Love and Respect Wife + Logo Mug

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

We are equal but we are not the same.

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.