Love and Respect Husband and Wife + Logo Mug Set

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.