Testimonials

"…I am already putting forth a minute by minute conscious effort to speak kindly and respectfully ..... grace seasoned with salt !! I know in my heart it is first and foremost how Jesus interacted with everyone ..... HE ..... always treated EVERYONE with kindness and respect ..... no matter what ..... the woman caught in adultery .... ZACCHAEUS UP IN THE TREE .... and every individual HE interacted with .... I am excited ..... God is able to do exceedingly abundantly beyond my expectations ...... here we go!!!"

“LOTS to tell you about our journey – really a miracle. But let me give you one short example. Yesterday we were going to meet our son for brunch. We decided what time we would leave (I am a time guy – guess it goes with my job). At one minute before we were supposed to leave, she said, “I will be right there – go on to the car.” 10 minutes (which to me seemed like 10 hours) went by. She came out and got in the car – and let me add it is not unusual for this scenario to happen – and she normally would say, “You are just such a control freak where time is concerned. Don’t even start with me.” Yesterday she got in the car (and I had already decided to be loving – as if Jesus was getting in the car late - which He would never do!). She looked at me and said, “It was horribly disrespectful of me to be late. I am so very sorry. I should have gotten ready and then sorted the laundry. Will you forgive me?” I almost drove off into the grass. So…God is really working – in both of us. Probably no way to ever thank you. Ever. I am telling everyone about the DVD series and trying to get our pastor to show it at church on Sunday mornings.”

The love and respect course brought something nice in our relationship, which we did not even expect, because we did not know if we would hear anything new. I was cheering for the course because when I read the description I instinctively felt that we needed it. Although I had to start encouraging my husband to participate in the beginning, I must admit that during the course he became a major initiator of discussions and "homework", which enthused me and pleasantly surprised me. I noticed how strongly the content spoke to my husband and how it opened his heart, and helped him to express things he either did not know or know how to say it. We experienced each meeting like unwrapping a delicious candy that we enjoyed and savored ...The meetings were very pleasant, nothing intrusive, filled with a dice [sic] of humor and the richness of real experiences.

I just appreciate so much Joy’s heart and her father’s heart and their ability to communicate generationally—even cover that generational gap—and draw together themes that are timeless but need to be communicated in a way that is going to speak to an audience that is already cynical, already skeptical.

…I have been thinking about doing something for our marriage for some time, but my husband was not in favor. He was always bothered by the method—one on one, and of course, the financial aspect. He decided to try Building Blocks primarily because the course was practically free. After five years this was our first planned and regular time away doing something for the two of us.  At first, I was a bit skeptical about the religious aspect, since my husband has practically no experience or a negative attitude towards religion. But it turned out to be completely acceptable, probably because you do not reinforce it…My husband rarely wanted to think about these things—he thought it was meaningless. He heard things for the first time in Building Blocks and discovered things he never talked about before. Certain truths really inspired him and consequently, me too. We both remember lesson five: My Response is My Responsibility. It made the greatest impression on us. In fact, I think I will write this on the wall in the bedroom! Perhaps the most valuable insight for both is the fact that we are not alone in our troubles and that others have very similar challenges…

Personally, God has laid on my heart to do what I can to attract every woman in our church to accept the invitation to attend Respectfully Yours. This includes ALL women. Every woman has a man or men in her life that she can positively influence and encourage so that God's intentions for them as men are sought and desired. Too often, we hear about the church being woman heavy in spearheading and the doing. That's our nature, I know. But, we must do what we can to change the trajectory we are on that has resulted from decades of emasculation. Mothers, wives, sisters, grandmothers, aunts, female employees and employers, must begin to better relate to the male spirit and vigor that they were originally intended to demonstrate.

So far, 80 women have "graduated" from Respectfully Yours. I currently am leading 17 more through the 8-week curriculum.

I listened to the audio book but now I’m ordering the hard copy. There is so much amazing information in here, I need a better way to reference it! After having many years of marriage turmoil, I heard an explanation of the Crazy Cycle. In hearing this, I knew I needed to know more but marriage wounds were too fresh. Having two sons (9 and 4), I knew I needed understanding from God so that I would raise them with their masculine needs met to the best of my ability. This book has given me great illumination on the way God created the male gender and how to respond as their mother. It’s a book I need to reread every few years!

We have two boys, and our oldest is almost eleven. I know that he feels a lot of pressure on him to be a good example to his three younger siblings. I tell him I love him all the time, but I had never considered telling him I respect him. This last Tuesday, I was cleaning his room, and I found a note he had written. It said, “Failure=Benjamin.” He is very hard on himself. . . . I was devastated. I knew something had to change, and that something was us, his parents. We need to show him that we respect him. Before he got home from school, I made twelve notes and taped them around his room and hid them in places such as drawers and under his pillow: I love you. I respect you. I respect your ideas. I am so proud of you. You are the most creative person I know. You are a great big brother. As soon as he got home and saw the obvious ones I had posted, he ran to me and gave me a hug! His eyes were sparkling, and he was so excited. He immediately took the notes and made a board that said “compliment board” and taped them all to it. I have written him letters in the past to tell him I love him and how much he means to me (he is very sentimental and has kept every note and letter). But telling him I respect him went over the top. I have made a vow to respect my son and treat him like I want his future spouse to treat him.

For the first time I am using "Respectfully Yours" to facilitate a woman's study in our area. We are just finishing Chapter 4 but I just had to write and tell you what a wonderful study this has been so far. The importance of chapters 3 and 4 is incredible. There is great importance in all the scriptures you give, having accountability partners, and application. The ladies are challenged and have been responding. I am excited to continue on and see what God is going to do in the hearts and marriages of these ladies! Thank You.

I attended a "Respectfully Yours”…twice!  I loved it!  This study has helped me tremendously in my relationship with God and my marriage. I had been spinning my wheels on the Crazy Cycle for over 30 years. I failed miserably trying to do marriage my way in my own strength.  I thought my husband was the problem and I planned to divorce him after the kids left home.

God had another plan! (Thank you Lord!). He provided this study to teach me His truth, His wisdom, His ways. He loves me and wants what is best for me!  And I'm entrusting myself to Him.  "Respectfully Yours" taught me how to honor God and do marriage His way. To focus on what I need to do, not what my husband needs to do. I learned more about who God is and who I am in Him, how God made husbands and wives different, how to be obedient to God's command to respect my husband…unconditionally, regardless of whether or not he responds with the love I need from him. That seemed impossible…but I decided to try it. With God's grace, help and guidance I realized I can do this and it feels good and right. This study has made such a difference in my life and marriage. I am more at peace and my husband is responding to me in a more loving and caring way. My prayer is for every woman young and old to put their hope and trust in the Lord and do this study and experience the power of God in her life and marriage. God bless every one of you at Love and Respect and every study group leader as you spread the message.

"Praise The Lord! In my conversations today with my wife, I listened first to what she was saying and how, then responded with a calm tone. We we're dealing with a [...] issue, God showed up [and] we ended up paying [...] She was upset [...]. It could have been easy to have a different tone especially when I was on the job and busy with a client."

"Just wanted to say I really liked this episode of the email program [How Do You Motivate Your Spouse]. Really resonated with everything I see going on between my husband and I. Thank you."