Love & Respect Conference and 10 Week - Small Group Kit

In this set you will receive a copy of the conference DVDs and 10 comprehensive workbooks (which include a LEADER’S GUIDE section) for facilitating your small group. The “live” Love & Respect Marriage Conference has been presented to audiences all over the country for the last 20 years and is now available in HD on DVD for the first time! It is perfect for individuals, couples and small groups and includes (10) accompanying comprehensive workbooks. The workbook includes a fill-in-the-blank in-session guide (this will mimic what an actual conference participant is doing), comprehensive discussion questions, space for reflection, mid-week devotions, and more. The DVDs are divided into 10 sessions with introductions to each conference session from Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. *Closed Captioning for the hearing impaired

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Where To Buy

The Love & Respect Conference

Unlock the secret to a thriving marriage

In Love & Respect, author Dr. Emerson Eggerichs introduces the concept of the Crazy Cycle, a negative communication pattern that can occur in marriages. When one partner responds in a way that feels disrespectful to the other partner, it can trigger a negative reaction, causing the cycle to continue. Learn how to break the cycle and build a stronger relationship.

To break the Crazy Cycle, Dr. Eggerichs suggests that couples need to recognize and address the underlying needs for love and respect in both partners. By showing love and respect to one another, couples can create a positive cycle of interaction and strengthen their relationship. You will learn practical tips and exercises to cultivate this positive cycle.

Through the Crazy Cycle, Love & Respect offers valuable insights into the ways that negative communication patterns can impact a marriage. By understanding and addressing these patterns, couples can build a stronger and more loving relationship.

In Love & Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs presents an alternative to the Crazy Cycle: the Energizing Cycle. This positive communication pattern starts with the wife showing respect to her husband, which makes him feel respected. In turn, the husband shows love to his wife, which makes her feel loved. This creates a positive feedback loop where both partners feel loved and respected.

By consistently showing appreciation, affection, and empathy, couples can cultivate the Energizing Cycle and build a strong and healthy relationship. Love and respect are two essential needs for both partners in a marriage, and meeting these needs can lead to greater intimacy, connection, and satisfaction in the relationship.

The Energizing Cycle offers a practical and effective way for couples to break negative communication patterns and build a more positive and fulfilling relationship. By intentionally showing love and respect to one another, couples can strengthen their bond and experience greater happiness and fulfillment in their marriage.

In Love & Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs introduces the concept of the Rewarded Cycle, where the husband demonstrates love regardless of her respect and the wife demonstrates respect regardless of his love.

But what if your husband doesn't show you love when you show him respect? What if your wife doesn't show you respect as you show her love? If you get no results from practicing Love & Respect, why bother?

The Rewarded Cycle gives you the answers to these questions. In a real sense, the Rewarded Cycle is the most important session in this course as we are called to love and respect are spouse unconditionally, unto the Lord.

The C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym stands for Closeness, Openness, Understanding, Peacemaking, Loyalty, and Esteem. This is how a husband shows love to his wife.

Each element of the C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym represents a key aspect of a healthy and fulfilling relationship. By working to develop these qualities in their marriage, couples can build a stronger and more loving relationship.

In these six areas you will learn how to spell "love" to your wife.

The C.H.A.I.R.S. acronym presented in this course gives you practical, biblical ways that will help you become more respectful women. Wives do not need a lot of coaching on being loving. It is something God built into them, and they do it naturally. However, they do need help with respect.

Providing more energy for your marriage is exactly what the C.H.A.I.R.S. acronym is all about. C.H.A.I.R.S stands for the six major values that your husband holds: Conquest, Hierarchy, Authority, Insight, Relationship, and Sexuality.

In these six area you will learn how to spell "respect" to your husband.

Love & Respect Conference and 10 Week Study

Small Group Kit

The Conference DVDS and Study

Excited yet burdened about male and female relationships, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife Sarah launched the Love & Respect Conferences in 1999. Based on over three decades of counseling as well as scientific and biblical research, this conference has given hope and new life to thousands of marriages over the last 17 years and is now available in HD on DVD for the first time, with over 6 hours of dynamic teaching on five discs! It is a great resource for your personal or counseling library. Filmed in front of a live audience this presentation is perfect for individuals, couples and small groups.

In the extensive 6+ hours of content, participants will have the opportunity to explore and find answers to three significant questions that often arise in the context of marriage:

  1. Why do we find ourselves negatively reacting to each other within the confines of marriage? This fundamental question will be thoroughly addressed through an exploration of the dynamic known as the Crazy Cycle.
  2. How can we effectively motivate our spouse and foster a positive connection? The Energizing Cycle offers valuable guidance and strategies to tackle this question.
  3. What can be done when our efforts to connect with our spouse do not yield the desired response? The Rewarded Cycle offers insights and actionable steps to navigate such situations.
Get to know...

Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.

About Love & Respect
Portrait of Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Product Quotes

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

Before You Hit Send

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

Building Blocks

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

Love & Respect in the Family

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

Love & Respect

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Respectfully Yours

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

Love & Respect

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

The Love and Respect Experience

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

Love & Respect Podcast

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Building Blocks

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Building Blocks

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

Building Blocks

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

Love & Respect

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

Love & Respect Book

We are equal but we are not the same.

Building Blocks

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

The Love and Respect Experience

Your words reveal your heart.

The Love and Respect Experience

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

The Love and Respect Experience

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

Respectfully Yours

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

Love & Respect

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.

The Love and Respect Experience

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

Building Blocks

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

The Love and Respect Experience

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

The Love and Respect Experience

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

Love & Respect

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Before You Hit Send

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

Respectfully Yours

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

Building Blocks

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

Love & Respect in the Family

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

Building Blocks

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

Love & Respect

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

Respectfully Yours

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

Love & Respect

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

The Love and Respect Experience

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

The Love and Respect Experience

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

The Love and Respect Experience

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

Building Blocks

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

The Love and Respect Experience

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Building Blocks

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

Love & Respect in the Family

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

The Love and Respect Experience

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

Respectfully Yours

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

Building Blocks

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

Before You Hit Send

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Before You Hit Send

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

Love & Respect

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

The Love and Respect Experience

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

Love & Respect

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Before You Hit Send

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

Love & Respect

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

Respectfully Yours

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

Before You Hit Send

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

Building Blocks

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Love & Respect Podcast

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

Respectfully Yours

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Love & Respect

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Building Blocks

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

The Love and Respect Experience

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

Respectfully Yours

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

The Love and Respect Experience

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

Love & Respect Podcast

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

Love & Respect Podcast

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

Before You Hit Send

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

The Love and Respect Experience

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

Before You Hit Send

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

The Love and Respect Experience

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

Love & Respect in the Family

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

Building Blocks

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Love & Respect in the Family

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

Love & Respect

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

The Language of Love & Respect Book

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

The Love and Respect Experience

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

The Love and Respect Experience

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

Love & Respect

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

Building Blocks

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Building Blocks

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

The Love and Respect Experience

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

Building Blocks
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