have been sharing a message to which men are responding. I want to subtitle the Love and Respect Conference: ‘The conference men want to attend!’ Wives are asking their husbands, ‘Is this the way you feel?’ Men are saying, ‘Absolutely.’ And women ask, ‘Why hasn’t anybody told us this?’ One wife said, ‘Your seminar supplied the missing piece that made the information we already had click into place in a practical way.’ We believe there is one key word that could revolutionize your marriage. This is God’s fundamental way to motivate husbands.”
What husband does not know that he is to love his wife? There are countless books on the subject, countless conferences and counseling programs. Generally speaking, husbands don’t lack this knowledge. But what many of them do lack, for some reason, is motivation. Who primarily seeks out marriage counseling? Who most often urges attendance at a marriage seminar? Who reads the books on marriage and leaves those books around to read? Who tries to get a spouse to change? You got it. She does. We felt that this was the fundamental problem in many of the marriage difficulties we encountered, and figuring out what to do about it has been the fundamental problem for marriage counselors all over.
So what does motivate a husband to love, and feel more love for his wife? Why isn’t there a simple answer – and if there is a simple answer, why aren’t people more aware of it? Well, we did discover a simple answer. The only problem is that the simple answer we discovered is a huge secret. And how could it be anything but huge? After all, this is the secret that cracks the communication code between husbands and wives! It doesn’t get much bigger than that!
The good news is that once you learn the secret – and it’s a secret that shouldn’t be a secret – you will be armed with something extraordinary. As you embark on this journey with us, putting into practice the principles we discuss, you will actually be able to effect positive changes in your marriage, probably to an extent about which you might only have dreamed before.
God’s Word reveals a realistic and positive view of marriage, and it works. If you are willing to act on this Word from God, over the marathon of your marriage you can give testimony to what happened in the heart of your good-willed husband toward you. When you crack his code, you unlock something very positive in his heart. May you be mightily blessed beyond all measure in your study and application of this biblical wisdom.
With Love and Respect,
Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs
What You Will Learn
Who's Right?
Emerson introduces male-female communication and how we are not wrong...just different! We were both created in the image of God – equal but not the same. This was God’s intentional design. While men and women both need love and respect, during conflict men’s deepest need is for respect, while women’s deepest need is for love.
Are We Crazy?
The Crazy Cycle: Without love she reacts without respect; without respect he reacts without love. You will learn how to understand the Crazy Cycle...what it looks like, how you get on it, and how to get off sooner! You will be challenged to focus on a gentle, quiet spirit as a way to stop the crazy cycle of conflict.
Who Does God Think He Is?
God is a loving Father whose commands are given to help us, not to hurt us. As a good God, He is completely trustworthy and His commands are not burdensome. Learn what it means to have a deeper revelation of God as heavenly Father who wants what is best for you. As you understand who God is, you can trust Him to take care of you.
What Am I Worth?
When we place our faith in Jesus, we become a new creation and all of God’s Kingdom is available to us. That means we are royalty! In addition to having fellowship with God and gaining entrance into heaven, we also gain a new identity and have access to the power of God. We can embrace our worth to God, which empowers us to unconditionally respect our husbands as women of dignity.
How Do I Respect THAT?
Getting in tune with our thoughts enables us to take our thoughts captive in obedience to Christ, renewing our minds as we focus on the Truth in God’s Word. You will learn how to respect in the midst of unloving actions, dealing with negative thoughts that lead to negative feelings, and replacing them with Scripture. The result is true freedom in Christ!
What Does Respect Look Like?
Showing respect to your man is not complicated. It can be as simple as being friendly and watching your facial expressions and tone of voice. Contempt will never, ever motivate your man, whereas a positive, respectful approach will. You will learn practical examples of how to show respect to your husband and change the atmosphere in your home.
What Does Respect Sound Like?
You can have biblical power and influence as a strong, godly woman. You have the power within you, through Christ, to walk through even the most challenging, painful marital issues as a respectful woman. You will not be a doormat. You will be a welcome mat to the power of God in your life! Learn to use the word respect by doing the Respect Test and to accept and understand that God has wired men to be energized by this simple, yet profound principle of respect.
What's In It For Me?
A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His Word not only protects and empowers her but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings. Let’s stay the course with the bigger picture in mind. Be encouraged that no respectful word or deed goes unrewarded in God’s Kingdom!
