Testimonials

My husband and I just attended your conference…, which we greatly enjoyed. Today is also our precious daughter [s]… birthday and I wanted you to know that she would not be here if not for God’s intervention in our lives through your Love and Respect book 9 years ago which saved our marriage.…I had filed for divorce and moved thousands of miles away to be near my family and started my dream job. I was not just one foot out the door, I was entirely out of the door after years and years of struggling . After 8 years of marriage, I was without hope and hated my husband. We had been to counseling…had even been to several Christian family conferences. However, some of the sin strongholds… had nearly put the nail in the coffin of our marriage. During that year, my husband deployed…, which was according to him, the darkest place on earth where hopelessness and temptation have a stronghold. He had other deployments and after each one he came back more distant and changed. However, this deployment was different. My husband met his best friend and brother in Christ and they began bible study in that dark place. My husband came across your book at the library there (a God thing of course) and began to pursue me relentlessly even from thousands of miles away. It took a long time for me to reach the point where I was at and it took a true miracle to soften my hardened heart. He started with apologies to me and others in our lives he had hurt. Then he began writing me love letters, telling my how amazing and irreplaceable I was. He kept telling me that he was not doing this to win me back, but he was doing this because of the commitment he made to God to be my husband, which had nothing to do with the way I treated him. He sent me flowers, drawings and gifts. For weeks I would not take his phone calls except so he could talk to our young son because I was so angry and afraid to love. I was cruel, and skeptical and he kept loving me unconditionally in spite of this. I will never be able to explain the transformation in my willingness to reconcile and see it as a miracle. One day I saw him as my enemy and the next, I was completely in love with him again and saw him as my warrior, hero, and resolute protector. When people ask me how we could reconcile, I tell them without hesitation that it was God and your book that saved our marriage. When he returned, we canceled the divorce proceedings and reconciled. Shortly thereafter we conceived our little girl. We now have a Godly marriage and are much stronger than ever. Thank you so much for writing this book and saving marriages. There is a special place in our hearts for military families and I pray that the Love and Respect message continues to make its way to bible studies and libraries in the darkest corners of the world.

For one, as an artist, I really appreciate the thoughtfulness put into the design elements of The Illumination Project. Often design is left behind in the pragmatic work of content makers… leaving the program feeling irrelevantly dated in its communication. We are a visually driven culture, and design plays a vital role in the relaying of ideas and meaning. The Illumination Project not only brings us into content that we so desperately need to digest, but it gives it to us with a visual ‘spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down.’ Bravo.

…I have been thinking about doing something for our marriage for some time, but my husband was not in favor. He was always bothered by the method—one on one, and of course, the financial aspect. He decided to try Building Blocks primarily because the course was practically free. After five years this was our first planned and regular time away doing something for the two of us.  At first, I was a bit skeptical about the religious aspect, since my husband has practically no experience or a negative attitude towards religion. But it turned out to be completely acceptable, probably because you do not reinforce it…My husband rarely wanted to think about these things—he thought it was meaningless. He heard things for the first time in Building Blocks and discovered things he never talked about before. Certain truths really inspired him and consequently, me too. We both remember lesson five: My Response is My Responsibility. It made the greatest impression on us. In fact, I think I will write this on the wall in the bedroom! Perhaps the most valuable insight for both is the fact that we are not alone in our troubles and that others have very similar challenges…

I have been elevated to a place in my home that I used to fight for... not a doormat, but a welcome mat to the power of God in my marriage!

I’m a widower, so I guess you could say that I’ve been wounded. But I want to put myself out there and find love again, and going through this series is helping me with that.  Learning about the Crazy Cycle and the core reality of our most basic needs has been truly illuminating as I move forward in this new season of life.

"Hello! thank you so much for the love and respect academy two week plan. To say it has been game changing is an understatement.

Just one error I found with the 60 sec test. It didn’t take 60 sec.... I didn’t even have time to count before my husband said “really? What are they?” Not only that, the tone and demeanor changed and softened in a split second. I had to stop myself from laughing out loud and dropping my jaw on how accurate and simple it was to connect with and create an honoring moment for my husband. I have since turned it into a weekly occurrence when we meet to plan our week. And I can tell that he is (not so patiently) waiting for this moment during our time together.

Thank you for all you continue to do. I am also reading Love & Respect In The Family right now and it is both convicting and encouraging at the exact same time. Thank you for the truth you share. It makes all the difference for this family."

I’ve seen the Crazy Cycle in my past, I’ve seen it in my own relationships, and I saw it in my parents’ relationship. I could never put my finger on it, though, and it scared me…Learning about this makes me so hopeful—hopeful that perhaps I won’t find myself in a relationship that ends up drifting away.

"My husband and I attended the Love and Respect Conference. We have been married for 31 years; committed, but not always happy. As we chaotically plunged through our 40's, we created a lot of devastation in our relationship. For some years, my husband did not say "I love you."... He refused to talk about anything of significance. Emotionally, he had shut down and consequently, did not try to connect with me in any way. For a long time, I chafed under this treatment…This is how we were when we came to the conference. I was actually afraid that he would be more annoyed than anything else. BUT...As a wonderful, undeserved gift from the Father who so incredibly bestows good things on his children, God opened my husband's heart… he became a changed man. A man who loves me, adores me, apologizes to me quickly…and talks to me all the time. Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Thank you for being willing to share the message of love and respect across our nation. I am forever grateful."

Thank you for teaching me about respect and what it truly means in my life. You’ve given me the courage to be respectful to those around me, even when they get on my nerves. You’ve given me the tools to have confidence and through Christ all things are possible. I can take that home and be respectful toward my mother and to lay the foundation so that someday my mom will also know Christ. I opened myself up in ways that have been laid on my heart for some time. I can begin again.

"A wonderful change in our relationship began and we both tried to be understanding of each other. Your course just fit in perfectly and filled in the missing pieces…We are to respect our differences. Laughter and peace has come into our home again. Thank you! (My husband) and I had several opportunities to share the principles of Love and Respect with several other Christian couples and of how God was working in our lives and marriage…Already we have had some couples into our home and shared our experience and then we sit and play your CD and end it by praying a prayer of forgiveness and healing for our relationships."

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Every session resonated with me on many levels. Not being very religious person it has brought me closer to God's Word and how to live my life not for my spouse but for HIM. For years I thought marriage was all about love but could not understand how my spouse could treat [me] that way if she loves me. I have now realized what that empty feeling in my stomach was. It was RESPECT for me and LOVE for her.  Mind blown. It's not about right and wrong but mutual understanding. Wish I had watched this my spouse 6 months [ago] as we probably would not be separated if we saw the videos together.

Personally, God has laid on my heart to do what I can to attract every woman in our church to accept the invitation to attend Respectfully Yours. This includes ALL women. Every woman has a man or men in her life that she can positively influence and encourage so that God's intentions for them as men are sought and desired. Too often, we hear about the church being woman heavy in spearheading and the doing. That's our nature, I know. But, we must do what we can to change the trajectory we are on that has resulted from decades of emasculation. Mothers, wives, sisters, grandmothers, aunts, female employees and employers, must begin to better relate to the male spirit and vigor that they were originally intended to demonstrate.

So far, 80 women have "graduated" from Respectfully Yours. I currently am leading 17 more through the 8-week curriculum.