In the near future, I will be going deeper on the topic of sex in marriage for all of our Love and Respect friends.
The title? Love and Respect (and Sex): Coming Together as Husband and Wife.
Interested in learning more? Would you like to add your stories to the content? Read on, and I’ll show you how.
For over forty years as a pastor-teacher and pastoral counselor, I have exposited 1 Corinthians 7:3–5 with great excitement. In that passage are nuggets of gold for husbands and wives concerning human sexuality. There we learn four beautiful truths that all married believers need to believe, prize, and follow. God calls husbands and wives to honor their:
- mutual sexual needs
- equal sexual responsibilities
- equal sexual say
- mutual sexual agreement
One, each of us in marriage must value and validate the way God designed the other with sexual desires, needs, and vulnerabilities (1 Corinthians 7:1–2).
Two, each of us must fulfill our God-given responsibility to meet the other’s sexual need as a reflection of our general concern and devotion to please the other as God calls us to do each day (1 Corinthians 7:3, 33, 34).
Three, we have equal sexual authority given to us by God and have both the right to request more sexual intimacy and the right to ask less, with neither being wrong, just different (1 Corinthians 7:4).
Four, because we have equal say and equal responsibility in meeting mutual sexual needs that differ, God intends for us to find a win-win agreement (7:5).
For this reason, based on Ephesians 5:33, I teach that husbands are to love their wives so much that they seek to respect these mutual sexual needs, equal sexual responsibilities, and equal sexual say, and then find a mutual sexual agreement about sexual intimacy. The same applies to the wife. She is to respect her husband’s inner heart, based on Ephesians 5:33, which means loving him so much that she too recognizes their mutual sexual needs, equal sexual responsibilities, and equal say in order to find mutual sexual agreement.