Saying “Thanks” Versus Being Grateful – Part I — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 124

We can say “thanks” but not be grateful. We can mouth words but our hearts are elsewhere. We are fixated on ourselves. We have probably all seen this in ourselves. The Bible says in 2 Timothy 3:2 that people can be “lovers of self… ungrateful.” We can even sing a song of thanks while in a worship service at church but inwardly dwell on the hurt and offense we feel toward someone who wronged us the day before. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week in this two part series which starts with how we can be grateful for the tangible things in our lives.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE, on Stitcher HERE, and on the Love and Respect App HERE.

Saying Thanks vs Being Grateful, Part 1

The Difference Between Saying “Thanks” and Being Grateful, Part 3

In part 2, we discussed the need to focus on the tangible things that we do have instead of on what we do not, in order to help develop a more grateful heart. But there is one more suggestion on what our focus should center in on.

The Difference Between Saying "Thanks" and Being Grateful

Two, focus on the intangible things that we do have instead of fixating on the tangibles we do not have.

Those of us who lack material goods could whine, “Well, I cannot be grateful for tangible blessings since I have so few.”

We have good news on this front. The Bible declares a set of truths that ought to refresh all of us and engender gratefulness.

The Difference Between Saying “Thanks” and Being Grateful, Part 2

In part 1 of this Thanksgiving-themed article, we discussed the idea of being like a parrot in our giving thanks: we say the words with our mouth but have no heartfelt understanding behind the words and do not truly have a grateful heart. But I have two suggestions for you on how to live your life more with a grateful heart.

The Difference Between Saying Thanks and Being Grateful, Part 2

One, focus on the tangible things that we do have instead of fixating on what we do not have.

Not to be trite but this sage advice serves as a fitting reminder: “I complained about not having shoes until I saw a man without feet.” We have heard this but knowing it to be true and acting on this truth are not the same. All of us need the reminder to rejoice over having two feet instead of complaining that the high-heeled shoes don’t perfectly match the new outfit. Mature, grateful people never lose sight of their feet. For that matter, they do not lose sight of the fact that they were invited to a special event where they will dance as a couple, have grandparents nearby to babysit the kids, have the money to enjoy a great meal, and will be served by people who could be single mothers who have no high heels.

The Difference Between Saying “Thanks” and Being Grateful, Part 1

We can say “thanks” but not be grateful.

We can mouth words but our hearts are elsewhere. We are fixated on ourselves. I know, because I have seen this in myself. The Bible says in 2 Timothy 3:2 that people can be “lovers of self . . . ungrateful.”

We can even sing a song of thanks while in a worship service at church but inwardly dwell on the hurt and offense we feel toward someone who wronged us the day before.

We can be like parrots. Though parrots do not have teeth nor lips, they learn words, phrases, and songs. They have an extraordinary ability to imitate tones. With keen hearing and a complex voice box, they reproduce the sounds they hear. But that’s all they do. They parrot. They have no comprehension of the meaning of those words. There is no heartfelt understanding when saying, “Thank you.” The parrot is not grateful but merely mimicking the words even when singing Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World.”

The Difference Between Saying Thanks and Being Grateful, Part 1

I can be just like that parrot, and so can you.

A parent instructs an eight-year-old boy, “Say ‘thank you’ for the ice cream and cake.” He obeys by repeating, “Thank you.” But is his “thank you” sincere?

As an immature child, he is less than grateful and more focused on his appetites. He selfishly zeros in on the dessert to satisfy his sweet tooth. He says “thank you” to insure he’ll get his cake and ice cream. He isn’t thinking how fortunate he is compared to the rest of the world that have no refrigeration to store ice cream or ovens to bake a cake.

Parenting: Chronic Anger or Chronic Appeasement? Part II — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 123

Emerson and Jonathan continue this important topic in part 2 this week, including adding a third component of apathy. What is the Issue? Children need to honor parents and show this in their respectful attitude and obedient actions.  However, many parents do not always feel respected nor obeyed so they seek methods that will motivate the child to be respectful and obedient. How do we deal with this Issue? There are right ways of dealing with this and wrong ways.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE, on Stitcher HERE, and on the Love and Respect App HERE.

