Love and Respect Husband and Wife + Logo Mug Set

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

We are equal but we are not the same.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

Your words reveal your heart.

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.