3 Reasons Some Counselors Are Bad At Marriage Counseling — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 072

This week Emerson and Jonathan discuss some of the difficulties in finding a good Christian marriage counselor. They discuss how some counselors have a difficult time working with couples because of an individualistic approach, how some counselors have a negative male bias, and how some counselors maintain moral neutrality, plus practical recommendations for dealing with these issues.  Whether for you or someone you know, this episode will be helpful for those in or considering marital counseling.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE and on Stitcher HERE.

Episode 072 - 3 Reasons Some Counselors Are Bad At Marriage Counseling

Should You Read a Letter Like This to Your Family This Thanksgiving?

Should You Read a Letter to Your Family This Thanksgiving About How God Used the Love and Respect Message in Your Marriage?

A wife shared with me the following letter that she read aloud to her family on Thanksgiving 2007:

“Every Thanksgiving we usually go around the table and say what we are thankful for before saying grace. This is usually a very easy task for me because God has blessed me so much, with three healthy children that I am able to stay home with, a beautiful home, my own health, good relationships with all of my family members, and the list could go on and on.

Do You Remain Thankful During The Tough Times? — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 071

Are you thankful in the good times? Are you thankful in the difficult times? The Bible states that it is God’s will that we be thankful, no matter the circumstances, although not necessarily for the circumstances. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this important topic during the Thanksgiving season.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE and on Stitcher HERE. Click HERE to read a transcript.

Do You Remain Thankful Through The Tough Times?

Why Are You Thankful for the Love and Respect Message Revealed in Ephesians 5:33?

Let us know why you are thankful for the Love and Respect message revealed in Ephesians 5:33.

To stimulate your heart, which testimony below best captures your thankfulness for the Love and Respect? If not these, what?

Why Are You Thankful for the Love and Respect Message Revealed in Ephesians 5-33

FOR GOD’S WORKING

A Husband: “I came to the conclusion that you have come to after suffering through multiple adulterous (emotional and physical) relationships she has had. . . . I have loved her unconditionally out of thanks and gratitude for what He [God] has done for me. I am NOT legalistic. I am thankful for everything He has done for me. He is directing my steps, which is why I am able to love her unconditionally. He is why I have forgiven her even though she has NOT asked for me to forgive her. I have put her indiscretion on God’s hook to address, as He is the one who will judge her on judgment day. I have been able to see that God allowed everything to occur so that I can depend on Him more completely.”

Why The Lies in Marriage?

Please read the pain expressed by the spouses below. I give six examples of the hurt the innocent party feels when discovering their husband or wife lies to them: three examples from wives and three from husbands.

Please select one or two of the examples to give brief answers to the two questions that I ask after each example. There is no right or wrong answer; I just want to hear your opinion.

Why The Lies in Marriage?

Why The Deception In Marriage? — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 070

In this episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss six examples of the hurt the innocent party feels when discovering their husband or wife lies to them: three examples from wives and three from husbands. Reasons for the lying occurring and what should have been done are discussed. Listeners are encouraged to come up with their own answers, apply to their own relationships and share with others.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE and on Stitcher HERE. Click HERE to read a transcript.

Episode 070 - Why The Deception In Marriage

Are Our Parents To Blame For Our Issues? Part 2

In part 1, we asked the question: Can we blame the problems in our lives or in our relationships on our parents? Many of us tend to think this at least occasionally at different times in our lives, and the Bible has a few things to tell us on the topic.

Are Our Parents To Blame For Our Issues? Part 2

1. Parents do betray us.

Jesus taught, “Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child” (Matt. 10:21).

The question arises: Because of this mistreatment by our parents, are we damaged goods forever, meaning we will never fully be happy or successful because of their failings toward us?

Are Our Parents To Blame For Our Issues? Part 1

Many of us look at the things in ourselves that we do not like and at the negative reactions from people we do not like, and we wonder, Do these problems exist in my life because of my parents? If they had been better parents, or had treated me better, then surely I’d be a better person with fewer personal and interpersonal problems, right?

Are Our Parents To Blame For Our Issues?

First, we see things in ourselves that make us unhappy. When we sit alone, we do not have a sense of gladness about who we are. We even have moments of shame. Poor self-image plagues us, and we tie this to our mom and dad. Because we feel our parents were disappointed with us and found us inadequate while we were growing up, we feel the same way about ourselves as well, even as adults.

Are Our Parents To Blame For Our Issues? — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 069

Many of us look at the things in ourselves that we do not like and at the negative reactions from people we do not like, and we wonder, “Do these problems exist in my life because of my parents? If they had been better parents, or had treated me better, then surely I’d be a better person with fewer personal and interpersonal problems, right?”

Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this important issue.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE and on Stitcher HERE.

Episode 069 - Are Our Parents To Blame For Our Issues

How To Effectively Discipline: Teaching Moments and Follow Through

The two boys, ages ten and thirteen, could not stand the wait. The next night they would attend the Detroit Pistons basketball game. Their dad had purchased five tickets on the second row at a fund-raising auction. He and his wife, along with his best friend, would accompany the two boys.

In the meantime, the father had requested the boys do several chores the last couple of days, which they had neglected so far. As the boys laid out their Pistons jerseys to wear the next night, the dad reminded them of the three tasks they needed to do. “Yes, Dad, we will do it,” both chimed in.

How To Effectively Discipline- Teaching Moments and Follow Through

On the day of the game, when the dad noticed that the boys had failed to do anything he required, he took them to school but remained silent. Angered at their disregard, and recognizing the pattern of them paying no heed to their duties in the home, he made a decision to use this situation as a teaching moment.

He would cancel going to the game.

Which Comes First, Love or Respect?

Every so often I hear someone make this kind of comment: “While I’m all for the love and respect message, God is a God of order and He commands in Ephesians 5:33 that husbands must love their wives first, and then wives are to respect their husbands. The responsibility lies with the husband to love first.”

Why would someone make this argument? Though there are multiple reasons, most often they fear a wife will be mistreated. They believe a woman who puts on respect toward an unloving and disobedient husband could end up abused.

Which Comes First,Love or Respect-

Is this notion a biblical idea? Peter teaches the opposite and the apostle Paul would laugh at this kind of “logic” based on the sequence of words in Ephesians 5:33.

1 Peter 3:1–2: The very point some folks make about not respecting an undeserving husband who has not earned a wife’s respect is the very instruction Peter imparts to wives! He pens, “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior” (1 Peter 3:1–2). Peter reveals to a wife that her respectful behavior wins a disobedient husband, not that it subjects her to abuse.

Such respectful behavior toward a husband does not come after a husband’s love and obedience but regardless of his love and obedience. This respect empowers a wife; it does not weaken and degrade her.