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Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs
Excited yet burdened about male and female relationships, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife Sarah launched the Love & Respect Conferences in 1999. Based on over three decades of counseling as well as scientific and biblical research, the Love and Respect conference, the Love & Respect book, and many other resources like Respectfully Yours, have given hope and new life to thousands of marriages.
What Women Are Saying
I have been elevated to a place in my home that I used to fight for... not a doormat, but a welcome mat to the power of God in my marriage!
This study is excellent. Five reasons why I would recommended it to other ladies.1. Scripturally sound. 2. Helps improve our relationship with God. 3. Looks at marriage from a different perspective. 4. Brings life, vision, encouragement and solutions. 5. If I had taken this course many years ago, I would not have been involved in a divorce.
Personally, God has laid on my heart to do what I can to attract every woman in our church to accept the invitation to attend Respectfully Yours. This includes ALL women. Every woman has a man or men in her life that she can positively influence and encourage so that God's intentions for them as men are sought and desired. Too often, we hear about the church being woman heavy in spearheading and the doing. That's our nature, I know. But, we must do what we can to change the trajectory we are on that has resulted from decades of emasculation. Mothers, wives, sisters, grandmothers, aunts, female employees and employers, must begin to better relate to the male spirit and vigor that they were originally intended to demonstrate.
So far, 80 women have "graduated" from Respectfully Yours. I currently am leading 17 more through the 8-week curriculum.
Why Hasn't Anyone told me this before?
...It was clear after a few classes that I had a crisis in faith not a crisis in my marriage. The message of God’s truth for life shared by Dr. Emerson through his experience and knowledge in the DVD’s and the workbook changed the way I relate to my husband in everything I think, say, and do. Ephesians 5:33 is at the forefront of my life and helped me understand the covenant of marriage and how God has designed it for His purpose and to bring us closer to Him. Marriage is not what I can get out of it, it is what can I do for the Lord through this covenant of marriage with my husband and serve the Lord. It is not easy as I rely on the Lord’s word in Ephesians and the support of other Godly women and the knowledge gained from Respectfully yours.
I learned that this teaching didn’t feed his ego, but actually humbled him and caused him to want to connect and talk.
This freed me to realize I was meeting a need that he had equal to my need for love.
Respectfully Yours was exceedingly helpful for me in my marriage! Understanding ‘the crazy cycle’ has made a huge difference for both me and my husband. I highly recommend the study for its practical use and application.
I am currently using this ... for my personal use. I am applying respect into my marriage and this kit has really helped me through the tough, lonely and hurtful parts in still staying the course... This Respectfully Yours Kit has helped fine tune more of what women need to know when it comes to staying the course with a disobedient husband...I am forever changed and am praising God for this change. I know I don’t understand it all or how but I DO believe in GOD and HE will help me finish this on the other side with more than I could ever think or imagine. (I am praising HIS name in this and letting anyone I know about Dr. Emerson’s work he has done for me.) I trust God and will focus on him and not my problems. I do respect my husband and I love him dearly. And with time hopefully soon he will open his heart back to me...
The Respectfully Yours study was amazing! I am so thankful for the teaching and YES it has helped me! I didn’t realize the importance of respect for men. It has helped me become more aware of when I am being disrespectful and how to read the response in the men in my life. I am divorced but am still so glad I took the class. It has helped me with other men in my life, like my boss.
I think Respectfully Yours is the BEST study a married woman can take! Being in marriage ministry, I have read and studied many books, but Respectfully Yours is the most powerful in truly transforming a marriage. I tell many about it and know that it can open a wife's heart to understand her husband and make life changes to deepen their relationship. Respect in marriage is so misunderstood in today's culture. Most ladies in the class did not know how disrespectful they were until studying the Respectfully Yours material. Learning to be respectful really does open the door for our husbands to love us more deeply. Isn't that like God's Word!!! Obedience bears great fruit!!!\
My marriage is in the process of being restored with every act of respect I perform. I am now able to lead the way in my relationship with a man I had lost all respect for. The Lord now shows me sweet and genuine reasons for respecting my husband. God is good, and he is faithful, and I will continue to share this message of truth.
