Amor y Respeto - Cuaderno De Trabajo: Videoconferencia

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

Your words reveal your heart.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.