Amor Y Respeto - Cuaderno De Trabajo: Videoconferencia (Descargar PDF)

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

We are equal but we are not the same.

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.