When a Spouse Won’t Help Fix the Marriage

When a Spouse Wont Help Fix a Marriage

Photo Credit: Branden Harvey

Recently I posted a blog  about it taking two to make a marriage work and it’s not the two people you may think! We received a lot of comments on that post. Many agreed, but many disagreed saying it takes three, both spouses and God.

Lisa Shea has been leading women in how to show respect to their husbands since 2004 when she read my book “Motivating Your Man God’s Way.” She has been on staff with Love and Respect for the past three years.

Watch as Lisa shares her personal testimony that, yes, it can take two to make a marriage work.

Can you entrust your spouse’s heart to God as you do your part of Ephesians 5:33?

Can you set your sights on what is unseen as 2 Corinthians 4:18 encourages you to do?

Like Lisa says, you will never wonder “What if….?”


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9 thoughts on “When a Spouse Won’t Help Fix the Marriage

  1. Your words do offer me encouragement and hope and we have taken a dvd Love & Respect course , we have the book and it has helped somewhat but I have been so discouraged..THANK YOU FOR YOUR VIDEO!! I feel encouraged to know that others know the feeling of it taking “two to fix the marriage”. Thank you for posting this video , it is very timely for me to see right now.

  2. Thank you for you post. It gives hope, that trusting God and being obedient to Him will bless me and my family. It has been a long year, but God has been faithful day after day.

  3. Thank you for your encouragement! I am facing this very thing right now so this is just what I needed to hear. (I just wish it wasn’t so hard!)

  4. Honestly, I’ve seen testimonies of GOD alone restoring a covenant(first) marriage for people long after they “thought they gave up.” God can do the impossible and He SURE is enough for one spouse to have faith in!! No matter what they see in the physical realm- it is spiritual realm we fight battles in!

  5. Although I agree for the most part I believe a side note to women in abusive relationships would be helpful. I have counseled several women who hear these messages and then think they didn’t try hard enough and blame themselves. These women already struggle with the mind set that happens with abuse and it takes sometimes years to break that cycle and be encouraged. I believe wholeheartedly that God hates divorce, but God also hates when man is hurting His beautiful daughter. Please consider speaking at least briefly in your messages to this issue. I know we don’t want to believe abusive relationships are in the Church but the truth is they are and all of us have free will, & God does, I believe speak to these men, yet they use their free will to not listen, and in these instances the woman has to protect herself and her children and leave. I pray you hear my heart in this and in no way think I am criticizing your message, I think it’s a great message, I just feel the heart of these abused women as well.
    God’s Blessing, and in sisterly love,

    • Hi Cheryl, I hear you. My dad attempted to strangle my mother and I witnessed this when 2 1/2. My mother separated from my dad for five years. She removed herself from dad’s rage. But the story does not end there, and I talk about that elsewhere. For instance, I spoke to 12,000 students at Liberty University awhile back on this issue: The Wounded Healer. So, I am cognizant of what you voiced, and I appreciate the demeanor with which you addressed your concerns. With you, I find it ironic that some scream about abuse and do so in a verbally abusive manner. Thanks for your burden and kind appeal. Oh, the message I speak didn’t come from me. It isn’t my message. It is in Ephesians 5:33, as is 1 Peter 3:1,2. By the way, both Paul and Peter understood abuse. So, these truths remain constant no matter what but even Paul allowed in 1 Corinthians 7:10,11 for a wife to leave under certain conditions. My mom did.

  6. What about a husband that wants to make a marriage work and is being disrespected by his wife? Any books you can suggest?

    • Thanks Kathy! The Love and Respect book unpacks how a husband can make his marriage work when feeling disrespected by his wife. There are no guarantees but if there is any degree of good will in the wife then when he understands what spells love to a wife and consistently applies these, his wife will find it next to impossible to remain unresponsive.

  7. This morning I was giving in giving up on saving my marriage. After reading listening to your message, I am back to committing this to God. My husband & I are separated. I feel defeated.Divorce is the only path I keep seeing, but my heart says God is working this out. Even if I am the only one committed at this time to staying married. I “heard” give up this morning. I asked God if it was his will for me to stop believing that with His help we will heal. I asked God if he was speaking to me or if I was being influenced by the wrong powers. I was led to you blog & message. I feel God is speaking to me & telling me to continue to stand in his strength, have faith do not doubt. I have no idea on how to do this with my husband who has given up instead of being forgiving & learning better ways to communicate. I have ordered a CD of the book, and believe God is helping us even if my spouse is not helping.