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Building Blocks Study Guide (10 Pack)
10 Pack of the companion workbook. The 6 week Building Blocks DVD study features Emerson unpacking five of the life changing principles he presents at the Love and Respect marriage conference.
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Where To Buy
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Building Block DVD Sessions:
- Week 1: Pink and Blue: Not Wrong, Just Different (39 min.)
- Week 2: Hollywood or Holy Word? (25 min.)
- Week 3: 80:20 Ratio (41 min.)
- Week 4: Not Communication, but Mutual Understanding (33 min.)
- Week 5: My Response is My Responsibility (39 min.)
- Week 6: Review of the 5 Concepts (25 min.)
Building Blocks
Session Overviews
The seemingly simple statement of "I have nothing to wear" takes on a deeper significance when expressed by both a man and a woman, each with their unique interpretation. This disparity begs the question: How can two individuals utter the same words but carry entirely different intentions and emotions? The verse from Matthew 19:4 provides a profound insight into this phenomenon, reminding us of God's intentional creation of mankind as male and female. In this divine design, inherent dissimilarities exist that shape our perspectives, communication styles, and ways of processing information. Understanding and embracing these inherent differences are key to unraveling the complexities of relationships and fostering effective communication. By acknowledging and appreciating the distinct perspectives arising from our gender identities, we can navigate these intricacies with empathy, compassion, and a greater understanding of one another.
The question of "Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God's Holy Word?" invites deep introspection into the sources that influence our thoughts, beliefs, and values. In a world saturated with media and societal messages, it becomes crucial to discern the voice we prioritize. The verse from Romans 10:17 sheds light on the power of faith that stems from hearing and receiving the word of Christ. It emphasizes the significance of aligning our minds and hearts with the divine wisdom and guidance found in God's Holy Word. By intentionally seeking and absorbing the truths revealed in Scripture, we can filter out the noise of worldly influences and cultivate a stronger connection to God's transformative message. With the Word of God as our compass, we can navigate life's challenges, make decisions rooted in wisdom, and nurture a deepened relationship with our Creator.
The statement from God's Word that if we marry, we will encounter trouble raises an intriguing question: What kind of trouble do well-intentioned individuals face in marriage? The verse from 1 Corinthians 7:28 affirms that marriage itself is not sinful, but it acknowledges the reality that challenges and difficulties are an inherent part of married life. This acknowledgement prompts us to reflect on the nature of these troubles. While specific challenges may vary from couple to couple, the verse implies that even those with good intentions will inevitably encounter obstacles, conflicts, and trials along their marital journey. It serves as a reminder that relationships require effort, compromise, and constant growth. By recognizing the inevitability of such difficulties, we can approach them with resilience, empathy, and a willingness to work together to overcome obstacles, ultimately strengthening the bond between partners and nurturing a lasting and fulfilling marriage.
The importance of learning to speak and understand your spouse's language is emphasized as a pathway to achieving mutual understanding in a relationship. The verse from Matthew 12:34 provides a valuable insight into this concept, highlighting that our words reflect the thoughts and emotions that fill our hearts. When we take the time to truly listen and understand our partner's unique way of expressing themselves, we gain a deeper understanding of their inner world. By becoming attuned to their communication style, needs, and desires, we can bridge the gap between us and cultivate a sense of empathy and connection. When both partners make a sincere effort to communicate in a way that resonates with their spouse, they create an environment conducive to mutual understanding and emotional intimacy. This active pursuit of understanding, combined with open and compassionate communication, paves the way for a harmonious and fulfilling relationship.
Understanding that no one has the power to dictate our reactions and emotions is a transformative realization that brings forth power and freedom in our lives. The verse from Proverbs 21:23 reinforces this concept, emphasizing the importance of guarding our words and actions to protect our inner well-being. It implies that by exercising control over our speech and behaviors, we can shield our souls from unnecessary troubles.
This wisdom speaks to the fundamental truth that our reactions are ultimately our own choices. Despite external circumstances or the actions of others, we have the ability to determine how we respond. Recognizing this empowers us to take ownership of our emotions, thoughts, and actions. It liberates us from being at the mercy of external factors and grants us the agency to choose love, understanding, and grace in the face of challenges.
By embracing this understanding, we can cultivate emotional resilience, maintain inner peace, and foster healthier relationships. Instead of being reactive, we can respond thoughtfully and intentionally, considering the impact of our words and actions. This shift in perspective allows us to break free from the cycle of negativity, conflict, and emotional turmoil. Ultimately, it enables us to live a more fulfilling and purposeful life, guided by wisdom and the understanding that our choices shape our experiences.
The bonus insights provided for the five catch phrases in Building Blocks Vol. 1 offer valuable additional understanding and application of the teachings. The verse from Matthew 25:21, "His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness,'" serves as a foundation for these insights.
This verse conveys the message of commendation and reward for faithfulness and stewardship. It reminds us of the importance of being faithful and responsible in the areas entrusted to us. The bonus insights in Building Blocks Vol. 1 expand on this principle, encouraging individuals to apply the teachings from the catch phrases in their own lives and relationships.
By embracing and implementing these insights, participants have the opportunity to demonstrate faithfulness, wisdom, and growth in their actions and interactions. They are reminded of the potential for greater responsibilities and blessings that come from being faithful in the smaller aspects of life. Ultimately, these bonus insights serve as a reminder that our choices and faithfulness in everyday matters have the potential to shape our future and lead to a deep sense of joy and fulfillment.
