The Four Seasons of Marriage – Part III — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 120

Join Emerson and Jonathan for Part III of this three part series. Why is marital paradise lost? Why do couples feel they have left Eden and live in a jungle of sorts?  Since Scripture indicates couples will have trouble in this life why are husbands and wives unprepared?  The answer is simple: they do not anticipate and accept the four seasons.  In one way or another all couples will go through the four seasons.  Those who go through them without defeat do so because they anticipate and accept the process.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE, on Stitcher HERE, and on the Love and Respect App HERE.

Tune in to Part I HERE and Part II HERE.

The Four Seasons of Marriage Part III

Both Men and Women Tend and Mend People With Problems But Start Out Differently! Part 2

In part 1 we discussed many of the different gender traits in men and women, proven by science and recognized by most, including Hollywood. These differences are the core reasons why men and women approach problems differently, in the way they tend and mend others.

But is it possible that these differences can actually complement each other, rather than conflict with each other, when it comes to men and women approaching problems together?

Both Men and Women Tend and Mend People With Problems But Start Out Differently! Part 2

When Men and Women Get Together

It has been said, when women get together with women, they talk about things important to them as women.

When men get together they talk about things important to them as men.

But when men and women get together as couples they talk about things that are of interest to neither! Though a joke, there is truth here because usually before the evening is over the three women are chatting in their huddle and the three men are interacting in theirs.

In marriage, most wives wish to connect with their husbands to give the report to build rapport, and that report consists of communicating her concerns about the people in her life. She enjoys doing this regularly with her husband. How many husbands can hardly wait to get home to give the report to build rapport? Fewer than women desire.

Both Men and Women Tend and Mend People With Problems But Start Out Differently! Part 1

A woman tends and mends people with problems. A man tends and mends problems that people have.

Both tend and mend. But they start in different places. Allow me to explain.

Both Men and Women Tend and Mend People With Problems But Start Out Differently

Gender Traits

Over the years research has repeatedly found masculine and feminine traits that differ.

Generally speaking, women evidence these traits: gentleness, modesty, humility, sacrifice, supportiveness, empathy, compassion, tenderness, cooperative, connectivity, nurturance, intuitiveness, sensitivity, expressiveness, responsiveness, sentimentality, verbal, and unselfishness. I believe most women agree with these qualities about themselves and view these as evidence that they are caring human beings and wish to be loved because of these qualities.

Generally speaking, men evidence these traits: strength, protectiveness, provider-ness, courage, strong will, competitiveness, self-confidence, ambition, independence, less risk averse, assertiveness, initiative, rationality, logic, analytical, and emotional control. I believe most men agree with these qualities about themselves and view these as evidence that they are honorable human beings who wish to be respected because of these qualities.

The Four Seasons of Marriage, Part 2 — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 119

Join Emerson and Jonathan for Part II of this three part series. Why is marital paradise lost? Why do couples feel they have left Eden and live in a jungle of sorts?  Since Scripture indicates couples will have trouble in this life why are husbands and wives unprepared?  The answer is simple: they do not anticipate and accept the four seasons.  In one way or another all couples will go through the four seasons.  Those who go through them without defeat do so because they anticipate and accept the process.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE, on Stitcher HERE, and on the Love and Respect App HERE.

Did you miss Part 1? Tune in HERE.

Episode 119 - The Fours Seasons of Marriage Part 2

When Cousins as Adults Need to Confront the Parents Who Aren’t Getting Along

Suppose multiple sets of parents are fighting as brothers and sisters because an inheritance was unevenly divided or something happened that created bitterness among them to the point that they are no longer really talking or spending time together as before.

When Cousins as Adults Need to Confront the Parents Who Aren't Getting Along

The adult kids could say:

“You have been honorable parents, and in this matter of the inheritance, you have felt dishonored. Is there anything we can do as children to reestablish the sense of mutual honor everyone showed toward each other prior to this? We need your strength as parents and long for us to return to how it used to be. We see you as mature people and need your leadership to restore things.

“Can you be the one to make this happen? Can you be the one who helps the family move forward and be how it used to be? We need your wisdom. Does someone need to apologize? Does someone need to forgive? Or, is the sense of unfairness and dishonor so colossal that everyone will go to their graves bitter while watching all the kids go their separate ways because the moms and dads have been so hurt that they prefer to remain offended until death? Is it wrong for us kids to ask for the moms and dads to forgive each other as you taught us as kids to forgive each other?

The Four Step Game Plan to Apologize and Make It Right

When we miscommunicate, most people readily forgive us when we ask them to do so. After all, they themselves have misspoken and have little interest in throwing stones. This is especially so when they see us making an honest mistake.

What drives people nuts is when they feel that we spoke or wrote something that was designed to hurt or offend them, and we have no intentions of owning up to it, apologizing, and correcting our error.

People have a low threshold when they feel we deliberately communicate what is untrue, unkind, unnecessary, or unclear, and then act as though we have done nothing wrong. A cavalier attitude exacerbates the problem.

The Four Step Game Plan to Apologize and Make It Right

Solomon revealed this to us in Proverbs 6:2–3: “If you have been snared with the words of your mouth, have been caught with the words of your mouth, do this then, my son, and deliver yourself; since you have come into the hand of your neighbor, go, humble yourself, and importune your neighbor.”

