The Language of Love & Respect Workbook

Now with the Language of Love & Respect companion workbook, you can study Dr. Eggerichs’ practical, step-by-step approach for how husbands and wives can learn to speak each other’s distinct language. This is a must have for an in depth study as you read the book.

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Explore The Language of Love & Respect

Crack the Communication Code in Marriage

This concise yet powerful resource takes you on a transformative short course, delving into the core principles of love and respect in relationships. Discover profound insights and practical guidance as you navigate the intricacies of communication, unlocking the key to nurturing a vibrant and fulfilling connection with your spouse. With its condensed format, this book within a book offers a valuable resource for those seeking to enhance their understanding of love and respect in a concise and impactful way.

Discover the three vital truths for better communication. These pivotal chapters shed light on essential aspects of effective communication in relationships. Delve into the significance of the mouth and words within the context of marriage, understanding their impact on connection and harmony. Embrace the beauty of differences and learn to navigate varying viewpoints with empathy and respect. Reflect on the crucial role of trust and goodwill in communication, fostering openness and vulnerability. Through these vital truths, you will gain practical strategies to enhance your communication skills, fostering deep and meaningful connections with your spouse.

Unmask the relentless enemy of marital communication known as "The Crazy Cycle." This eye-opening resource sheds light on the destructive patterns that can sabotage communication in relationships. Explore the negative spirals of reactions and responses that can escalate conflicts, leading to emotional disconnection and frustration. Gain profound insights into breaking free from this cycle, learning how to navigate conflicts with grace and understanding, and restoring harmony in your communication dynamics.

Discover the transformative power of "The Energizing Cycle" and its profound impact on communication. Dive into the core principle of meeting your spouse's needs as a foundation for fostering understanding and connection. Explore practical strategies for recognizing and fulfilling your spouse's emotional and relational needs, unlocking a powerful cycle of mutual support and engagement. This resource offers invaluable guidance to cultivate a thriving and vibrant connection built on love and respect.

The Rewarded Cycle in the book emphasizes unconditional love and respect in marriage, guided by obedience to God's commands, irrespective of a spouse's response. It highlights the spiritual rewards from God when one acts in love and respect. The book also introduces the "Jesus way of talking," which encourages truthful, uplifting, and forgiving communication. This cycle offers a liberating perspective, especially for challenging marriages, suggesting that one's actions can be spiritually rewarding even if their spouse doesn't reciprocate.

The Language of Love & Respect Workbook

Cracking the Communication Code with Your Mate

Unlock the Power of Communication

Communication expert Dr. Emerson Eggerichs says that the problem is couples are sending each other messages in 'code,' but they won't crack that code until they see that she listens to hear the language of love and he listens to hear the language of respect.

Please note: This is for use with the Language of Love & Respect book and not for use with the DVD which is a recording of the Live Conference.

Revolutionize Your Communication

Communication between couples has been dissected in thousands of books and articles, so why does it remain the number one marriage problem? "Because," says Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, "most spouses don't know that they speak two different languages.

Now with The Language of Love and Respect companion workbook, the message of this hardcover tradebook can be studied and applied whether for a group or for individual couples. The result will be better communication, mutual understanding, and a successful godly marriage.

Get to know...

Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.

About Love & Respect
Portrait of Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Product Quotes

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

Before You Hit Send

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

Respectfully Yours

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

Building Blocks

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

The Love and Respect Experience

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Before You Hit Send

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

The Love and Respect Experience

Your words reveal your heart.

The Love and Respect Experience

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

Love & Respect

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Love & Respect

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

Love & Respect Book

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Building Blocks

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

Love & Respect Podcast

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Building Blocks

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

The Love and Respect Experience

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Respectfully Yours

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Before You Hit Send

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Love & Respect

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

Love & Respect in the Family

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

Building Blocks

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

Respectfully Yours

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

The Love and Respect Experience

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

The Love and Respect Experience

Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.

The Love and Respect Experience

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

The Language of Love & Respect

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

The Language of Love & Respect Book

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

Building Blocks

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

Love & Respect in the Family

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

The Love and Respect Experience

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Before You Hit Send

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

Before You Hit Send

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

Love & Respect

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

Building Blocks

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

The Love and Respect Experience

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

The Love and Respect Experience

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

Love & Respect

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

The Love and Respect Experience

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

The Language of Love & Respect

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

The Love and Respect Experience

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

Love & Respect

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

The Language of Love & Respect

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Building Blocks

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

The Language of Love & Respect

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

Love & Respect

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

Building Blocks

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

Love & Respect

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

The Language of Love & Respect Book

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

The Language of Love & Respect Book

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

The Love and Respect Experience

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

Building Blocks

No matter what your struggle- criticism, constant conflict, sex, money, parenting, harsh words- learning to communicate the Love and Respect way can help you make crucial changes and build the kind of relationship that God blesses.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

The Language of Love & Respect Book

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

Building Blocks

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

Love & Respect

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

Love & Respect

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

Love & Respect

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

Love & Respect

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

The Love and Respect Experience

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

Building Blocks

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Love & Respect Podcast

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

The Love and Respect Experience

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

Respectfully Yours

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

Love & Respect Podcast

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Love & Respect

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

The Love and Respect Experience

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

Respectfully Yours

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

Respectfully Yours

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Love & Respect in the Family

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

Before You Hit Send

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

Love & Respect

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

Love & Respect in the Family

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

Respectfully Yours

Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Love & Respect

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

The Love and Respect Experience

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

Love & Respect

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

Love & Respect

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Love & Respect

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

The Love and Respect Experience

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

The Love and Respect Experience
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