Marriage

Keep Your Finger on the Pulse of Your Marriage

A Husband's Temptations Can Result in the Wife Feeling Like a Failure

A Husband's Temptations Can Result in the Wife Feeling Like a Failure

As one wife said, "Women don’t have a vulnerability when it comes to sexual matters like male nudity, but they do have a concern about the vulnerability that their husbands have in this area with regard to pornography or the sexually seductive female.

Who We Are To God And Who God Is To Us In Marriage?

Who We Are To God And Who God Is To Us In Marriage?

Realizing we are "saints" in God's view regardless of our failures in marriage (Ephesians 1:1-14). As believers, we must understand that in God’s eyes, we are saints, holy and blameless, regardless of any marital struggles we may face.

Keep Your Finger on the Pulse of Your Marriage

Keep Your Finger on the Pulse of Your Marriage

Marriage is a journey filled with highs and lows, moments of joy, and periods of conflict. It's essential to keep your finger on the pulse of your marriage, being aware of your own emotions and those of your spouse. This awareness can help you navigate through challenging times with grace and understanding.

The Vince Lombardi Approach to Marriage: Mastering the Fundamentals

The Vince Lombardi Approach to Marriage: Mastering the Fundamentals

At the beginning of every new football season, Vince Lombardi would lift up the focal object of their game and exclaim, “Gentlemen, this is a football.” The point he was making to his team was simple: start with the basics. If they are to find success on the field, then the fundamentals of their game must be mastered and maintained.

When the Energizing Cycle Doesn’t Work

When the Energizing Cycle Doesn’t Work

When it comes to faithfully and unconditionally applying love and respect in your marriage, what do most people say their worst fear is? For a husband, it’s that he learns to show love in the way that should touch his wife at her core but then she still shows him contempt. In response to his goodwilled attempts to be close, open, understanding, peacemaking, loyal, and esteeming (see C.O.U.P.L.E. from my book Love & Respect), she remains disrespectful.

The Vince Lombardi Approach to Marriage: Mastering the Fundamentals

When the Energizing Cycle Doesn’t Work

He is Different. She is Different. How Do You Deal With Disappointment?

He is Different. She is Different. How Do You Deal With Disappointment?

She is disappointed because she sees him neglecting her heartfelt concerns, even dismissing them in a condescending way. To her, he is too stoic, matter of fact. Furthermore, she cannot believe that he would bark out solutions when she simply needs from him a listening ear and empathetic demeanor. To her, two people who care for each other will "tend, mend, and befriend," and that revolves around what one feels. In her opinion, that is the key to connecting. Two people give the report on what they are feeling to build rapport. This is what marriage is all about—husband and wife talk to discover what they are feeling, and explore those feelings, and stay with the discussion about those feelings until there is a sense of closure and closeness. For a woman, to shut down on such conversations, to declare, “Just drop it and move on; it’s no big deal” is like finger nails down a chalkboard.

Does the Eden Inside Your Heart Bring You Closer to Your Spouse or Drive You Apart?

Does the Eden Inside Your Heart Bring You Closer to Your Spouse or Drive You Apart?

Have you noticed yet that the paradise of Eden still remains in your heart? Have you recognized where the Eden in your heart has affected your relationship with your spouse and your expectations in your marriage? Let me explain. In the beginning, God created man “in his own image . . . male and female he created them” (Gen. 1:27). Then after all of Creation was finished, the passage continues by saying, “And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good” (v. 31).

For Your Spouse, “Cleaving” Probably Means Something Different than What It Means to You

For Your Spouse, “Cleaving” Probably Means Something Different than What It Means to You

We read in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” It is from this verse that we get the well-known saying that a husband “leaves and cleaves.” But for the husband who interprets this scriptural command to “leave and cleave” and become “one flesh” as purely sexual, I have some disappointing news to share with them. For most wives, cleaving does indeed mean a face-to-face closeness, but not in a sexual way. For her, this face-to-face closeness entails talking about the things that matter to her.

Do You Use The Wrong Tools In Your Marriage?

Do You Use The Wrong Tools In Your Marriage?

In your experience, have you found that any of the following approaches have worked to influence, motivate, and energize your spouse? Keeping track of the other’s wrongs with resentment, nagging and criticizing without seeing any good, judging and shaming from a spirit of self-righteousness, getting angry to the point of showing hostility and contempt, manipulating to achieve a selfish or worthy agenda, blaming without any acknowledgment of one’s own faults, and fighting for control, not for win-win.