Testimonials

One thing that I just love about The Illumination Project, what makes it unique, is that you have these two different generations being represented in Emerson and Joy. With Emerson, you have his wisdom and years of writing on this stuff and traveling and counseling couples through marriage, and so you have his passion and his truth. But on the other hand, you have Joy representing the younger crowd, and she makes it relevant and brings her passion and charisma, and the real-life context that we young people are up against. And that synergetic relationship working together is really a phenomenal dynamic to watch. Not to mention: People want to talk about this. They want to talk about love and romance and dating and marriage.

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My husband and I just attended your conference…, which we greatly enjoyed. Today is also our precious daughter [s]… birthday and I wanted you to know that she would not be here if not for God’s intervention in our lives through your Love and Respect book 9 years ago which saved our marriage.…I had filed for divorce and moved thousands of miles away to be near my family and started my dream job. I was not just one foot out the door, I was entirely out of the door after years and years of struggling . After 8 years of marriage, I was without hope and hated my husband. We had been to counseling…had even been to several Christian family conferences. However, some of the sin strongholds… had nearly put the nail in the coffin of our marriage. During that year, my husband deployed…, which was according to him, the darkest place on earth where hopelessness and temptation have a stronghold. He had other deployments and after each one he came back more distant and changed. However, this deployment was different. My husband met his best friend and brother in Christ and they began bible study in that dark place. My husband came across your book at the library there (a God thing of course) and began to pursue me relentlessly even from thousands of miles away. It took a long time for me to reach the point where I was at and it took a true miracle to soften my hardened heart. He started with apologies to me and others in our lives he had hurt. Then he began writing me love letters, telling my how amazing and irreplaceable I was. He kept telling me that he was not doing this to win me back, but he was doing this because of the commitment he made to God to be my husband, which had nothing to do with the way I treated him. He sent me flowers, drawings and gifts. For weeks I would not take his phone calls except so he could talk to our young son because I was so angry and afraid to love. I was cruel, and skeptical and he kept loving me unconditionally in spite of this. I will never be able to explain the transformation in my willingness to reconcile and see it as a miracle. One day I saw him as my enemy and the next, I was completely in love with him again and saw him as my warrior, hero, and resolute protector. When people ask me how we could reconcile, I tell them without hesitation that it was God and your book that saved our marriage. When he returned, we canceled the divorce proceedings and reconciled. Shortly thereafter we conceived our little girl. We now have a Godly marriage and are much stronger than ever. Thank you so much for writing this book and saving marriages. There is a special place in our hearts for military families and I pray that the Love and Respect message continues to make its way to bible studies and libraries in the darkest corners of the world.

"We were constantly on the Crazy cycle...but I started to act on some of your suggestions. I was amazed at the changes in our marriage."

"…I am already putting forth a minute by minute conscious effort to speak kindly and respectfully ..... grace seasoned with salt !! I know in my heart it is first and foremost how Jesus interacted with everyone ..... HE ..... always treated EVERYONE with kindness and respect ..... no matter what ..... the woman caught in adultery .... ZACCHAEUS UP IN THE TREE .... and every individual HE interacted with .... I am excited ..... God is able to do exceedingly abundantly beyond my expectations ...... here we go!!!"

Your materials recognize that every person involved may improve their approach to strengthen the team and each has the responsibility to do so.  Appreciate your encouragement to view ourselves from the exterior perspective that we might be more effective and productive in our work alongside people facing that exterior, no matter our role or profession.

We have seven participants aged 23 to 29. I would characterize the group as each a believer, but their levels of spiritual maturity and personal relationship with Jesus vary considerably. It was clear that our test group was ‘willing’ but more than a little bit apprehensive. This was new territory for them. We wondered if we’d be able to stimulate discussion afterward. Ha! The group couldn’t wait to comment! We’ll have more to share as the weeks move on, but, suffice it to say, we might be ‘on to something’ here.

This seminar in a small group format is a great idea where conversations intertwine...supported by video material and personal reflections. This is very effective in my opinion. I was personally impacted by the lesson “The 80:20 Ratio”, and especially the fifth lesson, "My Response is My Responsibility." In between sessions I tried to put into practice on the “open sea” what we were learning. It works! Of course, this is not a magic wand, but a very effective tool that actually demonstrates its usefulness only through practice.

My wife and I facilitate L&R classes and always recommend this. We continue to go back through it once we finish it and we use it daily – not weekly. It never gets old. Each devotion is a great reminder.

"Though it has only been 8 days since I’ve started this challenge, the change in me and our marriage is so incredibly huge!!! We have not had a fight in 8 days and I have to be honest that in the last 7 months we seriously did not go one day without harsh ugly words towards each other. So I will celebrate these last 8 days as a victory!!! All the praise and glory to God!!"

"Praise The Lord! In my conversations today with my wife, I listened first to what she was saying and how, then responded with a calm tone. We we're dealing with a [...] issue, God showed up [and] we ended up paying [...] She was upset [...]. It could have been easy to have a different tone especially when I was on the job and busy with a client."

"I cannot thank you enough for sharing the wisdom and insight you have been blessed with. I have been married [for a long time], and it has been a roller coaster. For the last [few] years, our marriage was quiet. We just tolerated each other…[Now] [i]nstead of taking the defense, and jumping on the crazy cycle, I've begun to recognize the signs and symptoms of the crazy cycle and it has changed how I respond. I have seen a change in my husband and it’s amazing."

When my wife...first pulled out the book and looked at me, I can honestly say my spirit deflated. I immediately thought, “Oh now, after a long day at the office, she’s gonna want me to reflect on a scripture passage and pour out my heart and soul about how I don’t measure up.” After she read the introduction, I regained HOPE! EE nailed it – let’s take this a little at a time and even do some of the introspection on our own – vertical first, horizontal next…