Love and Respect Wife + Logo Mug

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

No matter what your struggle- criticism, constant conflict, sex, money, parenting, harsh words- learning to communicate the Love and Respect way can help you make crucial changes and build the kind of relationship that God blesses.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.