Amor y Respeto - Cuaderno De Trabajo: Videoconferencia

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

We are equal but we are not the same.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.