Love and Respect Husband and Wife + Logo Mug Set

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

We are equal but we are not the same.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

No matter what your struggle- criticism, constant conflict, sex, money, parenting, harsh words- learning to communicate the Love and Respect way can help you make crucial changes and build the kind of relationship that God blesses.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.