The Double Standard of Some Husbands, Part 2

Don’t miss our blog post series, The Double Standard of Some Wives

In part 1, we laid out in detail the clear double standard that many husbands hold that tells them they are allowed to gaze upon other women since God made them visually oriented, but that their wives are not to do the same.

No doubt this is a common struggle in marriages across the land and throughout time, but it’s not enough to just admit the double standard. What can we do about it?

The Double Standard of Some Husbands, Part 2

The Double Standard of Some Husbands, Part 1

Do husbands have a double standard?

May I invite you to consider one that I have observed?

Some wives hear from their husbands, “I can look at women because God designed me to look at the female figure, but you must not look at men.”

The Double Standard of Some Husbands

I am not talking about viewing pornography. That is a different matter. Instead, I am referring to the husband who habitually looks at women around him. At a restaurant he looks at the shapely waitresses as they walk by. At the mall, he checks out the women walking by him as he sits at the bench waiting for his wife. At church, he looks over at the two beautiful blonds talking by the stain-glassed windows.

When his wife looks at him, she sees him looking at the attractive women.

Do Some Wives Live by A Double Standard, And Is That Ok Because They Are Vulnerable Victims? Part II — Love and Respect Podcast Ep 106

In part 2 Emerson answers the question, “Where do we go from here?” continuing the discussion of the double standard that confuses some husbands and will definitely confuse young sons who will see men and women as equal but women getting a pass for having attitudes that when manifested in men are condemned as self-centered arrogance. Look at the next couple of episodes for this topic as it relates to men.

Listen to Part 1 HERE.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE, on Stitcher HERE, and on the Love and Respect App HERE.

Read the transcript HERE.

Love and Respect Podcast Ep 106

Do We Expect Others to Be Truthful With Us, As We Are With Them?

My friend Sam Ericsson, who graduated from Harvard Law School and founded Advocates International, was instrumental in helping various nations draft new constitutions, especially those countries that formed after the Soviet Union gave them their independence. Sam told me that his chief point of advocacy with the leaders of these countries seeking his legal counsel was to create laws based on the Golden Rule. Sam conveyed that there is no better way to establish just laws than by doing to others what you would want done to you in the same situation. Sam shared with me that such laws are not difficult to figure out when the Golden Rule is acted on honestly with good will. If a person or a nation wants to know what is right, they can discover it by applying the Golden Rule.

Do We Expect Others to Be Truthful With Us, As We Are With Them?

Only power hungry people who care solely for their own agenda and not “justice for all” suppress the Golden Rule. Any leader or follower who thinks they are an exception believes “Might Makes Right” and that their agenda alone matters in life.

Creating the Golden Rule of Communication, we can figure what to say when we pause long enough to ask: Am I about to communicate unto others in the way I would want them to communicate unto me given the roles were reversed?

We Must Think Before We Speak

During the 2016 NBA Finals, a player’s wife, understandably hurting and upset for her husband who had just been ejected from a game, fired out a tweet from her seat in the arena accusing the NBA of being rigged and out to get her husband for the sake of ratings. An hour and a half later, she deleted the tweet and apologized, but the damage had already been done. With 450,000 followers on Twitter, she had already seen her unfortunate tweet retweeted thousands of times, and the backlash had begun.

Weeks later, her apologies continued: “I was just a fan in that moment so I didn’t think about the ramifications. I regret the way that I voiced how hurt I was. I felt hurt for [my husband], and I didn’t mean to offend anybody. Obviously, what I wrote is not what I think about what he does for a living.”

Do Some Wives Live by A Double Standard, And Is That Ok Because They Are Vulnerable Victims? Part I — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 105

In this week’s episode Emerson and Jonathan highlight a double standard that confuses some husbands and will definitely confuse our young sons who will see men and women as equal but women getting a pass for having attitudes that when manifested in men are condemned as self-centered arrogance. Stay tuned for Part II of this topic and then the same topic as it applies to men in the coming weeks.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE, on Stitcher HERE, and on the Love and Respect App HERE.

Read the transcript HERE.

Episode 105 - Do Some Wives Live by A Double Standard, And Is That Ok Because They Are Vulnerable Victims Part I

Feel Stupid and Wrong? Part 2: Don’t Let It Define You

When we feel stupid and wrong in the marriage, we can draw conclusions about ourselves that are untrue in the eyes of God and react in ways that wont remedy the pain. In part 1 we discussed a husband who felt that the remedy for his situation was divorce.

Now hear from a wife who felt stupid up against her brilliant husband and began to believe the lie that she really was stupid and wrong.

Feel Stupid And Wrong- Part 1- Dont Let it Define You

I was wondering if you have any experience dealing with a wife’s stupidity as a barrier to motivating a husband to love? I know that the “I” in “C.H.A.I.R.S.” means to respect a husband’s insight, and I do, but that’s easy because my husband is brilliant. He’s a nuclear engineer, writes music, you name it, he can do it. I, on the other hand, am pretty average . . . possibly a little below at times :).

