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Building Blocks DVD Study - Couple's Kit
The 6 week Building Blocks DVD study features Emerson unpacking five of the life changing principles he presents at the Love and Respect marriage conference. This 6 week study is a fantastic follow up for those who have read the book or attended a conference, but also serves as a wonderful introduction to the Love and Respect message.
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Where To Buy
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Building Blocks Sessions:
- Week 1: Pink and Blue: Not Wrong, Just Different (39 min.)
- Week 2: Hollywood or Holy Word? (25 min.)
- Week 3: 80:20 Ratio (41 min.)
- Week 4: Not Communication, but Mutual Understanding (33 min.)
- Week 5: My Response is My Responsibility (39 min.)
- Week 6: Review of the 5 Concepts (25 min.)
Building Blocks
Session Overviews
The seemingly simple statement of "I have nothing to wear" takes on a deeper significance when expressed by both a man and a woman, each with their unique interpretation. This disparity begs the question: How can two individuals utter the same words but carry entirely different intentions and emotions? The verse from Matthew 19:4 provides a profound insight into this phenomenon, reminding us of God's intentional creation of mankind as male and female. In this divine design, inherent dissimilarities exist that shape our perspectives, communication styles, and ways of processing information. Understanding and embracing these inherent differences are key to unraveling the complexities of relationships and fostering effective communication. By acknowledging and appreciating the distinct perspectives arising from our gender identities, we can navigate these intricacies with empathy, compassion, and a greater understanding of one another.
The question of "Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God's Holy Word?" invites deep introspection into the sources that influence our thoughts, beliefs, and values. In a world saturated with media and societal messages, it becomes crucial to discern the voice we prioritize. The verse from Romans 10:17 sheds light on the power of faith that stems from hearing and receiving the word of Christ. It emphasizes the significance of aligning our minds and hearts with the divine wisdom and guidance found in God's Holy Word. By intentionally seeking and absorbing the truths revealed in Scripture, we can filter out the noise of worldly influences and cultivate a stronger connection to God's transformative message. With the Word of God as our compass, we can navigate life's challenges, make decisions rooted in wisdom, and nurture a deepened relationship with our Creator.
The statement from God's Word that if we marry, we will encounter trouble raises an intriguing question: What kind of trouble do well-intentioned individuals face in marriage? The verse from 1 Corinthians 7:28 affirms that marriage itself is not sinful, but it acknowledges the reality that challenges and difficulties are an inherent part of married life. This acknowledgement prompts us to reflect on the nature of these troubles. While specific challenges may vary from couple to couple, the verse implies that even those with good intentions will inevitably encounter obstacles, conflicts, and trials along their marital journey. It serves as a reminder that relationships require effort, compromise, and constant growth. By recognizing the inevitability of such difficulties, we can approach them with resilience, empathy, and a willingness to work together to overcome obstacles, ultimately strengthening the bond between partners and nurturing a lasting and fulfilling marriage.
The importance of learning to speak and understand your spouse's language is emphasized as a pathway to achieving mutual understanding in a relationship. The verse from Matthew 12:34 provides a valuable insight into this concept, highlighting that our words reflect the thoughts and emotions that fill our hearts. When we take the time to truly listen and understand our partner's unique way of expressing themselves, we gain a deeper understanding of their inner world. By becoming attuned to their communication style, needs, and desires, we can bridge the gap between us and cultivate a sense of empathy and connection. When both partners make a sincere effort to communicate in a way that resonates with their spouse, they create an environment conducive to mutual understanding and emotional intimacy. This active pursuit of understanding, combined with open and compassionate communication, paves the way for a harmonious and fulfilling relationship.
Understanding that no one has the power to dictate our reactions and emotions is a transformative realization that brings forth power and freedom in our lives. The verse from Proverbs 21:23 reinforces this concept, emphasizing the importance of guarding our words and actions to protect our inner well-being. It implies that by exercising control over our speech and behaviors, we can shield our souls from unnecessary troubles.
This wisdom speaks to the fundamental truth that our reactions are ultimately our own choices. Despite external circumstances or the actions of others, we have the ability to determine how we respond. Recognizing this empowers us to take ownership of our emotions, thoughts, and actions. It liberates us from being at the mercy of external factors and grants us the agency to choose love, understanding, and grace in the face of challenges.
By embracing this understanding, we can cultivate emotional resilience, maintain inner peace, and foster healthier relationships. Instead of being reactive, we can respond thoughtfully and intentionally, considering the impact of our words and actions. This shift in perspective allows us to break free from the cycle of negativity, conflict, and emotional turmoil. Ultimately, it enables us to live a more fulfilling and purposeful life, guided by wisdom and the understanding that our choices shape our experiences.
The bonus insights provided for the five catch phrases in Building Blocks Vol. 1 offer valuable additional understanding and application of the teachings. The verse from Matthew 25:21, "His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness,'" serves as a foundation for these insights.
