Amor y Respeto - Cuaderno De Trabajo: Videoconferencia

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

Your words reveal your heart.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

We are equal but we are not the same.

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.