How Do We Parent unto Jesus Christ?

We read in the King James version of Matthew 25:40, “And the King shall answer and say unto them, ‘Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.’” 

As followers of Christ, we believe that the incentive for serving other people goes beyond meeting that person’s need. Yes, when we give a friend a ride to the airport, bring a meal to our neighbors whose oven just broke, or fix our teenager’s lunch for them when they are running late for school, we are meeting a physical need they have. However, when we serve others in ways like these, we believe that we also touch the heart of Christ. In a majestic and mysterious way, this person is Jesus to us. We do what we do “unto” Jesus.

None of us will ever come close to doing perfectly, this “unto” Christ teaching. We all fail, even when it comes to loving and serving our own flesh and blood. However, unless and until we believe these words of Jesus (“Insasmuch as ye have done it unto one of these least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me”), the family members we deem unlovable—at least in that moment—will continue to ignite anger, hostility, and contempt from us. How marvelous that we can counter these sinful attitudes by seeing the face of Jesus in the faces of these family members. When we do, something wonderful happens. When we see the spirit of this person created in the image of God, we act and react differently.

I love Eugene Peterson’s paraphrase of our Lord’s words in Luke 9:48: “Whoever accepts this child as if the child were me, accepts me” (MSG). Indeed! Every parent can apply this precious truth. When we receive our children as God intends, we receive Jesus. When we love our children, we are loving the Lord. What a glorious kingdom principle.

This truth serves as a holy incentive to do nothing to ruin the innocent faith of a child. Jesus said, “And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me; but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world because of its stumbling blocks! For it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come; but woe to that man through whom the stumbling block comes!” (Matthew 18:5-7).

An Awesome Responsibility

What an awesome responsibility we have as parents. We must bolster faith, not undermine faith in our children. Sadly, instead of loving our children, some of us can despise our children at times. Jesus warned: “See that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that their angels in heaven continually see the face of My Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 18:10). Notice, again, how Jesus moves from the horizontal to the vertical. Jesus intends for us always to be aware of the Father and Him in the treatment of these little ones. 

Though as parents we have been given a hefty responsibility, we also possess an awesome privilege: how we treat our children is how we are treating Jesus! I have taught for many years how Ephesians 5 instructs us to love and respect our spouse “as to the Lord” (v. 22), doing so from our reverence for Jesus Christ (v. 21) and in imitation of the way Christ loves the church (v. 25). So too is this how parents are to love their children “unto” Christ! As with our love toward Jesus through our spouse, such love and reverence toward Christ through our children leads to eternal rewards (Matthew 10:42).  

So, how do we do this? According to Hebrews 12, as parents, we do what seems best for our children as best we can! For the Christian parent, we are to be Christ-conscious. What this means is that we actually do what we do as parents less toward our children and more toward the Lord. Ironically, when we think more about the Lord and less about our children, we will love our children even better! We are more thoughtful, teachable, and engaged.

G.U.I.D.E.S. 

It is here that I believe an acronym can be helpful—G.U.I.D.E.S. As parents, we pray… (and this is from my book Love and Respect in the Family)

• Lord, should I be more GIVING to meet a need in my child, or should I be less “giving” in the sense that my child needs to wait (learn to delay gratification) or earn this (work for it)?
• Lord, should I be more UNDERSTANDING of my child, or should I be less “understanding” in the sense that indulging my child’s self-pity habituates the anger or loss of heart?
• Lord, should I be more INSTRUCTING of my child, or should I be less “instructing” in the sense that my child knows what to do and is making excuses or being lazy?
• Lord, should there be more DISCIPLINING of my child, or should I be less “disciplining” in the sense that my child does not need penalizing but my giving, understanding, instructing, encouraging, or supplicating?
• Lord, should I be more ENCOURAGING of my child, or should I be less “encouraging” in the sense that my child must face the discouragement with faith and fortitude?
• Lord, should I be SUPPLICATING more for my child, or should I be less “supplicating” in the sense that my child must also pray based on Your love, purpose, and power? 

So, how do we parent unto Jesus Christ? Think less about the horizontal (think less about the unlovable, disobedient, all-consuming child leading you to pull your hair out) and more about the vertical (the One who loves you unconditionally, despite how unlovable and disobedient you, too, can be). Ask the Lord to “guide” you as you seek to love your child unto Him.