Testimonials

So wish I had read when my son was little, but found powerful at 30 years old as well. Although we don't line up on our worldview at this stage, I found an area I genuinely
admire and respect in my son.  When I told him I respected the way he handles his finances, my words resonated with him in a way that he immediately physically sat more erect (in the car passenger seat) and then shared with me some of his business ideas.

This freed me to realize I was meeting a need that he had equal to my need for love.

Through your book I realized I have never showed my sons (ages 19 and 21) respect. They know I love them, but I'm sure they never felt respected. I'm convinced my words (and actions) made them feel controlled and belittled, which created a wall between us. I'm learning how to honor my sons with respect (and space) and in return I'm receiving the love I crave. I try regularly to tell my sons something I respect about them or something that makes me proud. It is transforming our relationships...I have recommended this book to all my friends with sons. I even purchased it for one friend! This book is worth the time and the money for Moms to learn how to relate with their sons in the way that is most meaningful to them.

"I had been praying for a miracle in my marriage…a big one...but felt all hope was lost. I began to make plans on picking up the pieces alone. Then we attended the Love and Respect conference. (My husband) slept in the car on the way to the meeting and I thought "I wasted $50 we don't have.” (But) something happened when you got up and started speaking. My husband woke up. When we left…he apologized for not being a good husband and wants to make things better. I apologized to him for my attitudes. Things are starting to turn around. Thank you and please keep us in your prayers."

Starting this small group has allowed us to examine what our own church has on these subjects and, surprisingly enough, this message has been in our literature for decades. But [TIP] brought it into a modern, practical light.

I have seen dramatic improvement in my relationship with my…son since I began implementing the principles in the book. I already had a good relationship with my son and picked up the book in anticipation of these next…years, but I hadn’t realized how much better it could be for both of us. My son and I both win in so many ways!…I keep the book on my nightstand and keep going through it so I don’t forget any of the information. This has been a lifestyle change for me with my son because it just works.

My wife and I facilitate L&R classes and always recommend this. We continue to go back through it once we finish it and we use it daily – not weekly. It never gets old. Each devotion is a great reminder.

"I have been implementing each day’s challenge and have been truly blessed. I’ve really become aware of how quickly our tone is sour when we are tired or frustrated and I’ve really been able to catch myself before responding disrespectfully. My husband is more outwardly verbal and irritable but I had no idea how much I show contempt or feel it in reacting to him. I feel so great practicing responding with kindness in areas I used to find myself huffing even on the inside. It’s very freeing to not be caught in that cycle. I’ve also been practicing being cheerful after coming home from work. We honestly have no clue how negative we are in a day until we start to study our own actions. Thank you so much. I definitely needed this refresher course in the Love and Respect. I had passed my book on to another couple years ago. I miss having my own copy. I’m so glad you made this available."

Thank you for teaching me about respect and what it truly means in my life. You’ve given me the courage to be respectful to those around me, even when they get on my nerves. You’ve given me the tools to have confidence and through Christ all things are possible. I can take that home and be respectful toward my mother and to lay the foundation so that someday my mom will also know Christ. I opened myself up in ways that have been laid on my heart for some time. I can begin again.

A mother and preschool director wrote: We have four children, two boys and two girls. Our boys are in the middle and sixteen months apart. Our boys were arguing, bickering, and annoying each other on purpose around ages nine and ten... I would remind them to “be nice” or “show kindness,” and their actions would change for the moment, but it didn’t reach their hearts. As I applied the respect principle to them and said things such as “You aren’t showing your brother respect when you ______________.” Or “You show your friends respect, so you need to extend that same respect to your brother.” It was life-changing; it spoke to their hearts. Don’t get me wrong, they still have disagreements at thirteen and fourteen, but they are quick to resolve them, and they are best friends.

My wife and I thoroughly enjoyed the conference at Calvary in Charlotte. We went more than a year ago in Winston Salem when I had just moved back into the house after a 6-month separation. Neither my wife nor I cheated on each other. However, we got caught on the Crazy Cycle for 13 years, could not identify it, and thus, could not get off of it. We were in DEEP! At the conference two weeks ago, I rated our marriage at a '5' of '7'. That is pretty good considering we were at a '0' in Winston. In Winston Salem, I must say that I really did not hear anything of Saturday's teaching on the Energizing Cycle because all I could do was replay in my mind the Crazy Cycle material from the night before. We were so undone that the Energizing Cycle was not even applicable. We had not been physically intimate for almost two years. The biggest step for us was to start seeing each other as 'good-willed' people again. This time it was different.Because God has so moved in our marriage and our intimacy is back, the Energizing Cycle was very applicable, and I listened to Saturday's material very intently.I would suggest multiple conferences for everyone, but especially for couples who go to the first one in real crisis. Applying the Crazy Cycle insights got us from a '0' to a '5'. Now our prayers are that we will be a '7' very soon.

I would like to take a moment and thank you for your wonderful book – Love and Respect. I don’t even remember how I came across it – but it is so refreshing to read the truth regarding the intricacies of the relationship between husband and wife, as God designed them to be. I just turned 69 years old – and am very happily married to my husband (of nearly 49 years – we were married in 1972). We have 6 children and 24 grandchildren. I have always had an interest in knowing how to create an atmosphere where love and tenderness not only exist, but continue to grow as time goes on. I have read many books over the years (made plenty of mistakes) – but that was always the goal. It is appalling to me to watch what the women’s movement has done to marriages and families. The lack of respect for men shocks me. I will never forget the day I went into a CVS store for a Father’s Day card. I opened a card that read: “This card is anatomically correct – we didn’t give him any brains.”So I appreciate your fearlessness in teaching the truth. I learned things in your book that no one else (in books I had read) had ever explained. For instance – the shoulder to shoulder concept – about how men don’t really need to have a lot of conversation to enjoy time with their wives. How nice to know that. I have decided that I am going to give your book for wedding gifts. It will cut the learning curve down considerably for those that are just beginning their lives together – and hopefully save them some mistakes along the way. May God Bless you for all you do.