Amor y Respeto - Cuaderno De Trabajo: Videoconferencia

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

We are equal but we are not the same.

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.