Crazy Cycle CD (10 Pack)

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.