The Marriage Mindset

Do you believe that if you have natural talents and passions in a specific area then your development of that gifting and pursuits of that interest should be a piece of cake?

Or, do you believe that even though you have God-given abilities and deep-seated curiosities, you must exert time and effort because it won’t all be easy street?

The Marriage Mindset

For example, Michael Phelps and LeBron James had within their DNA, traits the rest of us envy. Are these superstars world renowned because what they did was a piece of cake for them, as a result of their God-given abilities? Or, though genetically they might be considered freaks of nature, did they work hard at developing their talents?

Put another way, could there be dozens of Michael Phelpses and LeBron Jameses out there (freaks of nature), with a similar genetic makeup, but they crawled out of the pool never to return or left the gym for good because it demanded too much work?

Many people have the mindset that if you are a science geek then doing science will be easy. Others believe that if you have natural talent as an artist, then painting will be a breeze. For the naturally gifted, according to many, there will be no obstacles or exhaustion when they set out to develop what God has already given them a propensity for.

Does the Eden Inside Your Heart Bring You Closer to Your Spouse or Drive You Apart?

Have you noticed yet that the paradise of Eden still remains in your heart? Have you recognized where the Eden in your heart has affected your relationship with your spouse and your expectations in your marriage?

Let me explain.

Does the Eden Inside Your Heart Bring You Closer to Your Spouse or Drive You Apart?

In the beginning, God created man “in his own image . . . male and female he created them” (Gen. 1:27). Then after all of Creation was finished, the passage continues by saying, “And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good” (v. 31).

The first man and first woman were created in God’s image, as all of us still are even today. But where we differ from Adam and Eve, whom God declared as created “very good,” is that they were placed in paradise as two unfallen, or perfect, human beings.

Why Would Someone Not Want to Communicate That Which Is True?

In my book Before You Hit Send, I quote a woman who said, “You know that little thing in the back of your brain that tells you not to say something before you say it? Well, I don’t have that little thing.

I suppose all of us wonder occasionally if we lack that little thing in the back of our brains. We know that we are to think before we speak, but we end up saying something that we should not say.

The good news is that we all have that little thing in the back of our brain, but we just need to remember to ask ourselves four questions before we communicate. And by communicate I mean not just by emails, texts, or social media, but by over-the-phone talking and face-to-face discussions.

Why Would Someone Not Want to Communicate That Which Is True?

These four questions serve as a checklist. And after going through the entire checklist, if we can answer all four in the affirmative, then it is okay to speak up.

But if we cannot answer all four of them with a confident and resounding “yes,” we need to refrain from communicating at this time.