Love and Respect Husband and Wife + Logo Mug Set

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.