Love & Respect Conference and 10 Week Study - Workbook (Download)

This is a digital download purchase of the study guide for the 10 Week Love and Respect Conference series, available to watch in both DVD and online format. This purchase is for single-use license - Order as many as you will need.

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The Love & Respect Conference Workbook

Unlock the secret to a thriving marriage

In Love & Respect, author Dr. Emerson Eggerichs introduces the concept of the Crazy Cycle, a negative communication pattern that can occur in marriages. When one partner responds in a way that feels disrespectful to the other partner, it can trigger a negative reaction, causing the cycle to continue. Learn how to break the cycle and build a stronger relationship.

To break the Crazy Cycle, Dr. Eggerichs suggests that couples need to recognize and address the underlying needs for love and respect in both partners. By showing love and respect to one another, couples can create a positive cycle of interaction and strengthen their relationship. You will learn practical tips and exercises to cultivate this positive cycle.

Through the Crazy Cycle, Love & Respect offers valuable insights into the ways that negative communication patterns can impact a marriage. By understanding and addressing these patterns, couples can build a stronger and more loving relationship.

In Love & Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs presents an alternative to the Crazy Cycle: the Energizing Cycle. This positive communication pattern starts with the wife showing respect to her husband, which makes him feel respected. In turn, the husband shows love to his wife, which makes her feel loved. This creates a positive feedback loop where both partners feel loved and respected.

By consistently showing appreciation, affection, and empathy, couples can cultivate the Energizing Cycle and build a strong and healthy relationship. Love and respect are two essential needs for both partners in a marriage, and meeting these needs can lead to greater intimacy, connection, and satisfaction in the relationship.

The Energizing Cycle offers a practical and effective way for couples to break negative communication patterns and build a more positive and fulfilling relationship. By intentionally showing love and respect to one another, couples can strengthen their bond and experience greater happiness and fulfillment in their marriage.

In Love & Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs introduces the concept of the Rewarded Cycle, where the husband demonstrates love regardless of her respect and the wife demonstrates respect regardless of his love.

But what if your husband doesn't show you love when you show him respect? What if your wife doesn't show you respect as you show her love? If you get no results from practicing Love & Respect, why bother?

The Rewarded Cycle gives you the answers to these questions. In a real sense, the Rewarded Cycle is the most important session in this course as we are called to love and respect are spouse unconditionally, unto the Lord.

The C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym stands for Closeness, Openness, Understanding, Peacemaking, Loyalty, and Esteem. This is how a husband shows love to his wife.

Each element of the C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym represents a key aspect of a healthy and fulfilling relationship. By working to develop these qualities in their marriage, couples can build a stronger and more loving relationship.

In these six area you will learn how to spell "love" to your wife.

The C.H.A.I.R.S. acronym presented in this course gives you practical, biblical ways that will help you become more respectful women. Wives do not need a lot of coaching on being loving. It is something God built into them, and they do it naturally. However, they do need help with respect.

Providing more energy for your marriage is exactly what the C.H.A.I.R.S. acronym is all about. C.H.A.I.R.S stands for the six major values that your husband holds: Conquest, Hierarchy, Authority, Insight, Relationship, and Sexuality.

In these six areas you will learn how to spell "respect" to your husband.

Love & Respect Conference and 10 Week Study

Workbook Digital Download

The Workbook

This is the comprehensive workbook to the new Love & Respect Conference DVDs and 10 Week study. This workbook can facilitate individual, couple or group study and includes a LEADER’S GUIDE section. It can be used to just watch the live conference portion of the DVDs, using the fill-in-the-blank in-session guide only, but the best option is to combine this with a more in-depth study using the discussion questions for each session, the application portion, the mid-week devotional time and more! The good news is you get both in this workbook.

More About the Conference DVDS and Study

Excited yet burdened about male and female relationships, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife Sarah launched the Love & Respect Conferences in 1999. Based on over three decades of counseling as well as scientific and biblical research, this conference has given hope and new life to thousands of marriages over the last 17 years and is now available in HD on DVD for the first time, with over 6 hours of dynamic teaching on five discs! It is a great resource for your personal or counseling library. Filmed in front of a live audience this presentation is perfect for individuals, couples and small groups.

Get to know...

Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.

About Love & Respect
Portrait of Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Product Quotes

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

Love & Respect

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

The Love and Respect Experience

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

Love & Respect

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

Love & Respect

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

The Love and Respect Experience

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Respectfully Yours

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

Love & Respect Book

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

Building Blocks

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

Building Blocks

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

Respectfully Yours

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

Love & Respect

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Respectfully Yours

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

Love & Respect Boook

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

Building Blocks

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

Love & Respect

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Love & Respect

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

The Love and Respect Experience

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

Love & Respect

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

Love & Respect

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

Building Blocks

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Love & Respect

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

Love & Respect Podcast

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

The Love and Respect Experience

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

Building Blocks

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

Love & Respect Book

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

Respectfully Yours

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

The Love and Respect Experience

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Before You Hit Send

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Building Blocks

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

The Love and Respect Experience

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Love & Respect in the Family

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Love & Respect

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

Respectfully Yours

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Love & Respect

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

Love & Respect

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

The Love and Respect Experience

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

The Love and Respect Experience

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

Love & Respect

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

The Love and Respect Experience

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

The Love and Respect Experience

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

Love & Respect Podcast

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

The Language of Love & Respect

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

The Love and Respect Experience

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

Respectfully Yours

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

The Love and Respect Experience

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

The Language of Love & Respect Book

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

The Language of Love & Respect Book

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

Before You Hit Send

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

Before You Hit Send

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

Love & Respect Book

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

Building Blocks

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

The Love and Respect Experience

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

Love & Respect

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

Building Blocks

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

The Love and Respect Experience

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

Building Blocks

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

Respectfully Yours

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

Building Blocks

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

Building Blocks

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

The Love and Respect Experience

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Before You Hit Send

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

The Love and Respect Experience

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Building Blocks

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

Love & Respect

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Love & Respect

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

The Love and Respect Experience

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime
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