Love & Respect Conference and 10 Week Study - Workbook (Download)

This is a digital download purchase of the study guide for the 10 Week Love and Respect Conference series, available to watch in both DVD and online format. This purchase is for single-use license - Order as many as you will need.

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The Love & Respect Conference Workbook

Unlock the secret to a thriving marriage

In Love & Respect, author Dr. Emerson Eggerichs introduces the concept of the Crazy Cycle, a negative communication pattern that can occur in marriages. When one partner responds in a way that feels disrespectful to the other partner, it can trigger a negative reaction, causing the cycle to continue. Learn how to break the cycle and build a stronger relationship.

To break the Crazy Cycle, Dr. Eggerichs suggests that couples need to recognize and address the underlying needs for love and respect in both partners. By showing love and respect to one another, couples can create a positive cycle of interaction and strengthen their relationship. You will learn practical tips and exercises to cultivate this positive cycle.

Through the Crazy Cycle, Love & Respect offers valuable insights into the ways that negative communication patterns can impact a marriage. By understanding and addressing these patterns, couples can build a stronger and more loving relationship.

In Love & Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs presents an alternative to the Crazy Cycle: the Energizing Cycle. This positive communication pattern starts with the wife showing respect to her husband, which makes him feel respected. In turn, the husband shows love to his wife, which makes her feel loved. This creates a positive feedback loop where both partners feel loved and respected.

By consistently showing appreciation, affection, and empathy, couples can cultivate the Energizing Cycle and build a strong and healthy relationship. Love and respect are two essential needs for both partners in a marriage, and meeting these needs can lead to greater intimacy, connection, and satisfaction in the relationship.

The Energizing Cycle offers a practical and effective way for couples to break negative communication patterns and build a more positive and fulfilling relationship. By intentionally showing love and respect to one another, couples can strengthen their bond and experience greater happiness and fulfillment in their marriage.

In Love & Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs introduces the concept of the Rewarded Cycle, where the husband demonstrates love regardless of her respect and the wife demonstrates respect regardless of his love.

But what if your husband doesn't show you love when you show him respect? What if your wife doesn't show you respect as you show her love? If you get no results from practicing Love & Respect, why bother?

The Rewarded Cycle gives you the answers to these questions. In a real sense, the Rewarded Cycle is the most important session in this course as we are called to love and respect are spouse unconditionally, unto the Lord.

The C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym stands for Closeness, Openness, Understanding, Peacemaking, Loyalty, and Esteem. This is how a husband shows love to his wife.

Each element of the C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym represents a key aspect of a healthy and fulfilling relationship. By working to develop these qualities in their marriage, couples can build a stronger and more loving relationship.

In these six area you will learn how to spell "love" to your wife.

The C.H.A.I.R.S. acronym presented in this course gives you practical, biblical ways that will help you become more respectful women. Wives do not need a lot of coaching on being loving. It is something God built into them, and they do it naturally. However, they do need help with respect.

Providing more energy for your marriage is exactly what the C.H.A.I.R.S. acronym is all about. C.H.A.I.R.S stands for the six major values that your husband holds: Conquest, Hierarchy, Authority, Insight, Relationship, and Sexuality.

In these six areas you will learn how to spell "respect" to your husband.

Love & Respect Conference and 10 Week Study

Workbook Digital Download

The Workbook

This is the comprehensive workbook to the new Love & Respect Conference DVDs and 10 Week study. This workbook can facilitate individual, couple or group study and includes a LEADER’S GUIDE section. It can be used to just watch the live conference portion of the DVDs, using the fill-in-the-blank in-session guide only, but the best option is to combine this with a more in-depth study using the discussion questions for each session, the application portion, the mid-week devotional time and more! The good news is you get both in this workbook.

More About the Conference DVDS and Study

Excited yet burdened about male and female relationships, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife Sarah launched the Love & Respect Conferences in 1999. Based on over three decades of counseling as well as scientific and biblical research, this conference has given hope and new life to thousands of marriages over the last 17 years and is now available in HD on DVD for the first time, with over 6 hours of dynamic teaching on five discs! It is a great resource for your personal or counseling library. Filmed in front of a live audience this presentation is perfect for individuals, couples and small groups.

Get to know...

Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.

About Love & Respect
Portrait of Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Product Quotes

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

Building Blocks

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

Love & Respect in the Family

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

The Love and Respect Experience

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

Love & Respect Podcast

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

Love & Respect Podcast

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

The Love and Respect Experience

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

The Love and Respect Experience

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

Before You Hit Send

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Love & Respect

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Building Blocks

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

Respectfully Yours

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

Before You Hit Send

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Building Blocks

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

Love & Respect

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

The Love and Respect Experience

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

Respectfully Yours

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

Love & Respect in the Family

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Before You Hit Send

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

The Love and Respect Experience

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

The Love and Respect Experience

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

Love & Respect

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

Love & Respect

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Love & Respect in the Family

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Love & Respect Podcast

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Respectfully Yours

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

Building Blocks

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

The Language of Love & Respect Book

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

The Love and Respect Experience

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

The Language of Love & Respect

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

The Love and Respect Experience

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Love & Respect Podcast

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

Love & Respect

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

Love & Respect

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Love & Respect

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

Building Blocks

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

The Love and Respect Experience

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

The Love and Respect Experience

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

The Love and Respect Experience

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

The Love and Respect Experience

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Building Blocks

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

The Love and Respect Experience

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

Love & Respect

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

Respectfully Yours

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

The Love and Respect Experience

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

The Love and Respect Experience

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

Love & Respect Book

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

Love & Respect

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

The Love and Respect Experience

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Love & Respect

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

Love & Respect in the Family

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Respectfully Yours

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

The Love and Respect Experience

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

The Love and Respect Experience

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

Love & Respect in the Family

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

Respectfully Yours

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

Before You Hit Send

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Building Blocks

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

Building Blocks

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

Building Blocks

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

Love & Respect

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

The Love and Respect Experience

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

Respectfully Yours

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Love & Respect Podcast

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

Building Blocks

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

Before You Hit Send

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

The Love and Respect Experience

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

Love & Respect

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

The Love and Respect Experience
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