Love and Respect Wife + Logo Mug

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

We are equal but we are not the same.

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.