Love and Respect Husband and Wife + Logo Mug Set

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

Your words reveal your heart.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.