Motivating Your Man God’s Way: Applying One Word That Energizes Him to Love

In book one you discovered your husband’s code word. That single truth motivates your husband to serve you and even die for you. In this book, you are ready to apply this discovery. 

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Motivating Your Man God's Way

Applying One Word That Energizes Him to Love

Unveiling the Motivating Code

In book one, you made a groundbreaking discovery – your husband's code word. This profound revelation serves as a driving force, motivating your husband to serve you and even make sacrifices on your behalf. Now, as you delve into this next book, you are prepared to apply and harness the power of this discovery.

Empower Your Relationship

Dr. Eggerichs sheds light on the dynamics of communication between husbands and wives. He emphasizes that wives have their unique code, often unbeknownst to them, and they expect their husbands to decipher it. The key to motivating your husband lies in helping him understand the true intentions and messages behind your words and actions, essentially decoding your secret code. By seeking to comprehend your husband's code and implementing the principles outlined in this book, you can inspire him to better understand and respond to your own code. This process, when acted upon, will energize him to decode your messages and bring about extraordinary and amazing results.

Get to know...

Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.

About Love & Respect
Portrait of Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Product Quotes

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Building Blocks

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

Respectfully Yours

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

Respectfully Yours

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

The Language of Love & Respect

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

Love & Respect

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

God is good and wants what is best for us.

Respectfully Yours

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Love & Respect

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

Respectfully Yours

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

The Love and Respect Experience

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

The Love and Respect Experience

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Love & Respect Podcast

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

Love & Respect

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Love & Respect

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

The Love and Respect Experience

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

Love & Respect Podcast

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Love & Respect Podcast

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

Before You Hit Send

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

The Language of Love & Respect Book

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

The Love and Respect Experience

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

Building Blocks

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

The Love and Respect Experience

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

Building Blocks

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

Before You Hit Send

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

The Love and Respect Experience

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

Love & Respect

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Before You Hit Send

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Love & Respect

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

Building Blocks

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

The Love and Respect Experience

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

Building Blocks

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

The Love and Respect Experience

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

Building Blocks

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

The Love and Respect Experience

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Respectfully Yours

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

Respectfully Yours

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

The Love and Respect Experience

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

The Love and Respect Experience

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

Love & Respect

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

Love & Respect

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Love & Respect

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

Love & Respect in the Family

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Building Blocks

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

Love & Respect

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

The Love and Respect Experience

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

Love & Respect

We are equal but we are not the same.

Building Blocks

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Love & Respect in the Family

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

No matter what your struggle- criticism, constant conflict, sex, money, parenting, harsh words- learning to communicate the Love and Respect way can help you make crucial changes and build the kind of relationship that God blesses.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Building Blocks

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

The Love and Respect Experience

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Love & Respect

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

Building Blocks

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

Love & Respect

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

Building Blocks

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

The Love and Respect Experience

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

The Language of Love & Respect Book

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

Love & Respect Book

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

The Love and Respect Experience

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Before You Hit Send

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

Love & Respect Book

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Love & Respect

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Respectfully Yours

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Building Blocks

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

The Love and Respect Experience

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

Building Blocks

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

The Love and Respect Experience

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

Building Blocks

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Love & Respect

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

Building Blocks

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

Love & Respect Podcast
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