Present Distress

The story is told of a Quaker who had encountered an inordinate amount of hardships and misfortunes, and one day he had finally had enough. He knelt in prayer and said to God, “I need to tell you something, Lord. I need to tell you why you don’t have more friends. The reason you don’t have more friends is because of the way you treat the friends you do have."

Do you ever feel this way about your hardships and distresses? 

I wonder if the Corinthians felt this way. Or, did they navigate their own troubled waters in a healthy way?

In 1 Corinthians 7, the apostle Paul talks to both the married and unmarried about a “present distress.” 

1 Corinthians 7:26: "I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is."

This “present distress” of the time was so severe, Paul recommended the unmarried to remain unmarried. Even so, in verse 28 he tells them it isn't a sin to marry but that the married will have trouble, especially in light of the present distress. 

What is this "present distress” Paul is referring to, that is so severe that he even recommended not getting married during it? More than likely, a worldwide famine had struck the known world. Therefore, a heavy responsibility to survive had fallen upon everyone, and a married couple with children would have even more challenges to survive during this time. 

N. T. Wright wrote, "Paul left Corinth, most likely, in AD 51. Right around that time, and for a few years afterwards—exactly the period between his leaving and his writing this letter—there was a severe shortage of grain, the most basic foodstuff, around the Greek world. Other people writing at the same time mention it. Many Roman citizens and colonists—and many in Corinth were both—had taken it for granted that the great Roman empire would keep them safe, sound and well fed. Suddenly the food had run out. A great question mark hung over the whole imperial world. Was everything going horribly wrong? The poor in particular—and most of the Christians in Corinth were poor (1 Corinthians 1:26)—would be feeling the pinch. It was a time of great distress, as much because people were anxious that it would get worse as because of the immediate effects of the crisis."

Does your present distress parallel the Corinthians?

For many today, their "present distress" is tied to the worldwide pandemic from the coronavirus. Because of our quarantine, a cascade of hardships floods us. Every hassle is amped up. Our restricted employment jeopardizes our income, which increases our fears. The stress intensifies marital and parenting tensions that escalate into unwelcome arguments. Everyone feels downhearted, at least at various moments. 

Your Stories

Here are some stories I have received from you.

No Escaping: "I was hating my 15-year marriage and was escaping any encounter with my husband by getting up early and going to the gym or burying myself in Bible study. Then the coronavirus moved from China to Italy to the United States. God had to get my attention and take away all of my escape routes. Gyms were canceled, Bible study was canceled, Sunday morning church was canceled."

Job Loss: "Times have been hard. I lost my job and my wife does not work. The kids are out of school so now we are all four on top of each other at home. I have the stress for looking for work and my wife is trying to deal with the new workload with the kids, home stuff and my stress.” 

Controlling Fears: A woman tells me, "I live with my 26-year-old daughter. She, like me, is very concerned and worried about any of us getting sick. She is overly anxious anyway, so it makes this hard. In my family, each of us expresses our fear and frustration differently, so it's hard to keep everyone happy and at peace. I know we are not supposed to fear, but honestly, it is hard."

Vulnerable Parents: An adult daughter tells me, "My parents live across the street from us, both of whom have underlying health issues, which puts them at great risk. Protecting them is one of our top priorities."

Irritating Personalities: "My husband and I were just not on the same page. I wanted to take every precaution there was. I was shopping at 6 a.m. and later cleaning out cabinets because I had so much nervous energy. I was filled with fear! My husband, on the other hand, didn't seem to have a care in the world. He thought all this would pass, and life would be back to normal in a few days . . . I told the Lord, You said marriage was for better or for worse, and right now, this is definitely for worse!"

No Income: From South Africa, a person writes, "Our biggest challenge is that we will have no income. Things have slowed down for weeks before the lockdown, so business was almost nonexistent before our 21-day shutdown, and now we stay isolated till 17 April. This is difficult for us as we are painters and do the work ourselves."

Aloneness: A single person expresses, "I’m single and alone with just my animals. I’m now unemployed. It’s weird. I’m trying to not be scared."

Overindulging: A wife vents, "All he wants to do is look at the news and complain about the president while he knocks back a six-pack, or maybe more. We eat dinner and he falls asleep on the couch. I'm left to binge on TV, read, social media, whatever. The cycle starts all over again the next day." 

Marital Crisis: A brokenhearted husband opens up to me, "We have been having marital difficulties since marriage, three years ago. We both trust God. She informed me last night after a year of counseling that she is leaving. There has been no infidelity, but lots of miscommunication and hurt along the way. I'm struggling with self-isolating with my wife, as she is now making arrangements to leave. Please pray that God will work a miracle in this situation and that we can find a way to stay together and find a full restoration in our marriage. Please pray that God will work in me and change the things in me that need changing and healing. I will do whatever I can. I love my wife."

For many others of you, as well, this is a troubling time. You’re wondering how you are going to deal with this present distress.

Revealing The Way We Are

Situations like these do not cause us to be the way we are; they reveal the way we are. 

In the following videos, we will answer three questions: 

1) What does God expect us to do through our present distress? 

2) Why does God allow us to be in our present distress? 

3) How do we navigate our present distress?

As a small group, share the distressful challenges before you, and then each couple pray for another couple. Be sure to pray out loud to one another. This lets others know prayer has been offered up on their behalf. This increases our faith. 

Also, if you are doing this study as a husband and wife, or as an individual, pray about your present distress. Pray about whatever you’re thinking or feeling. It’s open ended.

Why should we pray?

Remember what the apostle James says: "You do not have because you do not ask” (James 4:2). But most importantly, we pray because Jesus prayed and commanded us to pray as well. And we are to imitate and obey Jesus Christ.

What do you need prayer for?

Are you underfoot? Unemployed? Worried? A restricted caregiver? Feeling annoyed? Without income? Feeling isolated and alone? Binging or over indulging? Is the marriage itself feeling threatened?

For the small groups, go around and each couple take a few minutes to share your challenges during this time, using questions 1 and 2 as your basis. Then another couple immediately pray for them. Go around the circle doing this. Share and pray. Share and pray. Share and pray until all have had their time to be open and honest about their personal challenges during this time. Then close by sharing your answers to questions 3 and 4.