Amor y Respeto - Cuaderno De Trabajo: Videoconferencia

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

We are equal but we are not the same.

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.