Love and Respect Wife + Logo Mug

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.