Amor Y Respeto - Cuaderno De Trabajo: Videoconferencia (Descargar PDF)

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

We are equal but we are not the same.

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?