Testimonials

I wish I would have learned about win-win before we got married. I would have been able to practice these principles while we were courting. I knew there would be challenges but because of each of our personalities they took a long, long, time to really show up. We suppressed a lot of things not wanting to upset the other or bring up something frustrating. If we would have realized that we could have a win-win scenario and communicated about things right away, it wouldn't have taken a decade for major challenges to surface. The Marine Corps is all about preparing for friction and challenges so that concept is easy for me to grasp, the Bible gives us all the tools, but I had never considered solutions in marriage being a win-win situation. I had always heard the emphasis on sacrificing for the other person which I figured could go either way, but the win-win concept I have never considered or heard advocated...despite the fact that it's right there, in the Bible.

I’m a widower, so I guess you could say that I’ve been wounded. But I want to put myself out there and find love again, and going through this series is helping me with that.  Learning about the Crazy Cycle and the core reality of our most basic needs has been truly illuminating as I move forward in this new season of life.

"We were constantly on the Crazy cycle...but I started to act on some of your suggestions. I was amazed at the changes in our marriage."

This freed me to realize I was meeting a need that he had equal to my need for love.

This seminar in a small group format is a great idea where conversations intertwine...supported by video material and personal reflections. This is very effective in my opinion. I was personally impacted by the lesson “The 80:20 Ratio”, and especially the fifth lesson, "My Response is My Responsibility." In between sessions I tried to put into practice on the “open sea” what we were learning. It works! Of course, this is not a magic wand, but a very effective tool that actually demonstrates its usefulness only through practice.

My relationship with my twenty-two-year-old son improved overnight! Who knew that... simple changes in words could make such a difference. Now I tell him how much I appreciate him, and he tears up. Before, I told him I loved him and got back, "I know, I know, I luv u too." Learning the right words to get my feelings across in a way they can be assimilated was so easy!

They are humble teachers who teach from their mistakes and their trials with this message. I felt like it was really practical, kind of like they were coming alongside us. It felt real.

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"One of God's miracles in all of this is (we) made a commitment to go for counseling and the person that gave us the counseling used all his teaching based on Love and Respect. First we had to re-read your book, then we went through your 5 DVDs on Love and Respect…with obedience, faith, patience and with (the) Love and Respect teaching God worked His plans His way...Yes we both have acknowledged that it takes two to tango and we were in all aspects of our lives on the crazy cycle. We are now committed to always work our way through life by putting God first and to stay off of the crazy cycle."

"You have given voice to what I have been feeling over the last 15 years of our marriage. Frustrated at not being able to verbalize my feelings, I withdrew and stonewalled until I would blow up. Your simple truths rang true with my heart..."

My wife and I thoroughly enjoyed the conference at Calvary in Charlotte. We went more than a year ago in Winston Salem when I had just moved back into the house after a 6-month separation. Neither my wife nor I cheated on each other. However, we got caught on the Crazy Cycle for 13 years, could not identify it, and thus, could not get off of it. We were in DEEP! At the conference two weeks ago, I rated our marriage at a '5' of '7'. That is pretty good considering we were at a '0' in Winston. In Winston Salem, I must say that I really did not hear anything of Saturday's teaching on the Energizing Cycle because all I could do was replay in my mind the Crazy Cycle material from the night before. We were so undone that the Energizing Cycle was not even applicable. We had not been physically intimate for almost two years. The biggest step for us was to start seeing each other as 'good-willed' people again. This time it was different.Because God has so moved in our marriage and our intimacy is back, the Energizing Cycle was very applicable, and I listened to Saturday's material very intently.I would suggest multiple conferences for everyone, but especially for couples who go to the first one in real crisis. Applying the Crazy Cycle insights got us from a '0' to a '5'. Now our prayers are that we will be a '7' very soon.

Dear Emerson, Wow! After 16 years, 3 kids,  I feel like I should have done a marriage refresher years ago and not waited until a crisis.

"My marriage is changed forever! I want to let men who are struggling know that they can change their marriage.  If you apply these principles, they will make a difference, my marriage is living proof."