3 Basic Biblical Truths About Marriage [Video]

Three biblical truths about marriage opened up to me around 1999 and I have been sharing them since. Though I had known these truths, I knew them vaguely. I really didn’t grasp and articulate them very well.

What are the 3 truths? Watch the video or read the post below!

1. I am not married in heaven.

Listen to the exchange recorded in the Bible between a leader of a Jewish group called the Sadducees, who did not believe in the resurrection--either of the dead or Jesus.

"The same day Sadducees came to him, who say that there is no resurrection, and they asked him a question, saying, “Teacher, Moses said, ‘If a man dies having no children, his brother must marry the widow and raise up offspring for his brother. ’ Now there were seven brothers among us. The first married and died, and having no offspring left his wife to his brother. So too the second and third, down to the seventh. After them all, the woman died. In the resurrection, therefore, of the seven, whose wife will she be? For they all had her.”  But Jesus answered them, “You are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven” (Matthew 22:23-30).

Did you catch our Lord’s statement? We will be unmarried in heaven.

One pastor said to me, “That’s good news. I’d rather be in hell than married to my wife in heaven.”

I think he struggled in his marriage!

In heaven we are male and female but remain unmarried. We do not procreate in marriage but are like angels--and angels do not marry.

Is this optional? What does it mean when Jesus tells us that we are unmarried in heaven?

He means that, while marriage is permanent on earth, it is not eternal.

Suffice it to say, the glory of this existence exceeds our grasp. By faith we must dream of these wonders yet to come. For now, on the topic of marriage, Jesus reveals that we are unmarried in heaven.

This begs the question then: Why are we married on earth if we are not married in heaven?

Most declare, “Oh, marriage is all about pleasure, procreation, companionship and care.”

Indeed! But there is something else which leads to the second truth that opened up to me.

2. I am married to demonstrate my love and reverence for Christ.

As I meditated on what the Apostle Paul wrote to the Ephesians and Colossians as recorded in the Scriptures, I realized that we do marriage “as to the Lord.”

For example, wives are to do what they do “as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22).

Jesus taught us to do what we do unto Him. He said:

“Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” (Matthew 24:40).

Paul applies this to marriage. In other words, a husband demonstrates his love for Christ by loving his wife and a wife shows her reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21) by respecting her husband.

As Sam Moser, former head of Nickelodeon, said to me after hearing this teaching, “This is about Christ and me not about my wife and me. I have never heard this before.”

In effect, we touch the heart of Christ who stands beyond the shoulder of our spouse. When we put on love and respect toward our spouse, we are loving and reverencing Christ. This is well-pleasing to the Lord.

Though a spouse is undeserving of love and respect, our hateful looks and rude comments displease Christ--we are not loving and reverencing Him at such moments. Such a teaching provides an incentive to cease all hostility and contempt.

What else provides an incentive to demonstrate my love and reverence for Christ in my marriage?

3. I am rewarded in heaven when I do marriage God’s way.

Paul unfolds this overarching truth to the Ephesians and Colossians, saying,

"Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free” (Ephesians 6:7,8 NIV).

God rewards what we do when we do it as if we were doing it toward the Lord Jesus.

In a parallel passage he pens,

"Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve” (Colossians 3:23,24 NASB)

Though in the immediate context he addresses slaves toward masters, Paul also applies this truth to husbands and wives and to parents and children, whether slave or free.

When we put on love and respect in marriage, everything counts for eternity. Nothing is wasted.

People who argue that they have no reason to love and respect in their marriage and have lost all motivation need to remind themselves of these things:

I do believe in the Lord.

I believe He is present beyond the shoulder of my spouse.

I do believe I can please Him even when my spouse refuses to respond to me.

I do believe I can love and reverence the Lord.

I believe I can do marriage God’s way and receive His eternal reward even if my spouse fails to love and respect me.

-Dr. E