Crazy Cycle CD (10 Pack)

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

Your words reveal your heart.

Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.