Marriage

Keep Your Finger on the Pulse of Your Marriage

A Husband's Temptations Can Result in the Wife Feeling Like a Failure

A Husband's Temptations Can Result in the Wife Feeling Like a Failure

As one wife said, "Women don’t have a vulnerability when it comes to sexual matters like male nudity, but they do have a concern about the vulnerability that their husbands have in this area with regard to pornography or the sexually seductive female.

Who We Are To God And Who God Is To Us In Marriage?

Who We Are To God And Who God Is To Us In Marriage?

Realizing we are "saints" in God's view regardless of our failures in marriage (Ephesians 1:1-14). As believers, we must understand that in God’s eyes, we are saints, holy and blameless, regardless of any marital struggles we may face.

Keep Your Finger on the Pulse of Your Marriage

Keep Your Finger on the Pulse of Your Marriage

Marriage is a journey filled with highs and lows, moments of joy, and periods of conflict. It's essential to keep your finger on the pulse of your marriage, being aware of your own emotions and those of your spouse. This awareness can help you navigate through challenging times with grace and understanding.

The Vince Lombardi Approach to Marriage: Mastering the Fundamentals

The Vince Lombardi Approach to Marriage: Mastering the Fundamentals

At the beginning of every new football season, Vince Lombardi would lift up the focal object of their game and exclaim, “Gentlemen, this is a football.” The point he was making to his team was simple: start with the basics. If they are to find success on the field, then the fundamentals of their game must be mastered and maintained.

When the Energizing Cycle Doesn’t Work

When the Energizing Cycle Doesn’t Work

When it comes to faithfully and unconditionally applying love and respect in your marriage, what do most people say their worst fear is? For a husband, it’s that he learns to show love in the way that should touch his wife at her core but then she still shows him contempt. In response to his goodwilled attempts to be close, open, understanding, peacemaking, loyal, and esteeming (see C.O.U.P.L.E. from my book Love & Respect), she remains disrespectful.

The Vince Lombardi Approach to Marriage: Mastering the Fundamentals

When the Energizing Cycle Doesn’t Work

Whatever Happened, You Can Still Move Forward as a Love and Respect Team

Whatever Happened, You Can Still Move Forward as a Love and Respect Team

Have you ever meditated on 1 Corinthians 7:11, which says, ". . . (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife"? What's the backstory to this verse? Paul does not mention adultery or abandonment in this text—the two traditional justifications for biblical divorce—so it is safe to infer that biblical grounds for divorce are not in play here. He simply says that the husband is not to divorce and the wife should not marry someone else in the event that she leaves her husband.

Can How We Were Nurtured Actually Mask Over Our Deep Felt Needs?

Can How We Were Nurtured Actually Mask Over Our Deep Felt Needs?

In my book Love & Respect, I conclude that wives are made to love, want to love, and expect love. Alternatively, their husbands are made to be respected, want respect, and expect respect. However, I am always quick to point out that, though these conclusions have been based on years of research, studies, and polls with thousands of subjects, we must still view them as on a bell curve—there is certainly room for women to lean less on love and more on respect than other women do, and for men to place more importance on love than they do on respect.

Are You Mistaking a Crazy Cycle for a Crazy Train?

Are You Mistaking a Crazy Cycle for a Crazy Train?

The Crazy Cycle, as explained in my book Love & Respect, says, “Without love she reacts without respect. Without respect he reacts without love.” If neither husband nor wife is mature and calm enough to recognize this cycle and to step off in order to slow it down, it will only strengthen and keep on spinning. Unfortunately, many couples when in conflict do not recognize that they have stepped onto the Crazy Cycle and nothing begins to simmer down until one of them, typically the husband, storms off and withdraws from the fight, with the attitude to simply “live to fight another day.”

What Do I Do Now? When Being the Mature One Doesn't Seem to Help

What Do I Do Now? When Being the Mature One Doesn't Seem to Help

Oftentimes, a husband or wife recognizes where he or she has not been loving or respecting their spouse as they should and honestly seeks to be intentional about getting off the constant Crazy Cycle they feel they have been spinning on for a large part of their marriage. They make significant changes in their previously harsh and unloving tones and words, they pursue peace with their spouse at all times instead of seeking only their own will, and they learn how to better communicate to their spouse’s pink or blue “hearing aids.”