Amor Y Respeto - Cuaderno De Trabajo: Videoconferencia (Descargar PDF)

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).