Love and Respect Husband and Wife + Logo Mug Set

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

Your words reveal your heart.

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

We are equal but we are not the same.

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.