Amor Y Respeto - Cuaderno De Trabajo: Videoconferencia (Descargar PDF)

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

We are equal but we are not the same.

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

Your words reveal your heart.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.