Acknowledgments

Sarah and I are so grateful for those who have made Respectfully Yours happen. You would not be reading or watching without them. It has been a deep desire of ours for a long time to see this study come to fruition, and we are rejoicing that the finished product is finally here.

Joanne Tims and Lisa Shea blew us away by their hours upon hours of organizing the material, taking our thoughts and theirs, to develop this women’s study on the issue of respect. Both bring great passion and wisdom to this project. Joanne is a trained counselor with great insights into the needs of those in marriage. She assists me in all my “teaching” correspondence. Lisa Shea, as you will see in the video, has taken 300 women (297 still married) through our Ephesians 5:33 materials. She assists Joanne on our staff as they minister through writing. Without question, this project would not be completed without them. Lisa’s own marriage was profoundly impacted in the early days of our ministry and you will hear some of her story in this series.

Our thanks to Joy, our daughter, for her vision to reach her generation with this message. She shares her journey in this video series in a conversational style with Sarah and she will be a “joy” to hear! She gives penetrating counsel to the 18-35 age group through her website, LoveandRespectNOW.com. I (Emerson) use an outdated term to describe her blogs and videos…“She’s a hoot.”

Thanks to Dan Tims, Joanne’s husband, for formatting all that you read! He loves to serve and had you in mind as he laid this all out. He directs our live conferences along with Joanne, and we are grateful for their loyalty as friends for over 40 years.

To David Eggerichs, our son, with many thanks to him and his company, Motivity Pictures. He videoed, edited, did the graphics, and added his unbelievable creativity to the whole presentation. He has an eye!

Thanks to Carmen DeGroote, a wonderful staff person in the office, who first tested this information on a group of women at Ada Bible Church in Grand Rapids. Our thanks for their helpful input and affirmation of how this truth in God’s Word inspired and informed them. We were moved by how they were moved!

Thanks also to Caren Wolfe and Stacy Kennedy, two other “off the chart” staff people, for marketing via social media and wherever else people live, move, and have their being! We love their hearts for marriages and how they serve this ministry with passion and such enthusiasm.

And many thanks to Joann Blunt, our COO, who served me all the years I pastored and then joined us to manage the Love and Respect home office in Grand Rapids, MI. She is a servant to all the staff in ways above and beyond. Joann, along with Jessica Steketee and Carmen, are the sweet and kind voices the many wonderful women interested in launching this study will encounter, as they call or email our office. They honor Christ daily through their humble service to others. Wow, what examples!

We are indebted to each woman who will lead this study and for each who will participate. Our prayer is that many will then lead others to join a movement of women who seek to have power and influence by obeying the truth of God’s word!

For the many others who have prayed, we are most grateful. This is God’s Word, and we trust it will spread rapidly and be glorified because of those prayers. We will be forever thankful to the Lord for allowing us the opportunity to share this message. We are truly humbled.

About Emerson and Sarah

As the senior pastor in a university town, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs had the privilege of studying the Bible thirty hours a week for nearly twenty years. And during that time in study he had the further privilege of making an absolutely extraordinary discovery about the secret of communication between husbands and wives.

Emerson and Sarah have been married since 1973, and the principles they apply have worked powerfully in their own marriage. They long for you to experience what they’ve experienced. As the message slowly took shape they both became very excited at what they had to share – and with good reason. Both had endured troubling times from their families of origin, problems they had seen tear their families apart. Emerson’s mother and father divorced when he was a year old, and then remarried each other. They separated again when he was five, and then once again came back together. The effect of this on him was profound. Sarah’s family also has a widespread history of divorce. Given both their backgrounds, the idea that they might help others to overcome the difficulties of marriage has special significance to them.

Emerson and Sarah believe this message can make a gigantic difference in your marriage and family. And they are happy to invite you to join them as they discuss the secret to energizing your marriage.

From Emerson and Sarah

Emerson says, “As a pastor, I wept with wives in my office. Together, we struggled with ways to motivate their husbands to be more loving. I kept coming up with ways that she could be more loving. But, she was loving! And, when she loved him in different ways, it wasn’t having the kind of impact we desired. One day it dawned on me to ask, ‘What does the Bible say about motivating a husband to be more loving?’ And I was a Bible teacher! What you hold in your hands is that discovery. This truth wipes away most of those tears.”

Sarah says, “For more than a decade Emerson and I have been doing marriage conferences around the country. We have been sharing a message to which men are responding. I want to subtitle the Love and Respect Conference: ‘The conference men want to attend!’ Wives are asking their husbands, ‘Is this the way you feel?’ Men are saying, ‘Absolutely.’ And women ask, ‘Why hasn’t anybody told us this?’ One wife said, ‘Your seminar supplied the missing piece that made the information we already had click into place in a practical way.’ We believe there is one key word that could revolutionize your marriage. This is God’s fundamental way to motivate husbands.”

