Love & Respect Conference and 10 Week Study - Workbook (Download)

This is a digital download purchase of the study guide for the 10 Week Love and Respect Conference series, available to watch in both DVD and online format. This purchase is for single-use license - Order as many as you will need.

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The Love & Respect Conference Workbook

Unlock the secret to a thriving marriage

In Love & Respect, author Dr. Emerson Eggerichs introduces the concept of the Crazy Cycle, a negative communication pattern that can occur in marriages. When one partner responds in a way that feels disrespectful to the other partner, it can trigger a negative reaction, causing the cycle to continue. Learn how to break the cycle and build a stronger relationship.

To break the Crazy Cycle, Dr. Eggerichs suggests that couples need to recognize and address the underlying needs for love and respect in both partners. By showing love and respect to one another, couples can create a positive cycle of interaction and strengthen their relationship. You will learn practical tips and exercises to cultivate this positive cycle.

Through the Crazy Cycle, Love & Respect offers valuable insights into the ways that negative communication patterns can impact a marriage. By understanding and addressing these patterns, couples can build a stronger and more loving relationship.

In Love & Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs presents an alternative to the Crazy Cycle: the Energizing Cycle. This positive communication pattern starts with the wife showing respect to her husband, which makes him feel respected. In turn, the husband shows love to his wife, which makes her feel loved. This creates a positive feedback loop where both partners feel loved and respected.

By consistently showing appreciation, affection, and empathy, couples can cultivate the Energizing Cycle and build a strong and healthy relationship. Love and respect are two essential needs for both partners in a marriage, and meeting these needs can lead to greater intimacy, connection, and satisfaction in the relationship.

The Energizing Cycle offers a practical and effective way for couples to break negative communication patterns and build a more positive and fulfilling relationship. By intentionally showing love and respect to one another, couples can strengthen their bond and experience greater happiness and fulfillment in their marriage.

In Love & Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs introduces the concept of the Rewarded Cycle, where the husband demonstrates love regardless of her respect and the wife demonstrates respect regardless of his love.

But what if your husband doesn't show you love when you show him respect? What if your wife doesn't show you respect as you show her love? If you get no results from practicing Love & Respect, why bother?

The Rewarded Cycle gives you the answers to these questions. In a real sense, the Rewarded Cycle is the most important session in this course as we are called to love and respect are spouse unconditionally, unto the Lord.

The C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym stands for Closeness, Openness, Understanding, Peacemaking, Loyalty, and Esteem. This is how a husband shows love to his wife.

Each element of the C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym represents a key aspect of a healthy and fulfilling relationship. By working to develop these qualities in their marriage, couples can build a stronger and more loving relationship.

In these six area you will learn how to spell "love" to your wife.

The C.H.A.I.R.S. acronym presented in this course gives you practical, biblical ways that will help you become more respectful women. Wives do not need a lot of coaching on being loving. It is something God built into them, and they do it naturally. However, they do need help with respect.

Providing more energy for your marriage is exactly what the C.H.A.I.R.S. acronym is all about. C.H.A.I.R.S stands for the six major values that your husband holds: Conquest, Hierarchy, Authority, Insight, Relationship, and Sexuality.

In these six areas you will learn how to spell "respect" to your husband.

Love & Respect Conference and 10 Week Study

Workbook Digital Download

The Workbook

This is the comprehensive workbook to the new Love & Respect Conference DVDs and 10 Week study. This workbook can facilitate individual, couple or group study and includes a LEADER’S GUIDE section. It can be used to just watch the live conference portion of the DVDs, using the fill-in-the-blank in-session guide only, but the best option is to combine this with a more in-depth study using the discussion questions for each session, the application portion, the mid-week devotional time and more! The good news is you get both in this workbook.

More About the Conference DVDS and Study

Excited yet burdened about male and female relationships, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife Sarah launched the Love & Respect Conferences in 1999. Based on over three decades of counseling as well as scientific and biblical research, this conference has given hope and new life to thousands of marriages over the last 17 years and is now available in HD on DVD for the first time, with over 6 hours of dynamic teaching on five discs! It is a great resource for your personal or counseling library. Filmed in front of a live audience this presentation is perfect for individuals, couples and small groups.

Get to know...

Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.

About Love & Respect
Portrait of Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Product Quotes

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

Building Blocks

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Building Blocks

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

Building Blocks

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

Respectfully Yours

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

The Love and Respect Experience

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

Love & Respect

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

Building Blocks

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

Respectfully Yours

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

The Love and Respect Experience

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

Respectfully Yours

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

Love & Respect Podcast

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Building Blocks

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Love & Respect in the Family

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

Building Blocks

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Building Blocks

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Respectfully Yours

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

Building Blocks

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Respectfully Yours

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Love & Respect

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

The Love and Respect Experience

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Love & Respect

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

Building Blocks

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

The Love and Respect Experience

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

Love & Respect Book

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

The Love and Respect Experience

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

Building Blocks

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

The Love and Respect Experience

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

The Love and Respect Experience

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

Building Blocks

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

The Love and Respect Experience

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

Building Blocks

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

Love & Respect

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Building Blocks

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

Building Blocks

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

Respectfully Yours

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Love & Respect Podcast

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Love & Respect Podcast

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

Before You Hit Send

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

Respectfully Yours

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

The Love and Respect Experience

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

Love & Respect Book

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

The Love and Respect Experience

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Love & Respect

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Respectfully Yours

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

Building Blocks

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

Love & Respect

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

Before You Hit Send

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

Respectfully Yours

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

The Language of Love & Respect Book

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Love & Respect Podcast

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

The Love and Respect Experience

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

Building Blocks

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

Love & Respect

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

The Love and Respect Experience

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

The Love and Respect Experience

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Love & Respect

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

The Love and Respect Experience

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

We are equal but we are not the same.

Building Blocks

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

The Love and Respect Experience

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

Love & Respect

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

The Love and Respect Experience

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

Building Blocks

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

Building Blocks

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

The Love and Respect Experience

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

Building Blocks

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

The Love and Respect Experience

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Love & Respect
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