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Session Reading
Scripture Says It:
1 Corinthians 13:5: “[Love] does not dishonor others.”
Titus 2:3-4: “Older women likewise are to . . . encourage the young women to . . . love their children.”
Proverbs 20:29: “The glory of young men is their strength.”
1 Corinthians 16:13: “Act like men, be strong.”
They Said It:
A mother of an adult son: “Although we don’t line up on our worldviews at this stage, I found an area I genuinely admire and respect in my son. When I told him I respected the way he handles his finances, my words resonated with him in a way that he immediately physically sat more erect and then shared with me some of his business ideas.”
A kindergarten teacher: “Too often, we female teachers resort to loving techniques across the board (to boys and girls), and don’t even think about respectful techniques. . . I started playing to the strengths of the boys who were particular management problems, using them as examples, and validating them as leaders in certain areas whenever possible.”
A mother of a nine-year-old: “I told my son (as we sat side by side) how honorable he was in coming to the stores with me at night and for waiting until I got into the car first, and I thanked him. He had a big goofy grin on his face, and not only did the same as he always does when I had to go to the store that night, but he opened and closed doors for me too!”
Bring It Home:
(During the day)
She commits to the Golden Rule.
- She cannot show disrespect to motivate her son to be respectful and loving.
She looks for opportunities.
She validates his good qualities.
- She validates his insights.
- She validates his good leadership.
- She validates his strengths.
- She validates his protective nature.
She rightly reads his words and spirit.
- “Are you proud of me?”
- “Do I have what it takes?”
- “Stop with this respect stuff!”
- “Do you love me?”
- “Just be with me. No talking please.”
- Is he defeated and down?
- Is he at the stage of needing more independence?
Up For Discussion
- Why will it not work to motivate your son by showing him disrespect? How have such strategies worked out for you in the past? Discuss.
- In what ways will it look different for a mom to look for opportunities to show respect to her son rather than love only? What do you think the challenges will be?
- Why can it be tough and almost seem backward for a mom to intentionally try validating her son’s good leadership?
- Discuss ways you’ve noticed your son’s protective nature coming out of him. How can you better encourage that part of him?
- One mom wrote Emerson to share her belief that when we do not show respect to our sons, we are inadvertently telling them, “You don’t have what it takes!” Do you agree or disagree? Explain.
- In what ways have you seen your son—at various stages/ages of his life—trying to show you that he needs more independence? How have you responded in these times?
Just For Mom
- Are you committed to the Golden Rule in that you will model showing respect as you expect your son to honor father and mother?
- Are you learning to look for opportunities to speak a respect word? What is an example?
- Do you validate your son’s good qualities, like his insights, good leadership, strengths, and protective nature? Why and how have you done this?
- Do you seek to rightly read your son’s words and spirit when he expresses things like, “Are you proud of me?” “Do I have what it takes?” “Stop with this respect stuff!” “Do you love me?” “Just be with me, no talking please”? What are you learning about rightly reading his words and spirit?
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