Through the lens of the verse from Matthew 25:21, participants are encouraged to apply the teachings, make wise choices, and live in a manner that reflects their commitment to being faithful and responsible stewards. By doing so, they can experience the joy and fulfillment that come from aligning their lives with God's principles and purposes.
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The Building Blocks Study
Each DVD session begins with Emerson giving a 10-20 minute overview of the concept, followed by a short discussion time. Emerson then gives a 10-20 minute teaching on how to apply the concept to each of the 3 Love and Respect cycles, followed by more discussion prompted by the study guide questions. This 6 week study is a fantastic follow up for those who have read the book or attended a conference, but also serves as a wonderful introduction to the Love and Respect message.
- Our Couple's Kit includes: The DVD's containing all 6 sessions, 2 Study Guides and 1 of our keepsake "Building Blocks"
- Our Small Group Kit includes: The DVD's containing all 6 sessions, 12 Study Guides and 1 of our keepsake "Building Blocks"
- Additional Study Guides are available as singles of in packages of 10. Each person participating will need a Study Guide.
Insights Explored in Building Blocks
In these sessions, the differences between men and women are explored, emphasizing that despite saying the same thing, they may mean something entirely different. The importance of aligning our beliefs with God's Word rather than societal influences like Hollywood is highlighted. The understanding that trouble can be expected in marriages, even for well-intentioned individuals, is discussed. The significance of speaking and comprehending one another's language for mutual understanding is emphasized. The power of personal choice and the freedom that comes with it is examined. Bonus insights are provided for the five catch phrases covered in Building Blocks Vol. 1, reinforcing the idea of being faithful in small things to experience greater blessings. Throughout these sessions, relevant verses from the Bible are referenced to support and provide guidance.
Read What Others Are Saying About Building Blocks!
The love and respect course brought something nice in our relationship, which we did not even expect, because we did not know if we would hear anything new. I was cheering for the course because when I read the description I instinctively felt that we needed it. Although I had to start encouraging my husband to participate in the beginning, I must admit that during the course he became a major initiator of discussions and "homework", which enthused me and pleasantly surprised me. I noticed how strongly the content spoke to my husband and how it opened his heart, and helped him to express things he either did not know or know how to say it. We experienced each meeting like unwrapping a delicious candy that we enjoyed and savored ...The meetings were very pleasant, nothing intrusive, filled with a dice [sic] of humor and the richness of real experiences.
…I have been thinking about doing something for our marriage for some time, but my husband was not in favor. He was always bothered by the method—one on one, and of course, the financial aspect. He decided to try Building Blocks primarily because the course was practically free. After five years this was our first planned and regular time away doing something for the two of us. At first, I was a bit skeptical about the religious aspect, since my husband has practically no experience or a negative attitude towards religion. But it turned out to be completely acceptable, probably because you do not reinforce it…My husband rarely wanted to think about these things—he thought it was meaningless. He heard things for the first time in Building Blocks and discovered things he never talked about before. Certain truths really inspired him and consequently, me too. We both remember lesson five: My Response is My Responsibility. It made the greatest impression on us. In fact, I think I will write this on the wall in the bedroom! Perhaps the most valuable insight for both is the fact that we are not alone in our troubles and that others have very similar challenges…
...When I look back, it seems to me that the individual lessons were so created that the tension increases with each lesson. It was like a good criminal novel. I found myself in every lesson. Although I had already heard certain content, I experienced them in a completely different way. Maybe more mature. Then came the fifth lesson: My Response is My Responsibility. BAM! The content hit me like "a-ton-of-bricks”, as if it was written for me personally. This lesson exposed my biggest challenge, which has crippled me for many years. Of course, this does not mean my problem with wrong responses will be solved overnight. If I rely on God's Word and ask for the help from the Holy Spirit then it will be easier.
This seminar in a small group format is a great idea where conversations intertwine...supported by video material and personal reflections. This is very effective in my opinion. I was personally impacted by the lesson “The 80:20 Ratio”, and especially the fifth lesson, "My Response is My Responsibility." In between sessions I tried to put into practice on the “open sea” what we were learning. It works! Of course, this is not a magic wand, but a very effective tool that actually demonstrates its usefulness only through practice.
Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.
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Product Quotes
As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.
Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.
No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.
Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.
Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.
The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.
One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.
When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.
Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.
Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.
A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.
Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.
[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.
Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.
This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.
God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.
The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.
Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.
Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.
Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.
We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”
Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.
The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.
Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.
With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.
Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.
You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.
To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.
You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.
A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.
God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.
Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.
The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.
You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.
A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.
The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)
If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.
When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.
You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.
Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.
Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)
Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.
If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.
There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.
No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.
When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.
Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).
Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.
We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.
We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.
When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.
When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.
When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.
Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).
Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.
[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”
If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.
Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.
“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“
He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.
God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.
A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.
We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.
Your spouse has a need only you can fill.
Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.
When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.
Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.
We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.
Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.
The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).
Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires
Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!
Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.
Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.
We are worth Jesus to the Father.
Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?
The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.
When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.
It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.
You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!
Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.
Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.
“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.
Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.
God is good and wants what is best for us.
It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.
His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.
You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.
Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.
You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.
When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.
Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.
Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.
Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.
Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.
You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.
In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)
Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?
We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.
Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.
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