Amor y Respeto - Cuaderno De Trabajo: Videoconferencia

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

We are equal but we are not the same.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.