Crazy Cycle CD (10 Pack)

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.