Testimonials

I would like to take a moment and thank you for your wonderful book – Love and Respect. I don’t even remember how I came across it – but it is so refreshing to read the truth regarding the intricacies of the relationship between husband and wife, as God designed them to be. I just turned 69 years old – and am very happily married to my husband (of nearly 49 years – we were married in 1972). We have 6 children and 24 grandchildren. I have always had an interest in knowing how to create an atmosphere where love and tenderness not only exist, but continue to grow as time goes on. I have read many books over the years (made plenty of mistakes) – but that was always the goal. It is appalling to me to watch what the women’s movement has done to marriages and families. The lack of respect for men shocks me. I will never forget the day I went into a CVS store for a Father’s Day card. I opened a card that read: “This card is anatomically correct – we didn’t give him any brains.”So I appreciate your fearlessness in teaching the truth. I learned things in your book that no one else (in books I had read) had ever explained. For instance – the shoulder to shoulder concept – about how men don’t really need to have a lot of conversation to enjoy time with their wives. How nice to know that. I have decided that I am going to give your book for wedding gifts. It will cut the learning curve down considerably for those that are just beginning their lives together – and hopefully save them some mistakes along the way. May God Bless you for all you do.

"I had been praying for a miracle in my marriage…a big one...but felt all hope was lost. I began to make plans on picking up the pieces alone. Then we attended the Love and Respect conference. (My husband) slept in the car on the way to the meeting and I thought "I wasted $50 we don't have.” (But) something happened when you got up and started speaking. My husband woke up. When we left…he apologized for not being a good husband and wants to make things better. I apologized to him for my attitudes. Things are starting to turn around. Thank you and please keep us in your prayers."

My wife and I attended a Conference Live In-Person a few years back and it changed our marriage. We were frustrated, as this is our second marriage each,… we so much wanted to glorify God but we seemed to be doing so much wrong. We walked out during a break, looked up at the sky and simultaneously, shouted "I get it!".  Our marriage has been tremendous ever since (sure we have crazy cycles, but they are so rare & short lived nowadays and truly lead to resolve). In fact, the Holy Sprit moved upon my wife one Sunday morning and after following the right steps we became Pre-marriage Mentors at our church for the past 3 years now - we LOVE it. We are looking forward to going through the Conference again and having this material at our fingertips for reference. "My Response is my Responsibility" has been tremendously helpful not only for our marriage but in so many other areas of our life.

This freed me to realize I was meeting a need that he had equal to my need for love.

One thing that I just love about The Illumination Project, what makes it unique, is that you have these two different generations being represented in Emerson and Joy. With Emerson, you have his wisdom and years of writing on this stuff and traveling and counseling couples through marriage, and so you have his passion and his truth. But on the other hand, you have Joy representing the younger crowd, and she makes it relevant and brings her passion and charisma, and the real-life context that we young people are up against. And that synergetic relationship working together is really a phenomenal dynamic to watch. Not to mention: People want to talk about this. They want to talk about love and romance and dating and marriage.

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"You have given voice to what I have been feeling over the last 15 years of our marriage. Frustrated at not being able to verbalize my feelings, I withdrew and stonewalled until I would blow up. Your simple truths rang true with my heart..."

I’ve seen the Crazy Cycle in my past, I’ve seen it in my own relationships, and I saw it in my parents’ relationship. I could never put my finger on it, though, and it scared me…Learning about this makes me so hopeful—hopeful that perhaps I won’t find myself in a relationship that ends up drifting away.

"A wonderful change in our relationship began and we both tried to be understanding of each other. Your course just fit in perfectly and filled in the missing pieces…We are to respect our differences. Laughter and peace has come into our home again. Thank you! (My husband) and I had several opportunities to share the principles of Love and Respect with several other Christian couples and of how God was working in our lives and marriage…Already we have had some couples into our home and shared our experience and then we sit and play your CD and end it by praying a prayer of forgiveness and healing for our relationships."

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Starting this small group has allowed us to examine what our own church has on these subjects and, surprisingly enough, this message has been in our literature for decades. But [TIP] brought it into a modern, practical light.

I just finished Mother & Son and have learned so much. I have three sons...and have been struggling communicating with my oldest. A friend at church had recommended your book and it couldn’t have come at the more perfect time. For me it was easy and I get it now! Practically every chapter I was shaking my head in agreement. I think about things before I say them and try to explain in the most respectful tone without raising my voice. The biggest win for me was the first time I tried Respect Talk with my oldest son. We had gotten into an argument over the weekend and it was bothering me. A few days later I went into his room before bed and had apologized for my actions and how we are a lot alike and he is growing into a respectful and honorable young man. He grinned and I said good night and walked out. I went back into bed and within 5 minutes he came into our room to give us a hug, kiss, say good night and that he loved us! I had the biggest smile on my face. For me, this is easy and I get it now. I didn’t understand the blue way of thinking and it is something I am working on every day now. Thank you!

"After 13 years I can finally say our marriage is truly like a dream. It is unbelievable how tender and fun and honest and caring and loving and joyful and playful and kind and intimate and generous and forgiving and sincere and giving and wonderful our marriage is. It is a MIRACLE. And only with God’s guidance in His Word and from your Love and Respect series has this been possible."

I have two boys...  I have recently read and listened to this book. I feel like this book has opened my eyes to how much I fail in my conversations with them... The conversations in your book are so foreign to me with my boys. I am at the point now where I can see where I did not respond with respect, now I need to get the vocabulary burned into my brain! It is going to be a process of changing my vocabulary, but I am committed to the long haul! I know it is what my young men need… The biggest mindset change has been with me focusing on spending shoulder to shoulder time with them and watching them doing things...  I now have the freedom to just do stuff with them and not have to talk. This last weekend I was home alone with my [son]. We spent a lot of time talking about whatever was on his mind (he loves to talk), going for walks, playing things he enjoys, and working outside. It was a lot of shoulder to shoulder time. I cannot tell you how many times he said that he just loves spending time with me. This is the same kid that a week ago said that I don't act like I like him. On one walk he said that he was going to stay with me so he could protect me. Later in the weekend I said that I was glad he was with me and that I wasn't alone because I felt safer having him there. He was so energized by that.