Unconditional Love and Respect In Marriage

Unconditional love is embraced, yet we need to embrace unconditional respect. Scripture and science teach both, but many believe respect must be earned. However, as conditional love is toxic when a spouse says, "I will love you if..." conditional respect also damages when it says, "I can show you disrespect and contempt because you don't deserve it." Many fear unconditional respect, thinking it enables bad behavior. But I invite you to explore revolutionary insights on this Collection Page and be amazed, exclaiming, "Why didn't I know this before?"

Articles

What Flows Naturally from You Does Not from Your Spouse (And That’s Okay!)

I believe a husband is to act lovingly whether or not he feels it. God’s command in Ephesians 5:33 for a husband to love his wife is to be followed as an act of obedience, not as a conditional response toward her respect for him.

What Flows Naturally from You Does Not from Your Spouse (And That’s Okay!)

Marriage

min read

What Keeps You Motivated When the Love and Respect Are Not Reciprocal?

This should in no way be surprising to hear, but simply realizing the causes and effects of the Crazy Cycle does not mean you and your spouse will stop taking spins on them. Learning about her pink way of communicating and interpreting the world, as opposed to your blue perspective on life, does not mean you will always like her pink way of going about things or that she will always speak to you in a way that your blue hearing aids correctly interpret as a respectful response. And even if a wife always keeps Ephesians 5:33 at the forefront of her mind and shows unconditional respect, reinforced by the greatest Respect Talk known to man, this does not mean her husband will love her perfectly, all the time, in a way that is music to her pink ears.

What Keeps You Motivated When the Love and Respect Are Not Reciprocal?

Marriage

min read

Does Unconditional Respect Equal Becoming a Doormat?

One of the questions I hear the most is some variation of, “Are you telling me I have to unconditionally respect my husband’s bad behavior and become a door mat?Everyone knows respect must be earned!” Interestingly, in our culture we don’t have a problem understanding unconditional love… in fact, we see unconditional love as the right of every human being. Imagine expecting our children to “earn” our love!We would disapprove of such parenting. Most of us have no problem separating the person from their behavior when it comes to love.Love the person, hate the sin.Right?

Does Unconditional Respect Equal Becoming a Doormat?

Marriage

min read

Do You Use The Wrong Tools In Your Marriage?

In your experience, have you found that any of the following approaches have worked to influence, motivate, and energize your spouse? Keeping track of the other’s wrongs with resentment, nagging and criticizing without seeing any good, judging and shaming from a spirit of self-righteousness, getting angry to the point of showing hostility and contempt, manipulating to achieve a selfish or worthy agenda, blaming without any acknowledgment of one’s own faults, and fighting for control, not for win-win.

Do You Use The Wrong Tools In Your Marriage?

Marriage

min read

A Husband's Unconditional Love Works!

Would it surprise you to hear me say that there is no better method for a husband to use to better energize, motivate, and influence his wife than to simply love her unconditionally? When a wife recognizes that her husband has decided to be a man who authentically and consistently loves her no matter her response, she comes under conviction about her disrespectful reactions to him. When a wife discerns that her husband is not loving her based on her performance, but for the woman she is deep in her heart and for who God made her to be, this convicts and softens her.

A Husband's Unconditional Love Works!

Marriage

min read

Do You Fear The Word Unconditional?

Wives, even though 1 Peter 3:1, 2 recommends unconditional respect as a way to win a disobedient husband, you may have fears giving your husband unconditional respect. If so what might be one of those fears? Please share it with us.

Do You Fear The Word Unconditional?

Marriage

min read

Have You Shown Unconditional Respect?

In our love saturated culture, everyone understands and expects unconditional love. On the other hand, what is your reaction to the phrase “unconditional respect”? In 1 Peter 3:1,2 a wife is instructed that she can win her disobedient husband via her respectful behavior. These Scriptures say:

Have You Shown Unconditional Respect?

Marriage

min read

Unconditional Love and Respect Do Not Operate on a Scale of 1–10

Wives, what would you think if your husband said something like the following? “On a scale of 1–10, you have to be at least a 7 according to my standards before I will speak to you with a loving tone of voice. If you are a 6 or below, I will talk to you any way I like. If I sound a little rough or crude, get used to it.” Husbands, what would you think if your wife said something like the following? “On a scale of 1–10, you have to be at least a 7 according to my standards before I will speak to you respectfully. If you are a 6 or below, I will say what I like, usually with some contempt.”

Unconditional Love and Respect Do Not Operate on a Scale of 1–10

Marriage

min read