My husband, while he loves me, is continually exasperated by this and cannot seem to get over it. Anytime I make a mistake (and I’m not talking about disrespectful communications, I’m talking about forgetting to buy milk at the store, breaking a glass by accident, or not being able to give good directions; things that other people see as just everyday life) he blows up . . . I know it is good to be aware of one’s flaws but the constant criticism makes me sad.

Feel Stupid and Wrong? Part 1: Divorce is Not the Remedy

Listen to this husband who wrote me:

My wife and I have had problems in our marriage for a while . . . I believe we have a much bigger problem in our marriage than my wife does . . . I have hit rock bottom and am truly unhappy. I find my wife more and more controlling and manipulative as I am the one who always has to purposely “lose” a fight/argument before she gets happy. I am very concerned about my wife’s happiness and if she is not happy I can’t be happy either. So, I have to be the one who is always wrong and lose the arguments to make her happy. However, I remain unhappy. This leaves me miserable and I can’t take it anymore. One of the things she complains to me about is that I am not supportive enough . . . You see, in a discussion we may have different opinions, and when I have a hard time agreeing with her she gives me the line how unsupportive I am . . . Personally I am at a point now that I have been thinking of divorce as the only solution but I have never said that to my wife as I am scared of her reaction and I don’t want to say anything to hurt her if we can solve our marriage problems.

When we feel stupid and wrong in the marriage, we can draw conclusions about ourselves that are untrue in the eyes of God and react in ways that wont remedy the pain. For one, as the husband who wrote me, the person feeling stupid and wrong considers divorce as the remedy.

The pain is so real this man entertained leaving his wife for good. However, this man was neither wrong nor stupid, so why entertain divorce to be the remedy since that does not solve the problem? Divorce is not the answer to his problem, especially since he isn’t wrong per se. But like many, he is unhappy so he thinks divorce will lead to happiness.

What Are The Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships? Part 2 — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 104

Part II – Rick Warren invited Emerson to speak at Saddleback Church on the topic of relationships. Presented to more than 20,000 people, listen in as Emerson focuses on these three areas:

1. What Are the Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships?

2. What Happens When We Innocently Overlook These Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships?

3. How Do We Ensure Applying These Two Key Ingredients In Order to Succeed in Relationships?

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE, on Stitcher HERE, and on the Love and Respect App HERE.

Read the transcript HERE.

Episode 104 - What Are the Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships Part II - Rick Warren Invites Emerson To Speak

Do Wives Live by a Double Standard, and Is That Okay Because They Are Vulnerable Victims? Part 2

In part 1, we discussed the double standard that exists in society today that basically allows women to proclaim loudly their desire to be strong and independent in marriages while suppresses and defeats men trying to lead their families.

This same double standard also confuses our young boys when they see the same attitude in men and women reacted to in completely opposite ways. But it’s not enough to simply acknowledge that this double standard exists.

The question remains: Where do we go from here?

Do Wives Live by a Double Standard?

Do Wives Live by a Double Standard, and Is That Okay Because They Are Vulnerable Victims? Part 1

Some women live by a double standard which discourages and defeats some husbands and sons.

Do Wives Live by a Double Standard?

Strong and Independent!

For instance, we hear some women exclaim, “In my marriage, I am strong and independent.” But what if the husband were to declare, “In relationship to my wife, I am strong and independent!”? Many women would find that language repulsive.

Why can women use this but men cannot?

Because there is a double standard.

Started More Businesses

Recently, I saw a commercial on television that announced that women have started more businesses than men. But what if a commercial came on television (and there will be no such commercial) announcing that more men than women started businesses? Certain feminists would riot over such a broadcast.

A double standard.

What Are the Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships? Part 1 — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 103

Rick Warren invited Emerson to speak at Saddleback Church on the topic of relationships. Presented to more than 20,000 people, listen in as Emerson focuses on these three areas (this is Part I of II):

1. What Are the Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships?

2. What Happens When We Innocently Overlook These Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships?

3. How Do We Ensure Applying These Two Key Ingredients In Order to Succeed in Relationships?

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE, on Stitcher HERE, and on the Love and Respect App HERE.

Read the transcript HERE.

My Response is My Responsibility — Part 3

Oftentimes, when people hear me teach this idea that “My response is my responsibility,” they have a light bulb moment. This truth that “My response is my responsibility” has revolutionized their lives.

My Response is My Responsibility

Let’s consider what several have said:

This Quote Changed a Businesswoman’s Life

A businesswoman told her employer that her favorite quote was: “My response is my responsibility” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. She then said, “I learned this quote a few years ago and it is applicable in almost every area of my life. Even if I can’t control the words, actions, or situations around me, I can control how I respond to them. This quote has seriously changed my life! (Monday, November 9, 2015 | Roger CPA Review)