The Love and Respect Devotional
52 Weeks To Experience Love & Respect In Your Marriage. Have you ever been excited about having a regular devotional time with your spouse, only to end up feeling distracted, frustrated, or misunderstood after your time together? While most women are energized by the idea of going through a couples’ devotional, best-selling author and marriage expert Dr. Emerson Eggerichs has observed that many men feel the opposite.
52 Weeks To Experience Love & Respect In Your Marriage
- God Joined You Together, And He Will Keep You Together
- The 80:20 Ratio: The Secret to Appreciating Your Marriage
- Mistakes Happen—And Then What?
- Question: What Is Love? Answer: C-O-U-P-L-E
- Question: What Is Respect? Answer: C-H-A-I-R-S
- Newton’s Law: The Crazy Cycle In Action
The Love & Respect Devotional
52 Weeks
A Husband-Friendly Devotional That Wives Truly Love
Have you ever experienced the disappointment of eagerly anticipating a meaningful devotional time with your spouse, only to find yourself feeling distracted, frustrated, or misunderstood afterwards? It is a common scenario where women often feel energized by the idea of engaging in a couples' devotional, while men may have a different perspective. According to Dr. Emerson Eggerichs many husbands simply do not find the standard devotional books for couples to be interesting or relatable. After attempting it a few times, they tend to seek alternative activities, leaving the devotional practice behind. Recognizing this common challenge, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs offers insights and solutions to transform your devotional experience.
Learning Love & Respect
With the invaluable insights gained from surveying thousands of couples about their deepest concerns and struggles, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs has meticulously crafted a fifty-two week devotional that speaks to the hearts of both wives and husbands. In this transformative journey, each concise devotional is thoughtfully designed to fit into your busy lifestyle, guiding you to explore the core principles of Love & Respect while inviting you to uncover the personal messages God has for you individually and as a couple. Recognizing the uniqueness of every relationship, Dr. Emerson provides practical, tailored advice and direction to ensure this devotional becomes a powerful catalyst for growth in your marriage. This tool will invigorate your relationship with God and rejuvenate your marriage with the transformative power of love and respect.
From Husbands and Wives
When my wife...first pulled out the book and looked at me, I can honestly say my spirit deflated. I immediately thought, “Oh now, after a long day at the office, she’s gonna want me to reflect on a scripture passage and pour out my heart and soul about how I don’t measure up.” After she read the introduction, I regained HOPE! EE nailed it – let’s take this a little at a time and even do some of the introspection on our own – vertical first, horizontal next…
Husband and Wife
Love this book! My husband & I just started this devotional book together & we both love it so far!!!! It is really putting the husband & wives as equals & teaching you how to truly love & respect your spouse.
Husband and Wife
We’ve read through the devotional together several times, which led to countless intimate and energizing conversations. Of all of their resources I think this is the best, because it captures all of the wisdom in short reads that prompt rich dialogue In 12 years of marriage we have literally shared hundreds of moments over coffee or dinner that were shaped and blessed by the L&R content. Forever grateful for the genuine influence the Eggerichs have had on our family.
Husband and Wife
My wife and I facilitate L&R classes and always recommend this. We continue to go back through it once we finish it and we use it daily – not weekly. It never gets old. Each devotion is a great reminder.
Husband and Wife
When my wife...first pulled out the book and looked at me, I can honestly say my spirit deflated. I immediately thought, “Oh now, after a long day at the office, she’s gonna want me to reflect on a scripture passage and pour out my heart and soul about how I don’t measure up.” After she read the introduction, I regained HOPE! EE nailed it – let’s take this a little at a time and even do some of the introspection on our own – vertical first, horizontal next…
Love this book! My husband & I just started this devotional book together & we both love it so far!!!! It is really putting the husband & wives as equals & teaching you how to truly love & respect your spouse.
We’ve read through the devotional together several times, which led to countless intimate and energizing conversations. Of all of their resources I think this is the best, because it captures all of the wisdom in short reads that prompt rich dialogue In 12 years of marriage we have literally shared hundreds of moments over coffee or dinner that were shaped and blessed by the L&R content. Forever grateful for the genuine influence the Eggerichs have had on our family.
My wife and I facilitate L&R classes and always recommend this. We continue to go back through it once we finish it and we use it daily – not weekly. It never gets old. Each devotion is a great reminder.
Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.
About Love & RespectProduct Quotes
If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.
Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.
No matter what your struggle- criticism, constant conflict, sex, money, parenting, harsh words- learning to communicate the Love and Respect way can help you make crucial changes and build the kind of relationship that God blesses.
There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.
Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.
A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.
When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.
Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.
Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?
[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?
The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.
Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.
Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.
Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?
If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.
We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.
Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.
Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.
Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.
A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.
There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.
As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.
Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.
We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.
We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.
Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)
He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.
Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.
A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.
“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.
No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.
Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)
“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“
It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.
She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.
Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.
When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.
Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.
Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.
Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.
Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.
The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.
This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.
Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.
You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!
Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?
When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.
The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)
Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.
Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.
No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.
Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)
Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.
Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.
When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.
She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.
Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.
As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.
Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.
The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).
It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.
Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.
We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.
A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.
Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.
Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).
When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.
God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.
Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).
A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.
We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.
A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.
Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.
We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.
He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.
God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.
We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.
When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.
Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.
When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.
If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.