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Building Blocks DVD Study - Small Group Kit
The 6 week Building Blocks DVD study features Emerson unpacking five of the life changing principles he presents at the Love and Respect marriage conference. This 6 week study is a fantastic follow up for those who have read the book or attended a conference, but also serves as a wonderful introduction to the Love and Respect message.
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Where To Buy
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Building Block DVD Sessions:
- Week 1: Pink and Blue: Not Wrong, Just Different (39 min.)
- Week 2: Hollywood or Holy Word? (25 min.)
- Week 3: 80:20 Ratio (41 min.)
- Week 4: Not Communication, but Mutual Understanding (33 min.)
- Week 5: My Response is My Responsibility (39 min.)
- Week 6: Review of the 5 Concepts (25 min.)
Building Blocks
Session Overviews
The seemingly simple statement of "I have nothing to wear" takes on a deeper significance when expressed by both a man and a woman, each with their unique interpretation. This disparity begs the question: How can two individuals utter the same words but carry entirely different intentions and emotions? The verse from Matthew 19:4 provides a profound insight into this phenomenon, reminding us of God's intentional creation of mankind as male and female. In this divine design, inherent dissimilarities exist that shape our perspectives, communication styles, and ways of processing information. Understanding and embracing these inherent differences are key to unraveling the complexities of relationships and fostering effective communication. By acknowledging and appreciating the distinct perspectives arising from our gender identities, we can navigate these intricacies with empathy, compassion, and a greater understanding of one another.
The question of "Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God's Holy Word?" invites deep introspection into the sources that influence our thoughts, beliefs, and values. In a world saturated with media and societal messages, it becomes crucial to discern the voice we prioritize. The verse from Romans 10:17 sheds light on the power of faith that stems from hearing and receiving the word of Christ. It emphasizes the significance of aligning our minds and hearts with the divine wisdom and guidance found in God's Holy Word. By intentionally seeking and absorbing the truths revealed in Scripture, we can filter out the noise of worldly influences and cultivate a stronger connection to God's transformative message. With the Word of God as our compass, we can navigate life's challenges, make decisions rooted in wisdom, and nurture a deepened relationship with our Creator.
The statement from God's Word that if we marry, we will encounter trouble raises an intriguing question: What kind of trouble do well-intentioned individuals face in marriage? The verse from 1 Corinthians 7:28 affirms that marriage itself is not sinful, but it acknowledges the reality that challenges and difficulties are an inherent part of married life. This acknowledgement prompts us to reflect on the nature of these troubles. While specific challenges may vary from couple to couple, the verse implies that even those with good intentions will inevitably encounter obstacles, conflicts, and trials along their marital journey. It serves as a reminder that relationships require effort, compromise, and constant growth. By recognizing the inevitability of such difficulties, we can approach them with resilience, empathy, and a willingness to work together to overcome obstacles, ultimately strengthening the bond between partners and nurturing a lasting and fulfilling marriage.
The importance of learning to speak and understand your spouse's language is emphasized as a pathway to achieving mutual understanding in a relationship. The verse from Matthew 12:34 provides a valuable insight into this concept, highlighting that our words reflect the thoughts and emotions that fill our hearts. When we take the time to truly listen and understand our partner's unique way of expressing themselves, we gain a deeper understanding of their inner world. By becoming attuned to their communication style, needs, and desires, we can bridge the gap between us and cultivate a sense of empathy and connection. When both partners make a sincere effort to communicate in a way that resonates with their spouse, they create an environment conducive to mutual understanding and emotional intimacy. This active pursuit of understanding, combined with open and compassionate communication, paves the way for a harmonious and fulfilling relationship.
Understanding that no one has the power to dictate our reactions and emotions is a transformative realization that brings forth power and freedom in our lives. The verse from Proverbs 21:23 reinforces this concept, emphasizing the importance of guarding our words and actions to protect our inner well-being. It implies that by exercising control over our speech and behaviors, we can shield our souls from unnecessary troubles.
This wisdom speaks to the fundamental truth that our reactions are ultimately our own choices. Despite external circumstances or the actions of others, we have the ability to determine how we respond. Recognizing this empowers us to take ownership of our emotions, thoughts, and actions. It liberates us from being at the mercy of external factors and grants us the agency to choose love, understanding, and grace in the face of challenges.
By embracing this understanding, we can cultivate emotional resilience, maintain inner peace, and foster healthier relationships. Instead of being reactive, we can respond thoughtfully and intentionally, considering the impact of our words and actions. This shift in perspective allows us to break free from the cycle of negativity, conflict, and emotional turmoil. Ultimately, it enables us to live a more fulfilling and purposeful life, guided by wisdom and the understanding that our choices shape our experiences.
The bonus insights provided for the five catch phrases in Building Blocks Vol. 1 offer valuable additional understanding and application of the teachings. The verse from Matthew 25:21, "His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness,'" serves as a foundation for these insights.
This verse conveys the message of commendation and reward for faithfulness and stewardship. It reminds us of the importance of being faithful and responsible in the areas entrusted to us. The bonus insights in Building Blocks Vol. 1 expand on this principle, encouraging individuals to apply the teachings from the catch phrases in their own lives and relationships.
