Testimonials

My small group of twenty something women just finished week three of TIP last night, and I am LOVING it! The content is obviously great (way to relate to and entertain a group of easily jaded/skeptical/seen-it-all/overwhelmed twentysomethings!), the concepts are something we’re all wrestling through together, but the very best part is Joy’s encouragement to be multigenerational. We have about six older women who’ve rotated through our weekly gatherings, and that element is making this one of the BEST things I’ve ever been a part of! It’s really amazing. Having these women—from a woman who’s been married more than 50 years to a fiftysomething never-been-married woman to thirty- and fortysomething women with kids—listen, share their hearts and experiences, share their own illuminations and wrestle with the concepts and God’s truth alongside my girls is SO DARN AMAZING. For one, it takes pressure off me as the leader to ‘have all the answers’ (I’m 29 and have been married for six years... I barely know what I’m doing myself!). And the fact that these women from different places in life are getting to know one other, open up to each other, ugh.... there. just. aren’t. words.

"Hello! thank you so much for the love and respect academy two week plan. To say it has been game changing is an understatement.

Just one error I found with the 60 sec test. It didn’t take 60 sec.... I didn’t even have time to count before my husband said “really? What are they?” Not only that, the tone and demeanor changed and softened in a split second. I had to stop myself from laughing out loud and dropping my jaw on how accurate and simple it was to connect with and create an honoring moment for my husband. I have since turned it into a weekly occurrence when we meet to plan our week. And I can tell that he is (not so patiently) waiting for this moment during our time together.

Thank you for all you continue to do. I am also reading Love & Respect In The Family right now and it is both convicting and encouraging at the exact same time. Thank you for the truth you share. It makes all the difference for this family."

"Well a miracle happened! I read the Love and Respect book entirely last week...As we went thru the (Love and Respect) DVDs I could feel a gentle release of the pain that gripped our marriage for 22 years. Rather than a “light-bulb” moment, it’s been more of a dimmer switch getting brighter with the hope we’ll be OK now that we have some tools for an even better marriage. A softening has occurred…We are already teaching the kids some of the principles and have decided to re-watch the DVDs with the kids. We believe this can help them from many of the pitfalls we fell for and we can all “practice” Love and Respect on each other…I realize these principles were in the Bible all along; however we missed it!... You have a way of delivering the message in such spot on accuracy wrapped in humor, so we can swallow it better. Makes me think you’re the “Mary Poppins of Marriage" with your “spoonful of humor to make the painful truth go down!”"

I have to admit that I am not great at either the love or respect talk!  So humbling.  And yet, this book really gave me incentive to try to be better, with concrete examples that I desperately needed.  I love my two teenage sons, and I've yearned to be a good mother to them, but wasn't sure how.  This book told me how, and is changing my relationships with them.  It is slow, because I do not change easily, but I am persevering, and better is BETTER!

My husband and I just attended your conference…, which we greatly enjoyed. Today is also our precious daughter [s]… birthday and I wanted you to know that she would not be here if not for God’s intervention in our lives through your Love and Respect book 9 years ago which saved our marriage.…I had filed for divorce and moved thousands of miles away to be near my family and started my dream job. I was not just one foot out the door, I was entirely out of the door after years and years of struggling . After 8 years of marriage, I was without hope and hated my husband. We had been to counseling…had even been to several Christian family conferences. However, some of the sin strongholds… had nearly put the nail in the coffin of our marriage. During that year, my husband deployed…, which was according to him, the darkest place on earth where hopelessness and temptation have a stronghold. He had other deployments and after each one he came back more distant and changed. However, this deployment was different. My husband met his best friend and brother in Christ and they began bible study in that dark place. My husband came across your book at the library there (a God thing of course) and began to pursue me relentlessly even from thousands of miles away. It took a long time for me to reach the point where I was at and it took a true miracle to soften my hardened heart. He started with apologies to me and others in our lives he had hurt. Then he began writing me love letters, telling my how amazing and irreplaceable I was. He kept telling me that he was not doing this to win me back, but he was doing this because of the commitment he made to God to be my husband, which had nothing to do with the way I treated him. He sent me flowers, drawings and gifts. For weeks I would not take his phone calls except so he could talk to our young son because I was so angry and afraid to love. I was cruel, and skeptical and he kept loving me unconditionally in spite of this. I will never be able to explain the transformation in my willingness to reconcile and see it as a miracle. One day I saw him as my enemy and the next, I was completely in love with him again and saw him as my warrior, hero, and resolute protector. When people ask me how we could reconcile, I tell them without hesitation that it was God and your book that saved our marriage. When he returned, we canceled the divorce proceedings and reconciled. Shortly thereafter we conceived our little girl. We now have a Godly marriage and are much stronger than ever. Thank you so much for writing this book and saving marriages. There is a special place in our hearts for military families and I pray that the Love and Respect message continues to make its way to bible studies and libraries in the darkest corners of the world.

Our home group is predominantly married with teens, but there are some divorced and singles and retired. What we liked about TIP is that it wasn’t the usual fill-in-the-blank video presentation.

"I cannot thank you enough for sharing the wisdom and insight you have been blessed with. I have been married [for a long time], and it has been a roller coaster. For the last [few] years, our marriage was quiet. We just tolerated each other…[Now] [i]nstead of taking the defense, and jumping on the crazy cycle, I've begun to recognize the signs and symptoms of the crazy cycle and it has changed how I respond. I have seen a change in my husband and it’s amazing."

The Illumination Project does a wonderful job making it clear that relationships are worth it, there is a way for them to work, and they don’t have to fail if both people know how to avoid pitfalls like the crazy cycle. And it was especially great knowing that it was all backed up by Biblical principles. There is a way that God intended for relationships to work, and it’s not even all that difficult to understand! It was incredibly encouraging, even for a single guy like me.

Joy and her father are actually funny. That’s rare, and it makes what they say genuinely entertaining. I loudly applaud their insightful, personal, and humorous approach to the subject of singleness, dating and marriage for the next generation. There simply isn’t another study that artfully combines research, scripture, personal stories, and music -- not to mention a few wacky videos that could ruin Dr. Eggerichs’ credibility. Having a teenage daughter of my own, I am hugely grateful Joy created this project and believe it will help the next generation talk about marriage and it’s purpose right now, instead of with a divorce lawyer 20 years from now.

"The turnaround in our marriage is a miracle and is a profound event in my life…we have had hard discussions since I finished the (Love & Respect) book and since we attended the conference, but not one has turned into an argument. We have had disagreements, but not disconnection. Every hard discussion has resulted in a deeper level of intimacy in our marriage. I never thought this was possible. God is able to do immeasurably more than we ever ask or imagine."

I hope it opened up eyes to the way that authority can truly speak into your life as a younger person and how to receive what that generation has to give us. Not only that, but the example of seeing a daughter listening to her father is beautiful. A lot of people have father issues or mother issues, but there are a lot of mentors or older people in the church who are looking to pour in, and I think the younger generation just needs to allow them. And not only allow them, but maybe encourage them when the older generation is shy or doesn’t think that they can.

I just appreciate so much Joy’s heart and her father’s heart and their ability to communicate generationally—even cover that generational gap—and draw together themes that are timeless but need to be communicated in a way that is going to speak to an audience that is already cynical, already skeptical.