You have empowered me to do better to follow God’s desire for my marriage. You have also given me a new hope and encouragement. It has been a blessed time for me, Thank you.
I am a newlywed and I feel now that I am well-equipped to love my husband better through respect.
My husband has wanted for 10+ years for me to golf with him, but I have resisted because I am not good and unwilling to commit to the time required to change that fact. Thank you for the shoulder to shoulder suggestion. I am going to take up golf with the clubs my husband bought for me 10 years ago. You are a blessing!
Thank you for teaching me about respect and what it truly means in my life. You’ve given me the courage to be respectful to those around me, even when they get on my nerves. You’ve given me the tools to have confidence and through Christ all things are possible. I can take that home and be respectful toward my mother and to lay the foundation so that someday my mom will also know Christ. I opened myself up in ways that have been laid on my heart for some time. I can begin again.
I came reluctant to give my husband the respect that I know I am biblically commanded to do. Praise God…I learned some valuable insights and tools to turn that around. And, I know that I am not alone!
I am newly married and this is what I needed to hear to help my groom and me make some early course corrections (especially me!). I had heard about the Love & Respect book but never really understood the heart of the author. Now I want to learn more because this is God’s precious truth to us.
I attended a "Respectfully Yours”…twice! I loved it! This study has helped me tremendously in my relationship with God and my marriage. I had been spinning my wheels on the Crazy Cycle for over 30 years. I failed miserably trying to do marriage my way in my own strength. I thought my husband was the problem and I planned to divorce him after the kids left home.
God had another plan! (Thank you Lord!). He provided this study to teach me His truth, His wisdom, His ways. He loves me and wants what is best for me! And I'm entrusting myself to Him. "Respectfully Yours" taught me how to honor God and do marriage His way. To focus on what I need to do, not what my husband needs to do. I learned more about who God is and who I am in Him, how God made husbands and wives different, how to be obedient to God's command to respect my husband…unconditionally, regardless of whether or not he responds with the love I need from him. That seemed impossible…but I decided to try it. With God's grace, help and guidance I realized I can do this and it feels good and right. This study has made such a difference in my life and marriage. I am more at peace and my husband is responding to me in a more loving and caring way. My prayer is for every woman young and old to put their hope and trust in the Lord and do this study and experience the power of God in her life and marriage. God bless every one of you at Love and Respect and every study group leader as you spread the message.
For the first time I am using "Respectfully Yours" to facilitate a woman's study in our area. We are just finishing Chapter 4 but I just had to write and tell you what a wonderful study this has been so far. The importance of chapters 3 and 4 is incredible. There is great importance in all the scriptures you give, having accountability partners, and application. The ladies are challenged and have been responding. I am excited to continue on and see what God is going to do in the hearts and marriages of these ladies! Thank You.
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Who is this class for?
We read in 1 Corinthians 7:26 about “the present distress.” The church at Corinth encountered some type of grave adversity. Are you or is someone about whom you have concern experiencing some kind of hardship? Emerson invites us to do two specific things as a couple or in a small group that prepares us to navigate the trouble in front of us.
How much knowledge and experience do I need to take this class
We read in 1 Corinthians 7:26 about “the present distress.” The church at Corinth encountered some type of grave adversity. Are you or is someone about whom you have concern experiencing some kind of hardship? Emerson invites us to do two specific things as a couple or in a small group that prepares us to navigate the trouble in front of us.
Is this class good for children?
We read in 1 Corinthians 7:26 about “the present distress.” The church at Corinth encountered some type of grave adversity. Are you or is someone about whom you have concern experiencing some kind of hardship? Emerson invites us to do two specific things as a couple or in a small group that prepares us to navigate the trouble in front of us.
How exactly does the month-long class work?
We read in 1 Corinthians 7:26 about “the present distress.” The church at Corinth encountered some type of grave adversity. Are you or is someone about whom you have concern experiencing some kind of hardship? Emerson invites us to do two specific things as a couple or in a small group that prepares us to navigate the trouble in front of us.
What is the time commitment and schedule for the class?
We read in 1 Corinthians 7:26 about “the present distress.” The church at Corinth encountered some type of grave adversity. Are you or is someone about whom you have concern experiencing some kind of hardship? Emerson invites us to do two specific things as a couple or in a small group that prepares us to navigate the trouble in front of us.
