Love and Respect Husband and Wife + Logo Mug Set

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

No matter what your struggle- criticism, constant conflict, sex, money, parenting, harsh words- learning to communicate the Love and Respect way can help you make crucial changes and build the kind of relationship that God blesses.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.