Crazy Cycle CD (10 Pack)

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Your words reveal your heart.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

We are equal but we are not the same.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

No matter what your struggle- criticism, constant conflict, sex, money, parenting, harsh words- learning to communicate the Love and Respect way can help you make crucial changes and build the kind of relationship that God blesses.

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.