Love and Respect Husband and Wife + Logo Mug Set

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

Your words reveal your heart.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"