Amor Y Respeto - Cuaderno De Trabajo: Videoconferencia (Descargar PDF)

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.