Amor Y Respeto - Cuaderno De Trabajo: Videoconferencia (Descargar PDF)

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Your words reveal your heart.

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

We are equal but we are not the same.

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.