Marriage

We Cannot Insist Our Spouse Have the Same Felt Needs We Do

You Know What You’re Saying, but What Are You Communicating?

You Know What You’re Saying, but What Are You Communicating?

There are certain phrases we have been programmed to understand in a specific way whenever we hear them. For example, if someone says to us, “We need to talk,” we know there is bad news to come and we get in defensive mode.

In What Areas Is He Feeling Disrespected? Diagnosing Your Deflated Husband

In What Areas Is He Feeling Disrespected? Diagnosing Your Deflated Husband

Is your normally happy-go-lucky husband suddenly more sulky and moody? Has your typically fully engaged and intimate husband for some mysterious reason become more distant and even physically absent?

We Cannot Insist Our Spouse Have the Same Felt Needs We Do

We Cannot Insist Our Spouse Have the Same Felt Needs We Do

Do you have a specific sports team that you are outright fanatic about? Suppose you are a passionate Yankees fan whose white bedroom walls have navy blue pinstripes on them and your living room coasters have pictures of Mickey Mantle, Babe Ruth, Derek Jeter, and other Yankees greats on them.

Is Your Husband Trying to Make You Feel More Secure, but in Ways You’re Not Recognizing?

Is Your Husband Trying to Make You Feel More Secure, but in Ways You’re Not Recognizing?

A couple attended the Love and Respect Marriage Conference recently, and several weeks later the wife wrote to me to share some of the reasons why they had attended, along with her frustrations for the lack of changes she had seen in him since the conference.

Our Pink and Blue Designs Even Have Us Solving Problems Differently!

Our Pink and Blue Designs Even Have Us Solving Problems Differently!

I have spoken often about the need to understand and appreciate God’s pink and blue design of women and men, respectively, because our differences undoubtedly go well beyond the biological.

Is Your Husband Trying to Make You Feel More Secure, but in Ways You’re Not Recognizing?

Our Pink and Blue Designs Even Have Us Solving Problems Differently!

What Is the Golden Rule of Marriage?

What Is the Golden Rule of Marriage?

I've been married for 5 years now and I wanted to know what I should be doing to ensure that I'll continue to have a great marriage. I know that each relationship is different and unique, but are there any "golden rules" that we should adhere to? I guess this could also apply to relationships for those who aren't married yet. I rejoice with you over your great marriage. One piece of advice: don't try to fix what isn't broken! Keep doing what you are doing. At the same time, I applaud your desire to ensure the continuation of your great marriage.

God Joined You Together: What Does This Mean? Part 2

God Joined You Together: What Does This Mean? Part 2

In part 1, we discussed the soul-mate idea and nixed the misguided view that God has one and only one person for each of us. The idea of a soul mate distracts people from where they need to focus. First, the focus needs to be on being the right, mature person yourself. This is huge. Some look for the perfect person while they themselves have glaring imperfections but refuse to do an honest assessment of themselves. They never ask, “Why would a perfect person marry someone as imperfect as me?” But the soul-mate idea makes it easy. “This is about God gifting me with a wonderful person regardless of who I am.”

God Joined You Together: What Does This Mean? Part 1

God Joined You Together: What Does This Mean? Part 1

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.—Jesus, in Matthew 19:6. I love the attitude of so many Christ followers. Regardless of the marital bumps they say things like:"God brought us together and that is all that matters." "We know that God brought us together." "Jerry and I were married just seven months ago. He is in America and I am in India. We met over the Internet and God brought us together in the most wonderful way."

Three Goals in Dating That Lead to a Successful Marriage - Part Three: Together Motivated by Christ’s Mission

Three Goals in Dating That Lead to a Successful Marriage - Part Three: Together Motivated by Christ’s Mission

In parts one and two we discussed the importance of your own maturity, as well as the maturity of your spouse, in leading to a successful marriage. But maturity alone is not enough. What matters most is jointly using your maturity in Christ’s mission for the two of you together. At Joy and Matt’s wedding I said, “What makes the relationship you have all the more special is your commitment to a third component. You are committed to something bigger than your relationship and marriage."