Parenting: Chronic Anger or Chronic Appeasement? Part II

The Question Every Husband Must Decode

Growing up I noticed that my dad made a mistake in relationship to my mother.

He would get angry and harsh with Mom. It appeared as though he was saying to her, “I’ll teach you. I’ll get angry in order to teach you to show me more respect. I’ll remain embittered until you change. I will be harsh when I feel you are disrespectful.”

Of course, my mother heard a different message. She felt that Dad closed off in anger because he was declaring, “I don’t love you!” So this caused her to deflate. Not infrequently she reacted in ways that felt disrespectful to him! His mistake plus her reaction put them on what I refer to as the Crazy Cycle: Without love she reacts without respect. Without respect he reacts without love.

The Question Every Husband Must Decode

However, a closed-off and embittered husband does not influence the spirit of his wife. Her need is for love, not to learn to be respectful on the heels of a closed-off, harsh, and embittered husband. This is why Colossians 3:19 instructs, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.”

My observation is that when an embittered husband closes himself off in anger, he appears harsh and mean. Sadly, though, whatever his wife appears to be doing that is making him mad isn’t what is really going on. She isn’t trying to make him mad; instead, she is often crying out for his love.

The Crazy Cycles Between Managers and Employees, Part 2

In part 1 we discussed the dynamics found in conflicts involving a male manager with both male and female employees. The love and respect principles are equally as important to consider in work situations that involve a female manager.

The Crazy Cycles Between Managers and Employees

What about the female manager toward the female employee? The female manager can be a caring woman who appears unloving to a female employee.

A friend of mine told me of a female employee shattered emotionally to the point of tears because a woman from the home office verbally mistreated her over the phone. The authoritarian attitude and lack of sensitivity and concern left the female weeping in the women’s bathroom. It was so painful to her that the other women came to a male manager to report what happened. Fortunately, he addressed this with the home office and the female manager apologized, which circumvented the Crazy Cycle.

Parenting: Chronic Anger or Chronic Appeasement? Part I — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 122

What is the Issue? Children need to honor parents and show this in their respectful attitude and obedient actions.  However, many parents do not always feel respected nor obeyed so they seek methods that will motivate the child to be respectful and obedient. How do we deal with this Issue? There are right ways of dealing with this and wrong ways. Join Emerson and Jonathan in Part I this week as they explore this topic.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE, on Stitcher HERE, and on the Love and Respect App HERE.

Parenting: Chronic Anger or Chronic Appeasement Part 1

The Crazy Cycles Between Managers and Employees, Part 1

I believe men and women need love and respect as human beings in the workplace. Though there are daily demands to fulfill the mission of the organization apart from these emotional attitudes toward each other, I do not believe that a company will perform well when the men and women get on what I call the Crazy Cycle. Without love (“caring” would be a better term for the workplace) a woman reacts without respect, and without respect a man reacts without love (without caring).

But added to this craziness is the tension between managers and employees. When employees feel unloved (uncared for) they react in ways that feel disrespectful to managers, and when managers feel disrespected they react in ways that feel unloving (uncaring) to employees.

The Crazy Cycle Between Managers and Employees

These reactions are the root reason for the ongoing conflicts between management and employees when there is a chronic craziness. The topics on the table are secondary when the inner feeling one or both have is, “You really don’t care about me or respect me.”

Over the course of two articles, let’s consider the male and female manager and the male and female employee.

8 Ways To Jump Off The Crazy Cycle — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 121

Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss 8 ways to prevent and get off the Crazy Cycle (see Episode 1 for a deeper explanation of the Crazy Cycle. Examples include what to do when you see the spirit of your spouse deflate, accepting some trouble as normal, and trusting in each other’s goodwill.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE, on Stitcher HERE, and on the Love and Respect App HERE.

8 Ways To Jump Off The Crazy Cycle