Love and Respect Husband + Logo Mug

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

Your words reveal your heart.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.