Building Blocks Study Guide (10 Pack)

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.