Love and Respect Wife + Logo Mug

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

We are equal but we are not the same.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.