The Rewarded Cycle: Part 2

Freedom and Maturity

C. The Rewarded Cycle Reveals Our Inner Freedom and _______________ of Spirit.

My_______________ is my responsibility. This reveals who I am. You do not cause me to be the way I am; you reveal the way I am.

Mark 7:21-23 For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries, deeds of coveting and wickedness, as well as deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride and foolishness. All these evil things proceed from within and defile the man.

Love and Respect Reveals

Love reveals the husband’s freedom of spirit and maturity.

Galatians 5:13-14 For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

Respect reveals the wife’s freedom of spirit and maturity. 

1 Peter 2:16-17 Act as free men, and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but [use it] as bondslaves of God. Honor all men; love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king.

1 Peter 2:18 Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable.

1 Peter 3:1-2 In the same way, you wives … respectful behavior.

Romans 12:10 … give preference to one another in honor …

1 Corinthians 12:23-24 … and those members of the body, which we deem less honorable, on these we bestow more abundant honor … But God has [so] composed the body, giving more abundant honor to that member which lacked.

Legacy and Example

D. The Rewarded Cycle Leaves a Legacy, Revealing That We Are a Good Example to Others.

Unconditional love shows the husband an example. The best thing a father can do for his children is love their mother.

1 Timothy 4:12 in … love … show yourself an example of those who believe.

Unconditional respect shows the wife an example. The best thing a mother can do for her children is respect their father.

1 Timothy 6:1-2 … regard their own … as worthy of all honor so that the name of God and our doctrine may not be spoken against … And … not be disrespectful to them because they are brethren, but let them serve them all the more, because those who partake of the benefit are believers and beloved. Teach and preach these principles.

Titus 2:5 … being subject to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored.

Winning Wisely

E. The Rewarded Cycle Reveals We Are Winning Our Spouse the Wise Way.

Unconditional respect can win your husband.

1 Peter 3:1-2 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any [of them] are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.

1 Peter 3:15-16 But sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always [being] ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence: and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.

1 Corinthians 7:16a For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband?

Unconditional love can win your wife.

Hosea 3:1 Then the Lord said to me, “Go again, love a woman who is loved by her husband, yet an adulteress, even as the Lord loves the sons of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love raisin cakes.”

1 Corinthians 7:16b Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

Answer Key

• Maturity
• Response

Testimony Time

For Better, Not Worse: A One-Sentence Success Story

Testimony Time: Several of you state briefly what you applied from the last session.

For example . . .

• I envisioned heaven and the glory that is coming at that unending first moment. The world meant less to me.
• I thought, “All I have to do is put on love and respect in my marriage and God will reward me throughout eternity. Talk about incentive!”
• I confirmed in myself that I am capable (and expected) to still love and respect my spouse unconditionally, no matter his or her response.

Marriage Is a Tool and Test*

In His parable of the sheep and the goats, Jesus teaches us to do what we do as to Him (Matthew25:31–40). Ephesians 5:22 tells wives to submit to their husbands “as to the Lord.” Ephesians 5:25 tells husbands to love their wives “just as Christ also loved the church.” Paul is teaching husbands and wives that in marriage the true believer is always conscious of Christ. Ultimately one loves or respects because of their love and reverence for Christ.

How does the idea that your marriage is a tool and test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Christ impact your behavior?

In Between You and Jesus

As a husband, you are called upon to love Christ. Periodically, your wife walks between you and Jesus. Your love for Christ should spill over onto your wife as love for her.

If you do not love your wife, what does this reveal about your relationship to Christ?

As a wife, you are called upon to reverence Christ. Periodically, your husband walks between you and Jesus. Your reverence for Christ should spill over onto your husband as respect for him.

If you are not respecting your husband, what does this reveal about your relationship to Christ?

Beyond the Shoulder of Your Spouse Stands Christ*

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ. You practice love or respect because beyond your spouse, you picture—with the eyes of faith—Jesus Christ standing there.

How does this biblical reality and imagery encourage you?

Pink and Blue Make Purple

The Bible says in Genesis 1:27, “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” In other words, both male and female reflect the image of God on earth.

Some contend that Jesus the Lover is the image of God on earth. After all, Jesus wants us to be close to Him, open to Him, understanding of Him, at peace with Him, loyal to Him, and esteeming of Him (C.O.U.P.L.E.). Some think Jesus is pink and therefore the desires and nature of women best reflect the image of God on earth.

But wait!

Christ the Lord is the conquering king, is head over all, was given all authority in heaven and earth, has all wisdom, knowledge and insight, will relate to us on His terms, and is planting a seed that will be born again into His eternal family (C.H.A.I.R.S.). Christ the Lord is blue. Christ the Lord reflects the desires and nature of men.

So to speak, Jesus the Lover is pink and Christ the Lord is blue, but when pink and blue are blended we get purple, the color of royalty, the color of God. Together husband and wife reflect Jesus the Christ, our Loving Lord!

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple! Together, as husband and wife they reflect the image of God.

For this reason, when a husband and wife marry and become one, they can and should reflect purple, the whole image of God on earth.

What do you think about this?

Discuss how this could affect you as a couple and how you come across to others.

My Response Is My Responsibility*

Suppose Sarah is the one at fault. She is being disrespectful. I have a “right” to feel hurt, angry, depressed. But if I do, I am right back in the victim mind-set again. No matter who is at fault, I can’t expect Sarah to heal my hurts or comfort me. My only real comfort will come from my Lord and trusting Him with my situation. Like anyone else, I must grasp a key Love and Respect principle and never let go: No matter how depressing or irritating my spouse might be . . .

My response is my responsibility.

Do you fully believe that your response is your responsibility? What happens when you make your spouse responsible for your response?

Immediate Application

Write down in the space below one or two things that came to mind during this session that you already know you need to begin applying or practicing this week.