Love & Respect Conference and 10 Week - Small Group Kit

In this set you will receive a copy of the conference DVDs and 10 comprehensive workbooks (which include a LEADER’S GUIDE section) for facilitating your small group. The “live” Love & Respect Marriage Conference has been presented to audiences all over the country for the last 20 years and is now available in HD on DVD for the first time! It is perfect for individuals, couples and small groups and includes (10) accompanying comprehensive workbooks. The workbook includes a fill-in-the-blank in-session guide (this will mimic what an actual conference participant is doing), comprehensive discussion questions, space for reflection, mid-week devotions, and more. The DVDs are divided into 10 sessions with introductions to each conference session from Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. *Closed Captioning for the hearing impaired

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The Love & Respect Conference

Unlock the secret to a thriving marriage

In Love & Respect, author Dr. Emerson Eggerichs introduces the concept of the Crazy Cycle, a negative communication pattern that can occur in marriages. When one partner responds in a way that feels disrespectful to the other partner, it can trigger a negative reaction, causing the cycle to continue. Learn how to break the cycle and build a stronger relationship.

To break the Crazy Cycle, Dr. Eggerichs suggests that couples need to recognize and address the underlying needs for love and respect in both partners. By showing love and respect to one another, couples can create a positive cycle of interaction and strengthen their relationship. You will learn practical tips and exercises to cultivate this positive cycle.

Through the Crazy Cycle, Love & Respect offers valuable insights into the ways that negative communication patterns can impact a marriage. By understanding and addressing these patterns, couples can build a stronger and more loving relationship.

In Love & Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs presents an alternative to the Crazy Cycle: the Energizing Cycle. This positive communication pattern starts with the wife showing respect to her husband, which makes him feel respected. In turn, the husband shows love to his wife, which makes her feel loved. This creates a positive feedback loop where both partners feel loved and respected.

By consistently showing appreciation, affection, and empathy, couples can cultivate the Energizing Cycle and build a strong and healthy relationship. Love and respect are two essential needs for both partners in a marriage, and meeting these needs can lead to greater intimacy, connection, and satisfaction in the relationship.

The Energizing Cycle offers a practical and effective way for couples to break negative communication patterns and build a more positive and fulfilling relationship. By intentionally showing love and respect to one another, couples can strengthen their bond and experience greater happiness and fulfillment in their marriage.

In Love & Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs introduces the concept of the Rewarded Cycle, where the husband demonstrates love regardless of her respect and the wife demonstrates respect regardless of his love.

But what if your husband doesn't show you love when you show him respect? What if your wife doesn't show you respect as you show her love? If you get no results from practicing Love & Respect, why bother?

The Rewarded Cycle gives you the answers to these questions. In a real sense, the Rewarded Cycle is the most important session in this course as we are called to love and respect are spouse unconditionally, unto the Lord.

The C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym stands for Closeness, Openness, Understanding, Peacemaking, Loyalty, and Esteem. This is how a husband shows love to his wife.

Each element of the C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym represents a key aspect of a healthy and fulfilling relationship. By working to develop these qualities in their marriage, couples can build a stronger and more loving relationship.

In these six areas you will learn how to spell "love" to your wife.

The C.H.A.I.R.S. acronym presented in this course gives you practical, biblical ways that will help you become more respectful women. Wives do not need a lot of coaching on being loving. It is something God built into them, and they do it naturally. However, they do need help with respect.

Providing more energy for your marriage is exactly what the C.H.A.I.R.S. acronym is all about. C.H.A.I.R.S stands for the six major values that your husband holds: Conquest, Hierarchy, Authority, Insight, Relationship, and Sexuality.

In these six area you will learn how to spell "respect" to your husband.

Love & Respect Conference and 10 Week Study

Small Group Kit

The Conference DVDS and Study

Excited yet burdened about male and female relationships, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife Sarah launched the Love & Respect Conferences in 1999. Based on over three decades of counseling as well as scientific and biblical research, this conference has given hope and new life to thousands of marriages over the last 17 years and is now available in HD on DVD for the first time, with over 6 hours of dynamic teaching on five discs! It is a great resource for your personal or counseling library. Filmed in front of a live audience this presentation is perfect for individuals, couples and small groups.

In the extensive 6+ hours of content, participants will have the opportunity to explore and find answers to three significant questions that often arise in the context of marriage:

  1. Why do we find ourselves negatively reacting to each other within the confines of marriage? This fundamental question will be thoroughly addressed through an exploration of the dynamic known as the Crazy Cycle.
  2. How can we effectively motivate our spouse and foster a positive connection? The Energizing Cycle offers valuable guidance and strategies to tackle this question.
  3. What can be done when our efforts to connect with our spouse do not yield the desired response? The Rewarded Cycle offers insights and actionable steps to navigate such situations.
Get to know...

Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.

About Love & Respect
Portrait of Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Product Quotes

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

Before You Hit Send

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

The Love and Respect Experience

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

The Love and Respect Experience

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Respectfully Yours

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

Respectfully Yours

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Love & Respect

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

The Love and Respect Experience

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

The Language of Love & Respect

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

The Love and Respect Experience

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

The Love and Respect Experience

No matter what your struggle- criticism, constant conflict, sex, money, parenting, harsh words- learning to communicate the Love and Respect way can help you make crucial changes and build the kind of relationship that God blesses.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

Building Blocks

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

The Love and Respect Experience

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

Building Blocks

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Respectfully Yours

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Your words reveal your heart.

The Love and Respect Experience

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

Love & Respect Podcast

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

Building Blocks

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

Respectfully Yours

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

The Language of Love & Respect Book

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

The Love and Respect Experience

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

Before You Hit Send

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Before You Hit Send

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Love & Respect

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

The Love and Respect Experience

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

Love & Respect

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

Love & Respect

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Building Blocks

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

Love & Respect

Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.

The Love and Respect Experience

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

Before You Hit Send

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

The Love and Respect Experience

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

Before You Hit Send

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Love & Respect

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Love & Respect

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

Love & Respect in the Family

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

Love & Respect Podcast

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Love & Respect in the Family

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

The Love and Respect Experience

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

Building Blocks

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

Love & Respect

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

The Love and Respect Experience

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

The Love and Respect Experience

God is good and wants what is best for us.

Respectfully Yours

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

Before You Hit Send

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

The Love and Respect Experience

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

Love & Respect

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Building Blocks

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

The Love and Respect Experience

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

Respectfully Yours

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

Before You Hit Send

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Building Blocks

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Love & Respect Podcast

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

The Love and Respect Experience

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

The Love and Respect Experience

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

The Love and Respect Experience

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Before You Hit Send

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

The Love and Respect Experience

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

Before You Hit Send

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

Building Blocks

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

Love & Respect Podcast

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

The Love and Respect Experience

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

Respectfully Yours

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Love & Respect

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

The Love and Respect Experience

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

Building Blocks

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

Before You Hit Send

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

The Love and Respect Experience

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Love & Respect in the Family

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

The Love and Respect Experience

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

The Love and Respect Experience

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

Respectfully Yours

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

Building Blocks
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