Crazy Cycle CD (10 Pack)

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

We are equal but we are not the same.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

No matter what your struggle- criticism, constant conflict, sex, money, parenting, harsh words- learning to communicate the Love and Respect way can help you make crucial changes and build the kind of relationship that God blesses.

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.