Love and Respect Husband + Logo Mug

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

Your words reveal your heart.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.