Why Would Someone Not Want to Communicate That Which Is True?

In my book Before You Hit Send, I quote a woman who said, “You know that little thing in the back of your brain that tells you not to say something before you say it? Well, I don’t have that little thing.

I suppose all of us wonder occasionally if we lack that little thing in the back of our brains. We know that we are to think before we speak, but we end up saying something that we should not say.

The good news is that we all have that little thing in the back of our brain, but we just need to remember to ask ourselves four questions before we communicate. And by communicate I mean not just by emails, texts, or social media, but by over-the-phone talking and face-to-face discussions.

Why Would Someone Not Want to Communicate That Which Is True?

These four questions serve as a checklist. And after going through the entire checklist, if we can answer all four in the affirmative, then it is okay to speak up.

But if we cannot answer all four of them with a confident and resounding “yes,” we need to refrain from communicating at this time.

The Crazy Cycles Between Managers and Employees, Part 2

In part 1 we discussed the dynamics found in conflicts involving a male manager with both male and female employees. The love and respect principles are equally as important to consider in work situations that involve a female manager.

The Crazy Cycles Between Managers and Employees

What about the female manager toward the female employee? The female manager can be a caring woman who appears unloving to a female employee.

A friend of mine told me of a female employee shattered emotionally to the point of tears because a woman from the home office verbally mistreated her over the phone. The authoritarian attitude and lack of sensitivity and concern left the female weeping in the women’s bathroom. It was so painful to her that the other women came to a male manager to report what happened. Fortunately, he addressed this with the home office and the female manager apologized, which circumvented the Crazy Cycle.

The Crazy Cycles Between Managers and Employees, Part 1

I believe men and women need love and respect as human beings in the workplace. Though there are daily demands to fulfill the mission of the organization apart from these emotional attitudes toward each other, I do not believe that a company will perform well when the men and women get on what I call the Crazy Cycle. Without love (“caring” would be a better term for the workplace) a woman reacts without respect, and without respect a man reacts without love (without caring).

But added to this craziness is the tension between managers and employees. When employees feel unloved (uncared for) they react in ways that feel disrespectful to managers, and when managers feel disrespected they react in ways that feel unloving (uncaring) to employees.

The Crazy Cycle Between Managers and Employees

These reactions are the root reason for the ongoing conflicts between management and employees when there is a chronic craziness. The topics on the table are secondary when the inner feeling one or both have is, “You really don’t care about me or respect me.”

Over the course of two articles, let’s consider the male and female manager and the male and female employee.

After The “Oops” Just Apologize And Make It Right — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 116

When we miscommunicate, most people readily forgive when we ask them to forgive us. After all, they themselves have misspoken and have little interest in throwing stones. This is especially so when they see us making an honest mistake. What drives people nuts is when they feel that we spoke or wrote something that was designed to hurt or offend them, and we have no intentions of owning up to it, apologizing, and correcting our error. Join Emerson and Jonathan this as they discuss this topic and some examples of what to do if we hurt someone long ago. Also check out a recent publicized example of an apology HERE.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE, on Stitcher HERE, and on the Love and Respect App HERE.

After the Oops Just Apologize and Make it Right

Have You Seen These Crazy Cycles Between Managers and Employees? — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 115

Men and women need love and respect as human beings in the workplace. Though there are daily demands to fulfill the mission of the organization apart from these emotional attitudes toward each other, that company will perform well when the men and women get on what I call the Crazy Cycle. Without love (care) a woman reacts without respect and without respect a man reacts without love (care). But added to this craziness is the tension between managers and employees. When employees feel unloved (uncared for) they react in ways that feel disrespectful to managers and when managers feel disrespected they react in ways that feel unloving (uncaring) to employees. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this new topic.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE, on Stitcher HERE, and on the Love and Respect App HERE.

Have you Seen These Crazy Cycles Between Managers and Employees?

In Business, What’s Love and Respect Got to Do With It? — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 114

There are two elements that are foundational to the long-term success of an organization. As odd as this may sound, they are love and respect. Said negatively and drastically, if there is hostility and contempt, the organization cannot continue to succeed if it has succeeded, at least not significantly. Put it this way, good people leave and customers sense something is wrong. Join Emerson and Jonathan as they discuss this topic of business, which does apply to other environments such as teacher and student, coach and player, etc.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE, on Stitcher HERE, and on the Love and Respect App HERE.

In Business, Whats Love and Respect Got to Do With It?

Nine Episodes of Untrue Communications: Can You Relate? Part II — Love and Respect Podcast Ep 111

In part 2 of this two part series, Emerson and Jonathan continue to discuss the topic of lying. This stems from Emerson’s recent writing for a new book coming out in 2017. Throughout the 9 episodes or examples of untrue communication consider which ones you have observed and how often you think such things happen, whether with you or others. Part 2 also includes a story that continues to impact Emerson. [See Part 1 Here]

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE, on Stitcher HERE, and on the Love and Respect App HERE.

Read the transcript HERE.

Episode 111 - Nine Episodes of Untrue Communications - Can You Relate - Part II

9 Episodes of Untrue Communications, Part I — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 110

In this two part series, Emerson and Jonathan discuss the topic of lying. This stems from Emerson’s recent writing for a new book coming out in 2017. Throughout the 9 episodes or examples of untrue communication consider which ones you have observed and how often you think such things happen, whether with you or others.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE, on Stitcher HERE, and on the Love and Respect App HERE.

Episode 110 - Nine Episodes of Untrue Communications - Can You Relate - Part I