Here is the four-step game plan for apologizing to others and making things right again.

The Four Seasons of Marriage, Part I — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 118

Why is marital paradise lost?  Why do couples feel they have left Eden and live in a jungle of sorts?  Since Scripture indicates couples will have trouble in this life why are husbands and wives unprepared?  The answer is simple: they do not anticipate and accept the four seasons.  In one way or another all couples will go through the four seasons.  Those who go through them without defeat do so because they anticipate and accept the process. Join Emerson and Jonathan for Part I of this series.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE, on Stitcher HERE, and on the Love and Respect App HERE.

The Four Seasons of Marriage-Part I

Did God Create Us Equal, But Different?

This article is part the final part in the “What’s Really Going on Here?” Series. Over the span of six articles, we took a look at twelve different stories and begin to ask ourselves, what is really going on in this story? Is the husband overlooking his wife’s need for love? Is the wife overlooking her husband’s need for respect? How can they ever get off of the Crazy Cycle?

Don’t Miss These Other Parts in the Series:

  1. She Needs Love, He Needs Respect
  2. Can Apparent Lack of Love and Respect Offend?
  3. God’s Simple Revelation to Stop the Crazy Cycle
  4. The First Sin after Adam and Eve Sinned
  5. Can We Come Across in a Way that Our Spouse Doesn’t See Our Goodwill?

Did God Create Us Equal, But Different?


The Word: Did God create us equal but with different needs, which creates normal tension?

1 Corinthians 7:4—“The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”

I asked the Lord who has the final authority here, as it pertains to the husband’s and wife’s bodies. He spoke in that inaudible voice, Yes. This passage reveals God’s intention for some tension. We know from research that some tension is needed to keep the passion alive. As a bridge needs tension, so your marriage needs some tension. Don’t be freaked out by some conflict.

Submission and Mutual Submission – Yikes! — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 117

Submission, mutual submission, headship, authority, responsibility, equality, and decision making. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss these very light topics which stir up very few strong emotions in people 🙂

**Jonathan’s audio sounds poor and the issue was a bad cable.  Our apologies. 

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE, on Stitcher HERE, and on the Love and Respect App HERE.

Submission and Mutual Submission -- Yikes!

Can We Come Across in a Way that Our Spouse Doesn’t See Our Goodwill?

This article is part 5 of 6 in the “What’s Really Going on Here?” Series. Over the span of six articles, I want us to take a look at twelve different stories and begin to ask ourselves, what is really going on in this story? Is the husband overlooking his wife’s need for love? Is the wife overlooking her husband’s need for respect? How can they ever get off of the Crazy Cycle?

Don’t Miss These Other Parts in the Series:

  1. She Needs Love, He Needs Respect
  2. Can Apparent Lack of Love and Respect Offend?
  3. God’s Simple Revelation to Stop the Crazy Cycle
  4. The First Sin after Adam and Eve Sinned

The Word: Can we come across in such a way that our spouse does not see our goodwill?

Can We Come Across in a Way That Our Spouse Doesn't See Our Goodwill?

Jesus said, in Matthew 5:16, “Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.”

Did you catch that phrase “in such a way”? Assuming one’s motive is good, then one needs to be mindful of how one is coming across to a spouse.

If as a husband your wife is personalizing your reactions “in such a way” that she feels you are unloving, you need to come across to her “in such a way” that she does not personalize like this. As a husband you need to ask, “Am I coming across to my wife ‘in such a way’ that the light of my love is clearly seen? Or, am I coming across ‘in such a way’ that she feels unloved?”

The First Sin after Adam and Eve Sinned

This article is part 4 of 6 in the “What’s Really Going on Here?” Series. Over the span of six articles, I want us to take a look at twelve different stories and begin to ask ourselves, what is really going on in this story? Is the husband overlooking his wife’s need for love? Is the wife overlooking her husband’s need for respect? How can they ever get off of the Crazy Cycle?

The Word: The first sin Adam and Eve committed after they sinned was blame placing.

The First Sin After Adam and Eve Sinned

We read in Genesis 3:12, “The man said, ‘The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate.’” In one sentence, Adam blamed God and the woman. Without getting into heavy theology, assuming Adam could not have been perfect, he could have been less imperfect after he sinned. Instead, he placed blame.

Then the next verse says, “Then the Lord God said to the woman, ‘What is this you have done?’ And the woman said, ‘The serpent deceived me, and I ate.’” Assuming Eve could not have been perfect, she could have been less imperfect after she sinned. Instead, she placed blame.

After The “Oops” Just Apologize And Make It Right — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 116

When we miscommunicate, most people readily forgive when we ask them to forgive us. After all, they themselves have misspoken and have little interest in throwing stones. This is especially so when they see us making an honest mistake. What drives people nuts is when they feel that we spoke or wrote something that was designed to hurt or offend them, and we have no intentions of owning up to it, apologizing, and correcting our error. Join Emerson and Jonathan this as they discuss this topic and some examples of what to do if we hurt someone long ago. Also check out a recent publicized example of an apology HERE.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE, on Stitcher HERE, and on the Love and Respect App HERE.

After the Oops Just Apologize and Make it Right