Testimonials

"I am one of five kids, and since I can remember my parents have constantly been fighting and bitter towards each other…It was finally to the breaking point…We no longer cared what happened, as long as the fighting and the yelling and the hatred and the bitterness stopped. I have spared you the details, but to kids growing up in a home like that, it was hell…About a year ago, after going to countless seminars, numerous marriage counselors, and who knows how many books, they discovered the Love & Respect series. To the rest of us it was just another stab in the dark and the seemingly obvious expectation of a divorce was still there. When my parents did a complete 180-degree turn around, it was very difficult not to be still in denial and hurt and expect it not to last too long. It was definitely something I would call, without any doubt, a miracle. Something that would have been impossible had it not been for God's grace and compassion. When they went from twenty-two years of hating each other, to holding hands, going out on dates and cuddling overnight, I could not believe it. They are now a very happy couple and plan on re-doing their wedding vows for their twenty-fifth anniversary. It saved our family (and) it saved our lives."

For one, as an artist, I really appreciate the thoughtfulness put into the design elements of The Illumination Project. Often design is left behind in the pragmatic work of content makers… leaving the program feeling irrelevantly dated in its communication. We are a visually driven culture, and design plays a vital role in the relaying of ideas and meaning. The Illumination Project not only brings us into content that we so desperately need to digest, but it gives it to us with a visual ‘spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down.’ Bravo.

"Thank you so much for the 15-day plan...I really was happy to have a review of the material and the ability to print it out and apply it over and over! I intend to keep reading it from time to time and I am sure the application will be ongoing in my marriage. What stood out to me in the 15-day plan:  awareness of the differences in our felt needs, the importance of the tone used in conversation, avoiding contempt, expressing positive regard for the person, and the significance of giving your spouse what they need but do not deserve."

"My own experiences along with your advice have resulted in a miracle in my life. I enjoy my husband as I did when we were courting (more, even). Our sex life has improved 100% as I find respecting my husband a turn-on (believe it or not). Today, he gets more than enough respect (and sex) and I get all the love and protection that I could ever want. There is now great joy in my marriage thanks to your help."

"I have been implementing each day’s challenge and have been truly blessed. I’ve really become aware of how quickly our tone is sour when we are tired or frustrated and I’ve really been able to catch myself before responding disrespectfully. My husband is more outwardly verbal and irritable but I had no idea how much I show contempt or feel it in reacting to him. I feel so great practicing responding with kindness in areas I used to find myself huffing even on the inside. It’s very freeing to not be caught in that cycle. I’ve also been practicing being cheerful after coming home from work. We honestly have no clue how negative we are in a day until we start to study our own actions. Thank you so much. I definitely needed this refresher course in the Love and Respect. I had passed my book on to another couple years ago. I miss having my own copy. I’m so glad you made this available."

A mother and preschool director wrote: We have four children, two boys and two girls. Our boys are in the middle and sixteen months apart. Our boys were arguing, bickering, and annoying each other on purpose around ages nine and ten... I would remind them to “be nice” or “show kindness,” and their actions would change for the moment, but it didn’t reach their hearts. As I applied the respect principle to them and said things such as “You aren’t showing your brother respect when you ______________.” Or “You show your friends respect, so you need to extend that same respect to your brother.” It was life-changing; it spoke to their hearts. Don’t get me wrong, they still have disagreements at thirteen and fourteen, but they are quick to resolve them, and they are best friends.

Through your book I realized I have never showed my sons (ages 19 and 21) respect. They know I love them, but I'm sure they never felt respected. I'm convinced my words (and actions) made them feel controlled and belittled, which created a wall between us. I'm learning how to honor my sons with respect (and space) and in return I'm receiving the love I crave. I try regularly to tell my sons something I respect about them or something that makes me proud. It is transforming our relationships...I have recommended this book to all my friends with sons. I even purchased it for one friend! This book is worth the time and the money for Moms to learn how to relate with their sons in the way that is most meaningful to them.

Love this book! My husband & I just started this devotional book together & we both love it so far!!!! It is really putting the husband & wives as equals & teaching you how to truly love & respect your spouse.

My wife and I facilitate L&R classes and always recommend this. We continue to go back through it once we finish it and we use it daily – not weekly. It never gets old. Each devotion is a great reminder.

"We were constantly on the Crazy cycle...but I started to act on some of your suggestions. I was amazed at the changes in our marriage."

My wife and I thoroughly enjoyed the conference at Calvary in Charlotte. We went more than a year ago in Winston Salem when I had just moved back into the house after a 6-month separation. Neither my wife nor I cheated on each other. However, we got caught on the Crazy Cycle for 13 years, could not identify it, and thus, could not get off of it. We were in DEEP! At the conference two weeks ago, I rated our marriage at a '5' of '7'. That is pretty good considering we were at a '0' in Winston. In Winston Salem, I must say that I really did not hear anything of Saturday's teaching on the Energizing Cycle because all I could do was replay in my mind the Crazy Cycle material from the night before. We were so undone that the Energizing Cycle was not even applicable. We had not been physically intimate for almost two years. The biggest step for us was to start seeing each other as 'good-willed' people again. This time it was different.Because God has so moved in our marriage and our intimacy is back, the Energizing Cycle was very applicable, and I listened to Saturday's material very intently.I would suggest multiple conferences for everyone, but especially for couples who go to the first one in real crisis. Applying the Crazy Cycle insights got us from a '0' to a '5'. Now our prayers are that we will be a '7' very soon.

The Respectfully Yours study was amazing!  I am so thankful for the teaching and YES it has helped me!  I didn’t realize the importance of respect for men.  It has helped me become more aware of when I am being disrespectful and how to read the response in the men in my life.  I am divorced but am still so glad I took the class.  It has helped me with other men in my life, like my boss.