Love and Respect Husband + Logo Mug

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

We are equal but we are not the same.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

No matter what your struggle- criticism, constant conflict, sex, money, parenting, harsh words- learning to communicate the Love and Respect way can help you make crucial changes and build the kind of relationship that God blesses.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.