Husband & Wife Mug Set and Coaster

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

No matter what your struggle- criticism, constant conflict, sex, money, parenting, harsh words- learning to communicate the Love and Respect way can help you make crucial changes and build the kind of relationship that God blesses.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

We are equal but we are not the same.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.