Collections
Here you will find curated content on a variety of topics, with an intro overview on the topic by Emerson. All will have Articles on the topic and some will have Podcast episodes and Ask Emerson videos as well. When we write or record new content on the topic we will add it to the page.
"Love and Respect Doesn't Work!"
Love and respect may seem ineffective in challenging situations like adultery, but let's delve deeper. Consider three factors: impatience, misreading, and misapplication. Results take time, and misreading occurs when our spouse appears unresponsive. Misapplication happens when we show love and respect in ways they don't feel. We will address how to give it time, read situations accurately, and apply love and respect effectively. This Collection page challenges premature conclusions when the message doesn't seem to work. Give it a moment. Decipher. Adapt.
Communication (Mutual Understanding)
Is communication the key to a successful marriage? Imagine two people, one fluent in German and the other in Spanish. Without a mutual understanding of each's language, communication is impossible. They just talk louder. Mutual understanding must come first to communicate. On this Collection Page, we will discover the power of love and respect as the languages husbands and wives need to speak. Based on Ephesians 5:33, when a husband speaks love and a wife speaks respect, there is mutual understanding and, thus, communication.
Divorce
Does marriage hold a deeper meaning beyond a legal contract? Is lifelong commitment still relevant in a changing world? Few questions touch us at our core. On this Collection Page, we will explore the significance of marriage in the eyes of Christ. We will uncover the hidden consequences of divorce, what I call the remorse of divorce. We will discover the power of Love and Respect principles, and of those who said, "Had I known then what I know now about Love and Respect, I would not have divorced."
Forgiveness
Some people offend us. Embittered, we want them to pay. Is it foolish to seek a forgiving spirit? Is it possible to possess a forgiving spirit without suppressing the truth and letting the other person off the hook? On this Collection Page I will consider the insights and practical strategies from victims who suffered at the hands of evil people. We will hear of their healing, empowerment and impact because of their understanding of a forgiving spirit, and what God did in the people who wronged them.
Giving Thanks
This personal Collection page is inspired by my wife, Sarah's, battle with breast cancer in 2004. Despite the uncertain outcome, she gave thanks to God. Displaying "IN ALL THINGS GIVE THANKS" in our kitchen served as a daily reminder. Anchored in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, we questioned how to give thanks in the face of fear and helplessness. Sam Ericsson, founder of Advocates International, lived a life of thanksgiving, partying in victory and defeat. Explore this collection to uncover the power of gratitude and life-changing "coincidences".
Mother and Son: The Respect Effect
In my book "Mother & Son: The Respect Effect," I reveal the key to experiencing a deeper connection with your son, whether 4 or 40. The key is to speak his "respect talk" alongside your "love talk." This language not only motivates and influences him to respond to you, but it also fosters a meaningful connection. My wife Sarah said, "If I had known about Respect-Talk earlier, I would have been a better mother." Let this Collection Page be a guide to experiencing the respect effect alongside the book and our online course on the same topic.
Mutual Submission
Is there a secret to resolving conflicts? Could that secret be in two words? Mutual Submission. Is mutual submission powerful instead of weak? Does it advance healthy self-interests instead of suppressing them? Could it be the key to finding win-win solutions? Too often, we hear "mutual submission" as a call to compromise and sacrifice our needs. We fear manipulation and control from our spouse. But in this Collection page, I share the truth: mutual submission unlocks win-win solutions, fosters teamwork and friendship, and pleases God. Let's rewrite the narrative based on Ephesians 5:21, "Submit to one another" (NIV) and discover the power of mutual submission.
My Response is My Responsibility
Discover how this truth, "My Response is My Responsibility," is a game-changer. You can experience greater freedom, empowerment, peace, maturity, independence, respectability, and authenticity. On this Collection Page, I unpack these benefits. I can tell you upfront that this is not about shouldering all the blame or suppressing your feelings. It's about asserting your needs, creating healthy boundaries, and realizing no one can control you. The application of this phrase truly liberates. I welcome questions under Ask Emerson for this topic as well.