By embracing and implementing these insights, participants have the opportunity to demonstrate faithfulness, wisdom, and growth in their actions and interactions. They are reminded of the potential for greater responsibilities and blessings that come from being faithful in the smaller aspects of life. Ultimately, these bonus insights serve as a reminder that our choices and faithfulness in everyday matters have the potential to shape our future and lead to a deep sense of joy and fulfillment.
Through the lens of the verse from Matthew 25:21, participants are encouraged to apply the teachings, make wise choices, and live in a manner that reflects their commitment to being faithful and responsible stewards. By doing so, they can experience the joy and fulfillment that come from aligning their lives with God's principles and purposes.
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The Building Blocks Study
Each DVD session begins with Emerson giving a 10-20 minute overview of the concept, followed by a short discussion time. Emerson then gives a 10-20 minute teaching on how to apply the concept to each of the 3 Love and Respect cycles, followed by more discussion prompted by the study guide questions. This 6 week study is a fantastic follow up for those who have read the book or attended a conference, but also serves as a wonderful introduction to the Love and Respect message.
- Our Couple's Kit includes: The DVD's containing all 6 sessions, 2 Study Guides and 1 of our keepsake "Building Blocks"
- Our Small Group Kit includes: The DVD's containing all 6 sessions, 12 Study Guides and 1 of our keepsake "Building Blocks"
- Additional Study Guides are available as singles or in packages of 10. Each person participating will need a Study Guide.
Insights Explored in Building Blocks
In these sessions, the differences between men and women are explored, emphasizing that despite saying the same thing, they may mean something entirely different. The importance of aligning our beliefs with God's Word rather than societal influences like Hollywood is highlighted. The understanding that trouble can be expected in marriages, even for well-intentioned individuals, is discussed. The significance of speaking and comprehending one another's language for mutual understanding is emphasized. The power of personal choice and the freedom that comes with it is examined. Bonus insights are provided for the five catch phrases covered in Building Blocks Vol. 1, reinforcing the idea of being faithful in small things to experience greater blessings. Throughout these sessions, relevant verses from the Bible are referenced to support and provide guidance.
Read What Others Are Saying About Building Blocks!
The love and respect course brought something nice in our relationship, which we did not even expect, because we did not know if we would hear anything new. I was cheering for the course because when I read the description I instinctively felt that we needed it. Although I had to start encouraging my husband to participate in the beginning, I must admit that during the course he became a major initiator of discussions and "homework", which enthused me and pleasantly surprised me. I noticed how strongly the content spoke to my husband and how it opened his heart, and helped him to express things he either did not know or know how to say it. We experienced each meeting like unwrapping a delicious candy that we enjoyed and savored ...The meetings were very pleasant, nothing intrusive, filled with a dice [sic] of humor and the richness of real experiences.
…I have been thinking about doing something for our marriage for some time, but my husband was not in favor. He was always bothered by the method—one on one, and of course, the financial aspect. He decided to try Building Blocks primarily because the course was practically free. After five years this was our first planned and regular time away doing something for the two of us. At first, I was a bit skeptical about the religious aspect, since my husband has practically no experience or a negative attitude towards religion. But it turned out to be completely acceptable, probably because you do not reinforce it…My husband rarely wanted to think about these things—he thought it was meaningless. He heard things for the first time in Building Blocks and discovered things he never talked about before. Certain truths really inspired him and consequently, me too. We both remember lesson five: My Response is My Responsibility. It made the greatest impression on us. In fact, I think I will write this on the wall in the bedroom! Perhaps the most valuable insight for both is the fact that we are not alone in our troubles and that others have very similar challenges…
...When I look back, it seems to me that the individual lessons were so created that the tension increases with each lesson. It was like a good criminal novel. I found myself in every lesson. Although I had already heard certain content, I experienced them in a completely different way. Maybe more mature. Then came the fifth lesson: My Response is My Responsibility. BAM! The content hit me like "a-ton-of-bricks”, as if it was written for me personally. This lesson exposed my biggest challenge, which has crippled me for many years. Of course, this does not mean my problem with wrong responses will be solved overnight. If I rely on God's Word and ask for the help from the Holy Spirit then it will be easier.
This seminar in a small group format is a great idea where conversations intertwine...supported by video material and personal reflections. This is very effective in my opinion. I was personally impacted by the lesson “The 80:20 Ratio”, and especially the fifth lesson, "My Response is My Responsibility." In between sessions I tried to put into practice on the “open sea” what we were learning. It works! Of course, this is not a magic wand, but a very effective tool that actually demonstrates its usefulness only through practice.
Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.
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Product Quotes
Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.
Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)
Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.
“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“
When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.
Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.
No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.
Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.
Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.
Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?
Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)
Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.
Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.
Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.
We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.
Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.
The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.
If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.
Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.
Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.
Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.
I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson
Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.
The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.
When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.
You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”
Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.
In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.
We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.
Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?
As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.
We are worth Jesus to the Father.
The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.
Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.
Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.
Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.
God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.
Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.
Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.
Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?
So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”
It is hard to be negative while being thankful.
It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.
A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.
Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.
When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.
We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”
Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.
Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?
Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.
When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.
Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.
Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.
Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.
She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.
Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.
Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.
It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.
Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.
Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.
Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?
When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.
Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.
When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.
[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.
We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.
Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.
Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.
Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.
When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.
We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.
Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.
When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.
Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)
We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.
When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.
A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.
Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.
Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.
Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.
No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.
To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.
Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.
Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.
Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.
Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?
Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.
With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.
His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.
Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.
When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.
God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!
The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).
Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).
Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.
Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)
God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.
Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.
The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.
When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)
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