Love & Respect Conference and 10 Week Study - Workbook (Download)

This is a digital download purchase of the study guide for the 10 Week Love and Respect Conference series, available to watch in both DVD and online format. This purchase is for single-use license - Order as many as you will need.

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The Love & Respect Conference Workbook

Unlock the secret to a thriving marriage

In Love & Respect, author Dr. Emerson Eggerichs introduces the concept of the Crazy Cycle, a negative communication pattern that can occur in marriages. When one partner responds in a way that feels disrespectful to the other partner, it can trigger a negative reaction, causing the cycle to continue. Learn how to break the cycle and build a stronger relationship.

To break the Crazy Cycle, Dr. Eggerichs suggests that couples need to recognize and address the underlying needs for love and respect in both partners. By showing love and respect to one another, couples can create a positive cycle of interaction and strengthen their relationship. You will learn practical tips and exercises to cultivate this positive cycle.

Through the Crazy Cycle, Love & Respect offers valuable insights into the ways that negative communication patterns can impact a marriage. By understanding and addressing these patterns, couples can build a stronger and more loving relationship.

In Love & Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs presents an alternative to the Crazy Cycle: the Energizing Cycle. This positive communication pattern starts with the wife showing respect to her husband, which makes him feel respected. In turn, the husband shows love to his wife, which makes her feel loved. This creates a positive feedback loop where both partners feel loved and respected.

By consistently showing appreciation, affection, and empathy, couples can cultivate the Energizing Cycle and build a strong and healthy relationship. Love and respect are two essential needs for both partners in a marriage, and meeting these needs can lead to greater intimacy, connection, and satisfaction in the relationship.

The Energizing Cycle offers a practical and effective way for couples to break negative communication patterns and build a more positive and fulfilling relationship. By intentionally showing love and respect to one another, couples can strengthen their bond and experience greater happiness and fulfillment in their marriage.

In Love & Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs introduces the concept of the Rewarded Cycle, where the husband demonstrates love regardless of her respect and the wife demonstrates respect regardless of his love.

But what if your husband doesn't show you love when you show him respect? What if your wife doesn't show you respect as you show her love? If you get no results from practicing Love & Respect, why bother?

The Rewarded Cycle gives you the answers to these questions. In a real sense, the Rewarded Cycle is the most important session in this course as we are called to love and respect are spouse unconditionally, unto the Lord.

The C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym stands for Closeness, Openness, Understanding, Peacemaking, Loyalty, and Esteem. This is how a husband shows love to his wife.

Each element of the C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym represents a key aspect of a healthy and fulfilling relationship. By working to develop these qualities in their marriage, couples can build a stronger and more loving relationship.

In these six area you will learn how to spell "love" to your wife.

The C.H.A.I.R.S. acronym presented in this course gives you practical, biblical ways that will help you become more respectful women. Wives do not need a lot of coaching on being loving. It is something God built into them, and they do it naturally. However, they do need help with respect.

Providing more energy for your marriage is exactly what the C.H.A.I.R.S. acronym is all about. C.H.A.I.R.S stands for the six major values that your husband holds: Conquest, Hierarchy, Authority, Insight, Relationship, and Sexuality.

In these six areas you will learn how to spell "respect" to your husband.

Love & Respect Conference and 10 Week Study

Workbook Digital Download

The Workbook

This is the comprehensive workbook to the new Love & Respect Conference DVDs and 10 Week study. This workbook can facilitate individual, couple or group study and includes a LEADER’S GUIDE section. It can be used to just watch the live conference portion of the DVDs, using the fill-in-the-blank in-session guide only, but the best option is to combine this with a more in-depth study using the discussion questions for each session, the application portion, the mid-week devotional time and more! The good news is you get both in this workbook.

More About the Conference DVDS and Study

Excited yet burdened about male and female relationships, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife Sarah launched the Love & Respect Conferences in 1999. Based on over three decades of counseling as well as scientific and biblical research, this conference has given hope and new life to thousands of marriages over the last 17 years and is now available in HD on DVD for the first time, with over 6 hours of dynamic teaching on five discs! It is a great resource for your personal or counseling library. Filmed in front of a live audience this presentation is perfect for individuals, couples and small groups.

Get to know...

Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.

About Love & Respect
Portrait of Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Product Quotes

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

The Love and Respect Experience

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Before You Hit Send

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

The Love and Respect Experience

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

Love & Respect in the Family

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

The Love and Respect Experience

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

The Love and Respect Experience

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

Love & Respect Book

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

Love & Respect Boook

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

Love & Respect Podcast

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Building Blocks

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

Love & Respect in the Family

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

The Love and Respect Experience

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

Love & Respect Podcast

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

Respectfully Yours

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Building Blocks

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

Building Blocks

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

Love & Respect

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

Before You Hit Send

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

The Love and Respect Experience

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Love & Respect

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

The Love and Respect Experience

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

The Love and Respect Experience

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

Love & Respect Podcast

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

Building Blocks

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

Love & Respect

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

The Love and Respect Experience

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Love & Respect in the Family

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

Respectfully Yours

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

The Love and Respect Experience

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

Love & Respect

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

The Language of Love & Respect

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

Respectfully Yours

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

The Language of Love & Respect

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

Building Blocks

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

The Language of Love & Respect Book

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

Respectfully Yours

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

Before You Hit Send

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

The Love and Respect Experience

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

The Love and Respect Experience

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Respectfully Yours

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

Respectfully Yours

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

Love & Respect

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Before You Hit Send

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

Love & Respect in the Family

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

Love & Respect

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

The Love and Respect Experience

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

Love & Respect

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Building Blocks

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

Before You Hit Send

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

Love & Respect

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

Love & Respect in the Family

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

The Love and Respect Experience

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Love & Respect

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

The Love and Respect Experience

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

Building Blocks

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Respectfully Yours

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Building Blocks

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

Building Blocks

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

Love & Respect

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

Respectfully Yours

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

Before You Hit Send

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

The Love and Respect Experience

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

Respectfully Yours

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

Respectfully Yours

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

The Language of Love & Respect Book

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

Love & Respect

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

Building Blocks

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

Building Blocks

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

Respectfully Yours

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

Building Blocks

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Love & Respect

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

Before You Hit Send

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

The Love and Respect Experience
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