Love and Respect Husband + Logo Mug

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.