Amor y Respeto - Cuaderno De Trabajo: Videoconferencia

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Your words reveal your heart.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“