Love and Respect Husband + Logo Mug

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

We are equal but we are not the same.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

Your words reveal your heart.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.