The Crazy Cycle In The Workplace - Study Guide (Download)

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

We are equal but we are not the same.

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.