Testimonials

My group and I are loving this study and have had some amazing discussions because of it. Many of them are still wrestling with [the issue of unconditional love, grace and forgiveness], and I’m so excited to see some of the thoughts and lightbulb moments that are emerging because of it.

Through your book I realized I have never showed my sons (ages 19 and 21) respect. They know I love them, but I'm sure they never felt respected. I'm convinced my words (and actions) made them feel controlled and belittled, which created a wall between us. I'm learning how to honor my sons with respect (and space) and in return I'm receiving the love I crave. I try regularly to tell my sons something I respect about them or something that makes me proud. It is transforming our relationships...I have recommended this book to all my friends with sons. I even purchased it for one friend! This book is worth the time and the money for Moms to learn how to relate with their sons in the way that is most meaningful to them.

Our home group is predominantly married with teens, but there are some divorced and singles and retired. What we liked about TIP is that it wasn’t the usual fill-in-the-blank video presentation.

I wish I would have learned about win-win before we got married. I would have been able to practice these principles while we were courting. I knew there would be challenges but because of each of our personalities they took a long, long, time to really show up. We suppressed a lot of things not wanting to upset the other or bring up something frustrating. If we would have realized that we could have a win-win scenario and communicated about things right away, it wouldn't have taken a decade for major challenges to surface. The Marine Corps is all about preparing for friction and challenges so that concept is easy for me to grasp, the Bible gives us all the tools, but I had never considered solutions in marriage being a win-win situation. I had always heard the emphasis on sacrificing for the other person which I figured could go either way, but the win-win concept I have never considered or heard advocated...despite the fact that it's right there, in the Bible.

Personally, God has laid on my heart to do what I can to attract every woman in our church to accept the invitation to attend Respectfully Yours. This includes ALL women. Every woman has a man or men in her life that she can positively influence and encourage so that God's intentions for them as men are sought and desired. Too often, we hear about the church being woman heavy in spearheading and the doing. That's our nature, I know. But, we must do what we can to change the trajectory we are on that has resulted from decades of emasculation. Mothers, wives, sisters, grandmothers, aunts, female employees and employers, must begin to better relate to the male spirit and vigor that they were originally intended to demonstrate.

So far, 80 women have "graduated" from Respectfully Yours. I currently am leading 17 more through the 8-week curriculum.

"Can’t wait for the next one! Love it so far! This goes side by side with everything I’m learning about being a strong Christian women. This is all very new, but I love it, and it’s working"

"The challenge that was given in each email was very helpful. My wife and I have been married over 20 years and we had something come in between us. This sent our marriage into the crazy cycle. It just uncovered hurts and past events that were already there. Over the time and reading and praying, God revealed I have many past hurts from my upbringing I never dealt with, which are reflected in outbursts when tension arises. ...working through the 15 day challenge, I am learning to LOVE my wife in a deeper way to see her heart not her attacks. I have never needed this 15 day challenge more than I did over the last few months."

"Hi! I am a young mother and wife...our son just turned a year old a few weeks ago. I recently listened to your book Mother and Son. I am so thankful for the principles you’ve shared on respecting both my husband and son, and I am praying God transforms me and helps me meet their needs. I know I have a lot of progress to make, but I also already see how God has started to help me be more aware of my husband’s need for respect, and also prepare my mind to raise my son in a way that molds him into a man of honor and shows him I hold him in a high regard, no matter what mistakes he makes. I know that when I ask for wisdom, God gives it freely. I am so very thankful that I have been given such advice so early in our marriage and parenthood. I know there are many women who wish they would have known these truths earlier. Thank you for the wonderful work you are doing for the kingdom, and ultimately for our Lord Jesus."

"I had been praying for a miracle in my marriage…a big one...but felt all hope was lost. I began to make plans on picking up the pieces alone. Then we attended the Love and Respect conference. (My husband) slept in the car on the way to the meeting and I thought "I wasted $50 we don't have.” (But) something happened when you got up and started speaking. My husband woke up. When we left…he apologized for not being a good husband and wants to make things better. I apologized to him for my attitudes. Things are starting to turn around. Thank you and please keep us in your prayers."

I attended a "Respectfully Yours”…twice!  I loved it!  This study has helped me tremendously in my relationship with God and my marriage. I had been spinning my wheels on the Crazy Cycle for over 30 years. I failed miserably trying to do marriage my way in my own strength.  I thought my husband was the problem and I planned to divorce him after the kids left home.

God had another plan! (Thank you Lord!). He provided this study to teach me His truth, His wisdom, His ways. He loves me and wants what is best for me!  And I'm entrusting myself to Him.  "Respectfully Yours" taught me how to honor God and do marriage His way. To focus on what I need to do, not what my husband needs to do. I learned more about who God is and who I am in Him, how God made husbands and wives different, how to be obedient to God's command to respect my husband…unconditionally, regardless of whether or not he responds with the love I need from him. That seemed impossible…but I decided to try it. With God's grace, help and guidance I realized I can do this and it feels good and right. This study has made such a difference in my life and marriage. I am more at peace and my husband is responding to me in a more loving and caring way. My prayer is for every woman young and old to put their hope and trust in the Lord and do this study and experience the power of God in her life and marriage. God bless every one of you at Love and Respect and every study group leader as you spread the message.

I’m a widower, so I guess you could say that I’ve been wounded. But I want to put myself out there and find love again, and going through this series is helping me with that.  Learning about the Crazy Cycle and the core reality of our most basic needs has been truly illuminating as I move forward in this new season of life.

I have been elevated to a place in my home that I used to fight for... not a doormat, but a welcome mat to the power of God in my marriage!