Crazy Cycle CD (10 Pack)

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Your words reveal your heart.

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.