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Marriage
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Who Are We To God And Who Is God To Us In Marriage?

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We are Saints

Realizing we are "saints" in God's view regardless of our failures in marriage (Ephesians 1:1-14).

As believers, we must understand that in God’s eyes, we are saints, holy and blameless, regardless of any marital struggles we may face. Ephesians 1:1-14 affirms our identity in Christ and His overwhelming love for us. This understanding transforms how we see ourselves and our spouse, influencing our interactions within the marriage.

For wives: Embrace Christ’s love for you, and let it empower you to respect your husband. When you see yourself as God sees you, a cherished and loved saint, it becomes easier to extend respect.

Case Example: Sarah struggled with respecting her husband, John, due to his past mistakes. However, as she meditated on Ephesians 1:1-14, she realized that just as she is a saint in God's eyes, so is John. This revelation allowed her to see him through the lens of Christ’s love, enabling her to extend respect despite his imperfections. Over time, their relationship grew stronger as respect became the foundation of their interactions.

For husbands: Embrace the honor Christ bestows upon you, and let it fuel your love for your wife. Recognizing your God-given honor helps you love your wife as Christ loves the church.

Case Example: Mark had difficulty expressing love to his wife, Lisa, because of his own insecurities. By embracing the honor that Christ bestowed upon him, as highlighted in Ephesians 1:1-14, Mark began to see himself as a capable and honored man. This newfound confidence allowed him to love Lisa more deeply, strengthening their marital bond.

  • Who we are to God: We are His beloved saints, chosen and cherished.
  • Who God is to us in marriage: He is our source of love and honor, enabling us to fulfill our roles.

Touching Christ’s Heart

Touching Christ’s heart as we show love and respect to our spouse (Ephesians 5:21; 6:7-8).

Ephesians 5:21 and 6:7-8 remind us that our interactions with our spouse are acts of worship and service to Christ. In marriage, we reflect our relationship with Him by how we love and respect each other.

For wives: When you respect your husband, you are reverencing Christ. Your respect is a direct reflection of your devotion to God.

Case Example: Emily often felt undervalued by her husband, but she decided to respect him as an act of reverence to Christ. She noticed that as she respected her husband, their relationship improved, and she felt closer to God. Her respect for her husband became a powerful testimony of her devotion to Christ.

For husbands: When you love your wife, you are loving Christ Himself. Your love is an expression of your commitment to God.

Case Example: James struggled to show love to his wife, Anna, especially during stressful times. By viewing his love for her as a way to love Christ, James found renewed motivation. His efforts to love Anna not only improved their marriage but also deepened his relationship with Christ.

  • Who we are to God: We are His faithful servants, showing our reverence through our actions.
  • Who God is to us in marriage: He is the heart we touch through our love and respect for each other.

Christ’s Peace and Word

Letting Christ’s peace and word enable us to love and respect (Colossians 3:15-19).

Colossians 3:15-19 encourages us to let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts and His word dwell richly within us. This divine peace and wisdom empower us to love and respect our spouses effectively.

For wives: Let Christ’s peace help you respect your husband. When His peace rules in your heart, respect flows naturally.

Case Example: Laura found it challenging to respect her husband, Tom, especially when conflicts arose. By allowing Christ’s peace to rule in her heart, Laura found it easier to remain calm and respectful. This peace transformed their conflicts into opportunities for growth and understanding.

For husbands: Let Christ’s word guide you to love your wife. His word provides the wisdom needed to love her deeply.

Case Example: David often felt lost on how to love his wife, Susan, effectively. Immersing himself in Christ’s word, David found practical wisdom and inspiration. By applying biblical principles, David learned to love Susan in meaningful ways, enriching their marriage.

  • Who we are to God: We are His vessels of peace and wisdom.
  • Who God is to us in marriage: He is our source of peace and guidance, enabling us to live out love and respect.

Listening to God’s Voice

Listening personally to God’s voice concerning our next step (Malachi 2:15; 1 Corinthians 7:10).

God is not silent. He speaks to us and guides us through our marital journey. Malachi 2:15 and 1 Corinthians 7:10 remind us that God desires to reveal His will to us, helping us reconcile and grow.

For both spouses: Listen for God’s voice concerning your next step. He loves and honors you by guiding your spirit and helping you find new ways to reconcile and strengthen your marriage.

Case Example: Karen and Mike were on the verge of separation, feeling lost and disconnected. They decided to pray together and seek God’s guidance. Listening to God’s voice through prayer and Scripture, they found new ways to reconcile and rebuild their relationship. Their marriage transformed as they continually sought divine guidance.

  • Who we are to God: We are His attentive followers, eager to hear His voice.
  • Who God is to us in marriage: He is our loving guide, speaking to us and revealing the path to reconciliation and growth.

By understanding who we are to God and recognizing who God is to us in marriage, we can navigate the complexities of marital life with greater faith, love, and respect. Embrace this divine perspective and let it transform your relationship, bringing you closer to each other and to Christ.

Emerson Eggerichs, Ph.D.
Author, Speaker, Pastor

Questions to Consider

  1. Reflecting on Ephesians 1:1-14, how does understanding our identity as "saints" in God's eyes transform our perception of ourselves and our spouse in marriage?
  2. In what ways can we actively demonstrate reverence to Christ through the love and respect we show to our spouse, as highlighted in Ephesians 5:21 and 6:7-8?
  3. How does allowing Christ's peace and wisdom, as mentioned in Colossians 3:15-19, guide us in resolving conflicts and fostering a deeper connection with our spouse?
  4. Considering the importance of listening for God's voice in Malachi 2:15 and 1 Corinthians 7:10, how can we cultivate a habit of seeking divine guidance to navigate challenges and strengthen our marriage?