Pink and Blue
Over the years, I've used pink and blue as a reminder that husbands and wives, though equal, are not the same. We differ in gender, upbringing, spiritual gifting, temperament, interests, and responsibilities. But these differences ignite unnecessary conflict when we believe, "We are the same, and I know I am right and the normal one, and my spouse needs to be like me." In this collection, you can learn to treasure pink and blue differences while finding ways to blend into God's royal purple of win-win solutions.
Prayer
Ready to explore praying as a couple? If you're like Sarah and me, you've encountered obstacles on the prayer journey. We have faced and overcome challenges and still are. We understand the struggles among couples to pray together, ranging from the discomfort of praying aloud to finding the time and praying correctly. Yet, along with you, we're humbled by answered prayers. On our Collection Page, we respond to common concerns, offering practical solutions. We share our experiences, including one valuable lesson we learned during the first year of marriage.
Sexual Intimacy
God designed a husband and wife to need sexual intimacy as part of His wonderful plan. Theologians affirm that marital sex brings immense pleasure, not just procreation. However, some couples struggle to discuss their sexual intimacy, particularly when they differ in frequency and methods. This collection page addresses finding a balance, fostering transparent conversations about sexual preferences, and practical suggestions on how to satisfy mutually. Hear 1 Corinthians 7:2-4 in the Message translation. "Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband."
The Crazy Cycle
Conflict in marriage can escalate into hurtful cycles called The Crazy Cycle. On this Collection Page, explore its origins and effects. Surprisingly, 83% of men feel disrespected and 72% of women feel unloved during conflict, aligning with Ephesians 5:33. When a wife feels unloved, she may react disrespectfully, and when a husband feels disrespected, he may respond unlovingly. But there is hope. Through personal stories and practical strategies, learn to jump off the Crazy Cycle, improve communication, and experience the love and respect God intends.
The Energizing Cycle
Is there a set of best practices to energize your spouse? On this Collection Page, I'll share what you can do to motivate your spouse. In fact, your spouse wants to be energized, motivated, and come under this kind of influence. I will also show how love and respect triggers an equal power back to you. Your spouse reciprocates. You can experience a positive cycle I call the Energizing Cycle. Find out how this Cycle works!
The Rewarded Cycle
Let's delve into an eye-opening truth in Ephesians 6:7-8. We're called to do everything unto Christ, who rewards us accordingly. But how can we apply the phrase "as to the Lord" to our spouse? I share how in what I call The Rewarded Cycle. This truth has revolutionized countless marriages. Through surveys and testimonials, we've witnessed its profound impact on the individual in the marriage. In this collection, you can uncover the principle of doing marriage God's way even if your spouse does not join you.
The Workplace
What happens when love and respect are missing from the workplace? Conflicts arise, leading to breakdowns between management and employees. When employees feel management doesn't care, they react in ways that appear disrespectful and when management feels disrespected, they react in ways that appear uncaring. The "crazy cycle" leads to a loss of trust, breakdowns in communication, and decreased productivity. Discover how to reduce craziness, improve relationships, and foster teamwork. Also, learn how to decode the pink and blue perspectives to enhance communication and performance.
Unconditional Love and Respect In Marriage
Unconditional love is embraced, yet we need to embrace unconditional respect. Scripture and science teach both, but many believe respect must be earned. However, as conditional love is toxic when a spouse says, "I will love you if..." conditional respect also damages when it says, "I can show you disrespect and contempt because you don't deserve it." Many fear unconditional respect, thinking it enables bad behavior. But I invite you to explore revolutionary insights on this Collection Page and be amazed, exclaiming, "Why didn't I know this before?"
Women Need Respect and Men Need Love
In Ephesians 5:33, God commands husbands to love and wives to respect. The Bible also instructs husbands to respect their wives (1 Peter 3:7) and wives to love their husbands (Titus 2:4). In my book Love and Respect, I dedicate two chapters to this wise instruction. On this Collection Page, we will address her need for respect and his need for love, which can be overlooked. Even when acknowledged, they may miss the mark by giving what they desire rather than what is needed.