Crazy Cycle CD (10 Pack)

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

We are equal but we are not the same.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.