Love & Respect Conference and 10 Week - Small Group Kit

In this set you will receive a copy of the conference DVDs and 10 comprehensive workbooks (which include a LEADER’S GUIDE section) for facilitating your small group. The “live” Love & Respect Marriage Conference has been presented to audiences all over the country for the last 20 years and is now available in HD on DVD for the first time! It is perfect for individuals, couples and small groups and includes (10) accompanying comprehensive workbooks. The workbook includes a fill-in-the-blank in-session guide (this will mimic what an actual conference participant is doing), comprehensive discussion questions, space for reflection, mid-week devotions, and more. The DVDs are divided into 10 sessions with introductions to each conference session from Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. *Closed Captioning for the hearing impaired

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The Love & Respect Conference

Unlock the secret to a thriving marriage

In Love & Respect, author Dr. Emerson Eggerichs introduces the concept of the Crazy Cycle, a negative communication pattern that can occur in marriages. When one partner responds in a way that feels disrespectful to the other partner, it can trigger a negative reaction, causing the cycle to continue. Learn how to break the cycle and build a stronger relationship.

To break the Crazy Cycle, Dr. Eggerichs suggests that couples need to recognize and address the underlying needs for love and respect in both partners. By showing love and respect to one another, couples can create a positive cycle of interaction and strengthen their relationship. You will learn practical tips and exercises to cultivate this positive cycle.

Through the Crazy Cycle, Love & Respect offers valuable insights into the ways that negative communication patterns can impact a marriage. By understanding and addressing these patterns, couples can build a stronger and more loving relationship.

In Love & Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs presents an alternative to the Crazy Cycle: the Energizing Cycle. This positive communication pattern starts with the wife showing respect to her husband, which makes him feel respected. In turn, the husband shows love to his wife, which makes her feel loved. This creates a positive feedback loop where both partners feel loved and respected.

By consistently showing appreciation, affection, and empathy, couples can cultivate the Energizing Cycle and build a strong and healthy relationship. Love and respect are two essential needs for both partners in a marriage, and meeting these needs can lead to greater intimacy, connection, and satisfaction in the relationship.

The Energizing Cycle offers a practical and effective way for couples to break negative communication patterns and build a more positive and fulfilling relationship. By intentionally showing love and respect to one another, couples can strengthen their bond and experience greater happiness and fulfillment in their marriage.

In Love & Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs introduces the concept of the Rewarded Cycle, where the husband demonstrates love regardless of her respect and the wife demonstrates respect regardless of his love.

But what if your husband doesn't show you love when you show him respect? What if your wife doesn't show you respect as you show her love? If you get no results from practicing Love & Respect, why bother?

The Rewarded Cycle gives you the answers to these questions. In a real sense, the Rewarded Cycle is the most important session in this course as we are called to love and respect are spouse unconditionally, unto the Lord.

The C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym stands for Closeness, Openness, Understanding, Peacemaking, Loyalty, and Esteem. This is how a husband shows love to his wife.

Each element of the C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym represents a key aspect of a healthy and fulfilling relationship. By working to develop these qualities in their marriage, couples can build a stronger and more loving relationship.

In these six areas you will learn how to spell "love" to your wife.

The C.H.A.I.R.S. acronym presented in this course gives you practical, biblical ways that will help you become more respectful women. Wives do not need a lot of coaching on being loving. It is something God built into them, and they do it naturally. However, they do need help with respect.

Providing more energy for your marriage is exactly what the C.H.A.I.R.S. acronym is all about. C.H.A.I.R.S stands for the six major values that your husband holds: Conquest, Hierarchy, Authority, Insight, Relationship, and Sexuality.

In these six area you will learn how to spell "respect" to your husband.

Love & Respect Conference and 10 Week Study

Small Group Kit

The Conference DVDS and Study

Excited yet burdened about male and female relationships, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife Sarah launched the Love & Respect Conferences in 1999. Based on over three decades of counseling as well as scientific and biblical research, this conference has given hope and new life to thousands of marriages over the last 17 years and is now available in HD on DVD for the first time, with over 6 hours of dynamic teaching on five discs! It is a great resource for your personal or counseling library. Filmed in front of a live audience this presentation is perfect for individuals, couples and small groups.

In the extensive 6+ hours of content, participants will have the opportunity to explore and find answers to three significant questions that often arise in the context of marriage:

  1. Why do we find ourselves negatively reacting to each other within the confines of marriage? This fundamental question will be thoroughly addressed through an exploration of the dynamic known as the Crazy Cycle.
  2. How can we effectively motivate our spouse and foster a positive connection? The Energizing Cycle offers valuable guidance and strategies to tackle this question.
  3. What can be done when our efforts to connect with our spouse do not yield the desired response? The Rewarded Cycle offers insights and actionable steps to navigate such situations.
Get to know...

Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.

About Love & Respect
Portrait of Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Product Quotes

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

Building Blocks

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

Building Blocks

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

Love & Respect

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

The Love and Respect Experience

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

Building Blocks

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

The Love and Respect Experience

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

Love & Respect Book

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Before You Hit Send

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

The Language of Love & Respect

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

The Love and Respect Experience

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Love & Respect

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

Love & Respect in the Family

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

Respectfully Yours

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

The Love and Respect Experience

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

The Language of Love & Respect

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

Love & Respect Book

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

Respectfully Yours

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

Love & Respect in the Family

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Building Blocks

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

Love & Respect

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Respectfully Yours

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

Respectfully Yours

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

Love & Respect

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

Love & Respect Podcast

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Love & Respect

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Love & Respect in the Family

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

The Love and Respect Experience

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

The Love and Respect Experience

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

Love & Respect

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

Before You Hit Send

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

Building Blocks

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

The Love and Respect Experience

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

Before You Hit Send

Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Respectfully Yours

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

The Love and Respect Experience

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

The Love and Respect Experience

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

The Love and Respect Experience

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

Love & Respect Podcast

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

Love & Respect

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

The Love and Respect Experience

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Love & Respect

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

The Love and Respect Experience

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

Before You Hit Send

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Love & Respect

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

The Love and Respect Experience

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

Respectfully Yours

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

Love & Respect in the Family

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

Love & Respect

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

Before You Hit Send

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

Love & Respect

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

The Language of Love & Respect Book

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

The Love and Respect Experience

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

Love & Respect Podcast

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

The Language of Love & Respect

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Building Blocks

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

The Love and Respect Experience

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

Love & Respect

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

Building Blocks

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

Love & Respect

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

Love & Respect for a Lifetime
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