What husband does not know that he is to love his wife? There are countless books on the subject, countless conferences and counseling programs. Generally speaking, husbands don’t lack this knowledge. But what many of them do lack, for some reason, is motivation. Who primarily seeks out marriage counseling? Who most often urges attendance at a marriage seminar? Who reads the books on marriage and leaves those books around to read? Who tries to get a spouse to change? You got it. She does. We felt that this was the fundamental problem in many of the marriage difficulties we encountered, and figuring out what to do about it has been the fundamental problem for marriage counselors all over.

So what does motivate a husband to love, and feel more love for his wife? Why isn’t there a simple answer – and if there is a simple answer, why aren’t people more aware of it? Well, we did discover a simple answer. The only problem is that the simple answer we discovered is a huge secret. And how could it be anything but huge? After all, this is the secret that cracks the communication code between husbands and wives! It doesn’t get much bigger than that!

The good news is that once you learn the secret – and it’s a secret that shouldn’t be a secret – you will be armed with something extraordinary. As you embark on this journey with us, putting into practice the principles we discuss, you will actually be able to effect positive changes in your marriage, probably to an extent about which you might only have dreamed before.

God’s Word reveals a realistic and positive view of marriage, and it works. If you are willing to act on this Word from God, over the marathon of your marriage you can give testimony to what happened in the heart of your good-willed husband toward you. When you crack his code, you unlock something very positive in his heart. May you be mightily blessed beyond all measure in your study and application of this biblical wisdom.

With love and respect,

Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

About this Study

Welcome to Respectfully Yours, our video study for women! All over the country, as women become acquainted with the love and respect message they ask, “Can you help me better understand what respect looks like? How do I actually do this?” This study is an answer to those questions and much more.

We have received thousands of testimonies from wives who are astounded at the secret that has been hidden in plain sight for 2,000 years. Ephesians 5:33 is a powerful word to women. We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless. This is not a magic formula or a quick fix, but it is powerful and we have seen families changed for generations by applying this simple secret.

Join us as we unpack the secret to power and influence in your marriage.

• Men and women are not wrong, just different

• God is good and wants what is best for us

• Learn practical yet powerful ways to apply respect

• Recognize the lies that keep us from honoring God

• Become a welcome mat (not a doormat) to the power of God

Overview

This is a video driven group study that also includes reading content and practical application assignments to do at home. Each of the eight sessions will begin with Group Time, during which you will view the video together, followed by discussion. The following week at home (your Personal Time), you will read content that goes deeper into what you learned from the video, and answer thought-provoking questions to help you apply what you’ve learned. When you return the next week to your Group, you will discuss your discoveries and applications together before viewing the next video. We highly encourage you to have a participant workbook. While we certainly encourage you to become a member of our site which includes a PDF download of the workbook and then access to that same written content inside this online version, we know it is not feasible or desirable for everyone to become a member. You can purchase the workbook in our online store. The leader may print out certain portions from the online version or workbook download as needed.

So…this is how it works…

Group Time

Let’s Review

Except for the first session, this will be a discussion of your application assignments from the previous week. It will also be a time to share your praise reports and celebrate what God is doing!

The Video

Together with your group you will view the video session for that week. The videos range from 10-28 minutes, with most averaging 18 minutes.

Let’s Talk

Your facilitator will lead the group in discussion, using the questions provided in your study guide. She will then wrap up the group time with some key statements, reading the testimonies, and prayer time.

Personal Time

Each week at home, take time to read and meditate on the written content which reinforces the video you just viewed in group time.

Let’s Do This!

This is where the rubber meets the road! We cannot stress enough how important it is to take the time to answer and apply these practical applications each week. Start these assignments early in the week so you have time to practice the applications. This will make the difference in how much change you will experience both in yourself and in your marriage.

Let’s Reflect

This is your time to get personal with God. Search your heart and be honest with what you find. Allow the Holy Spirit to bring about change in you and your marriage.

Thank you for joining us! We know you will be empowered as you move forward in faith. Trust us, God will honor you – and you will influence your marriage!

Group Guidelines

1. Whatever is discussed in the group stays in the group! Openness is welcomed; confidentiality and discretion is mandatory.
2. No male-bashing is allowed as it does not honor our Lord.
3. We will be sensitive to others’ marriages, whatever state they are in. We will pray for all marriages.
4. We will respect one another. Each person has the right to her own opinion. Listen attentively to others without interrupting and be slow to judge. However, we will hold to the Word of God in all things.
5. We will focus on what we need to do, not what our husbands need to do.
6. We will commit to doing the application assignments and encourage accountability to obey God’s command to respect our husbands.
7. This is a study group, not a counseling or therapy group. We will stay focused on the goal of applying what God’s Word says about marriage.
8. Regular attendance and punctuality are strongly encouraged so everyone can get the most from the group time.