This verse conveys the message of commendation and reward for faithfulness and stewardship. It reminds us of the importance of being faithful and responsible in the areas entrusted to us. The bonus insights in Building Blocks Vol. 1 expand on this principle, encouraging individuals to apply the teachings from the catch phrases in their own lives and relationships.
By embracing and implementing these insights, participants have the opportunity to demonstrate faithfulness, wisdom, and growth in their actions and interactions. They are reminded of the potential for greater responsibilities and blessings that come from being faithful in the smaller aspects of life. Ultimately, these bonus insights serve as a reminder that our choices and faithfulness in everyday matters have the potential to shape our future and lead to a deep sense of joy and fulfillment.
Through the lens of the verse from Matthew 25:21, participants are encouraged to apply the teachings, make wise choices, and live in a manner that reflects their commitment to being faithful and responsible stewards. By doing so, they can experience the joy and fulfillment that come from aligning their lives with God's principles and purposes.
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The Building Blocks Study
Each DVD session begins with Emerson giving a 10-20 minute overview of the concept, followed by a short discussion time. Emerson then gives a 10-20 minute teaching on how to apply the concept to each of the 3 Love and Respect cycles, followed by more discussion prompted by the study guide questions. This 6 week study is a fantastic follow up for those who have read the book or attended a conference, but also serves as a wonderful introduction to the Love and Respect message.
- Our Couple's Kit includes: The DVD's containing all 6 sessions, 2 Study Guides and 1 of our keepsake "Building Blocks"
- Our Small Group Kit includes: The DVD's containing all 6 sessions, 12 Study Guides and 1 of our keepsake "Building Blocks"
- Additional Study Guides are available as singles or in packages of 10. Each person participating will need a Study Guide.
Insights Explored in Building Blocks
In these sessions, the differences between men and women are explored, emphasizing that despite saying the same thing, they may mean something entirely different. The importance of aligning our beliefs with God's Word rather than societal influences like Hollywood is highlighted. The understanding that trouble can be expected in marriages, even for well-intentioned individuals, is discussed. The significance of speaking and comprehending one another's language for mutual understanding is emphasized. The power of personal choice and the freedom that comes with it is examined. Bonus insights are provided for the five catch phrases covered in Building Blocks Vol. 1, reinforcing the idea of being faithful in small things to experience greater blessings. Throughout these sessions, relevant verses from the Bible are referenced to support and provide guidance.
Read What Others Are Saying About Building Blocks!
The love and respect course brought something nice in our relationship, which we did not even expect, because we did not know if we would hear anything new. I was cheering for the course because when I read the description I instinctively felt that we needed it. Although I had to start encouraging my husband to participate in the beginning, I must admit that during the course he became a major initiator of discussions and "homework", which enthused me and pleasantly surprised me. I noticed how strongly the content spoke to my husband and how it opened his heart, and helped him to express things he either did not know or know how to say it. We experienced each meeting like unwrapping a delicious candy that we enjoyed and savored ...The meetings were very pleasant, nothing intrusive, filled with a dice [sic] of humor and the richness of real experiences.
"I cannot thank you enough for sharing the wisdom and insight you have been blessed with. I have been married [for a long time], and it has been a roller coaster. For the last [few] years, our marriage was quiet. We just tolerated each other…[Now] [i]nstead of taking the defense, and jumping on the crazy cycle, I've begun to recognize the signs and symptoms of the crazy cycle and it has changed how I respond. I have seen a change in my husband and it’s amazing."
For one, as an artist, I really appreciate the thoughtfulness put into the design elements of The Illumination Project. Often design is left behind in the pragmatic work of content makers… leaving the program feeling irrelevantly dated in its communication. We are a visually driven culture, and design plays a vital role in the relaying of ideas and meaning. The Illumination Project not only brings us into content that we so desperately need to digest, but it gives it to us with a visual ‘spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down.’ Bravo.
"Excellent videos. My husband and I have learned what causes us to get on the crazy cycle during conflict. That has been eye opening and an area for growth in our marriage. He is my ally, not my enemy."
Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.
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Product Quotes
Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.
Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)
No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.
It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.
We are equal but we are not the same.
Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.
Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.
Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?
Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.
We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.
He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.
If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.
When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.
Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.
Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.
Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)
When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.
Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.
As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!
Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?
When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.
Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.
Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.
We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.
Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.
When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.
A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.
Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.
Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.
I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.
God is good and wants what is best for us.
We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.
Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"
We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.
A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.
It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.
A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.
If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.
Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.
Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.
Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.
Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.
Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.
We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.
Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.
Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.
It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.
When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.
[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”
The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)
Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).
Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.
When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.
Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.
Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)
We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.
The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.
Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.
Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.
We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”
Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.
You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.
Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.
Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?
Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.
She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.
Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.
The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.
As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.
Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.
The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).
When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.
Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.
Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.
One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.
The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.
Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.
Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.
When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.
Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.
God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.
When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.
A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.
When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.
His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.
When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.
Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.
God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.
When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)
A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.
Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.
In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.
To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.
Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.
You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.
We are worth Jesus to the Father.
The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.
A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.
God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.
God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.
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