No items found.
Left Arrow
No items found.
Right Arrow

Where To Buy

No items found.
Play Button

Close
Close Button






14 Week Small Group Guide

Digital Download (old)

This is a digital download of the Discussion Guide to accompany the old conference DVDs. Since we no longer will be producing the standard definition DVDs or physical copies of this workbook we are providing this download for those who would like to continue using the old DVDs.

Add as many copies as you are going to print (this is a large PDF – over 80 pages), or that you will distribute digitally (email) to those in your group, to your CART. Please only distribute to those in your group and do not place this workbook on church websites or anywhere else online. Or, direct each member of the group to this link so they can purchase and download the workbook themselves.

This exciting user-friendly and insightful guide includes everything you need to keep Small Group members motivated and challenged to apply the principles of Love and Respect to their relationship. It is designed to accompany the old Love & Respect DVD Set and coordinates with the menu on the DVDs.

Get to know...

Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.

About Love & Respect
Portrait of Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Product Quotes

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

Love & Respect in the Family

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

Before You Hit Send

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

Building Blocks

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Love & Respect

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

Love & Respect Podcast

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Respectfully Yours

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

The Love and Respect Experience

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

Love & Respect Podcast

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

Love & Respect

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Love & Respect Podcast

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

Love & Respect in the Family

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Love & Respect

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

The Love and Respect Experience

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

The Love and Respect Experience

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

Love & Respect Podcast

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

The Love and Respect Experience

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Before You Hit Send

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Building Blocks

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

The Love and Respect Experience

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

Love & Respect

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

The Language of Love & Respect Book

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

Love & Respect

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

Love & Respect Podcast

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

The Love and Respect Experience

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

Respectfully Yours

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Building Blocks

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Love & Respect

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

Respectfully Yours

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

Respectfully Yours

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

Respectfully Yours

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

The Love and Respect Experience

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

Love & Respect

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

Before You Hit Send

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

Love & Respect

No matter what your struggle- criticism, constant conflict, sex, money, parenting, harsh words- learning to communicate the Love and Respect way can help you make crucial changes and build the kind of relationship that God blesses.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Love & Respect

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

The Language of Love & Respect

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

Respectfully Yours

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Building Blocks

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

Building Blocks

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

Love & Respect

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

The Language of Love & Respect

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

Love & Respect

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

Respectfully Yours

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

The Love and Respect Experience

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

Love & Respect in the Family

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

Building Blocks

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

The Language of Love & Respect Book

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Before You Hit Send

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

Respectfully Yours

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Before You Hit Send

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

The Love and Respect Experience

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Love & Respect

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Love & Respect

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

Before You Hit Send

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

Love & Respect

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Building Blocks

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

Love & Respect

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

Respectfully Yours

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

Love & Respect

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Love & Respect

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

Love & Respect

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

Love & Respect Boook

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

Love & Respect

We are equal but we are not the same.

Building Blocks

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

The Love and Respect Experience

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

Respectfully Yours

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

Love & Respect in the Family

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime
Left ArrowRight Arrow