Most wives I have met actually do long for their husbands to be the spiritual leader of their family. They are not resisting his leadership; they truly do believe it’s biblical. However, they fear that he will not take their opinions into consideration. Furthermore, they fear that he wants the authority as the leader without exercising the responsibility of a leader.
Leaders from different countries, such as the United States and France, have disagreements at times and do things that feel uncaring and dishonoring to each other. Each feels offended. However, allies always keep the larger alliance and friendship in mind. Though they may be miffed and enraged by comments and actions of the other, each absorbs the offense and forgives, for the sake of the bigger picture.
This should in no way be surprising to hear, but simply realizing the causes and effects of the Crazy Cycle does not mean you and your spouse will stop taking spins on them. Learning about her pink way of communicating and interpreting the world, as opposed to your blue perspective on life, does not mean you will always like her pink way of going about things or that she will always speak to you in a way that your blue hearing aids correctly interpret as a respectful response. And even if a wife always keeps Ephesians 5:33 at the forefront of her mind and shows unconditional respect, reinforced by the greatest Respect Talk known to man, this does not mean her husband will love her perfectly, all the time, in a way that is music to her pink ears.