I Want to Tell My Spouse They’re Wrong, But How? Part 2

As we discussed in Part 1, the Bible says, “Speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another” (Ephesians 4:25).

So how should you approach your spouse with the truth about something you believe they need to hear?

Always see your mate as an ally.

Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy.

Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners.

Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends and neither of you means to hurt the other.

Whose problem is it, really?

I Want to Tell My Spouse They’re Wrong, But How? Part 1

The Bible says in Ephesians 4:25, “Speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.”

Obviously, Paul intended the married to apply this, as well. A few verses later he talks to husbands and wives. He expected couples to heed his counsel.

So what does it mean to speak the truth to a spouse?

Get the bee out of the glove.

It is foolish to suppress the truth if the truth needs to be shared.

How To Have Fewer Arguments With Your Spouse: Not Wrong, Just Different!

One of the most popular analogies we use at our Love and Respect Marriage Conferences describes the differences between men and women in terms of pink and blue.

Women look at the world through pink sunglasses, while men look at that same world through blue sunglasses.

For example, I have often heard the generalization that women go to movies to excite their emotions and men go to movies to escape their emotions. Even though women may have careers, because most are relationally oriented, they enjoy seeing so-called “chick flicks” that appeal to their love of romance or their heart for families.

Three Ways To Murder Your Marriage, Part 2 — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 041

In Part 2 of this 2-part series, Emerson and Jonathan continue their discussion about the motive, means, and opportunities people use to justify killing their marriage, while forgetting the ways by which to resurrect it. While acknowledging there are justified, biblical reasons for divorce, as well as terrible and difficult situations requiring local, direct, and wise counsel, Emerson and Jonathan take a look at what a couple can do to keep from murdering their marriage.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE and on Stitcher HERE. Listen to part 1 HERE.

Timestamps

02:02Last week’s Relationship Challenge reminder.

04:50 – Are these biblical parameters for marriage and divorce too heavy-handed for today’s modern culture?

09:40 – Trickery and betrayal turned to justification for murder.

What If My Spouse Doesn’t Respond To My Efforts?

In Ephesians 5:33, the husband is commanded to love his wife and the wife is commanded to respect her husband.

But what if your husband doesn’t show you love when you show him respect? And what if your wife doesn’t show you respect as you show her love?

If you get no results from practicing the principles of Love and Respect, why bother?

The Rewarded Cycle gives you the answers to these questions.

When you love or respect unconditionally, you are following God.

Your God-Given Power To Influence Your Marriage

The key to motivating another person is meeting that person’s deepest need.

Since Ephesians 5:33 reveals that a wife needs love and a husband needs respect, then the key to motivating a wife is to meet her need for love, and the fundamental way to energize a husband is meet his need for respect.

In my book, Love & Respect, I define in detail what love and respect look like and how to meet this need. But let me share with you the incredible power a person can experience when meeting another’s need.

Will this always happen? No, but it will occur often among good-willed couples, and far more than withholding love and respect!

Listen to these individuals who experienced a new power to influence their marriage.

Why Communication Is NOT the Key to Your Marriage

Someone who only speaks German cannot communicate with someone who only speaks Spanish. Each needs to learn the other’s vocabulary. Communication can only happen when there is mutual understanding.

Communication is not the key to marriage.  

Mutual understanding is the key to a successful marriage.

Based on Ephesians 5:33, wives speak the language of love and husbands speak the language of respect. When the husband speaks love to his wife and the wife speaks respect to her husband, they understand each other and communication follows.

Why love for her and respect for him?

Respect Won Her Husband Back: A Wife’s Testimony

A wife wrote to me saying,

“My husband has disconnected from our marriage. We were on the Crazy Cycle for years, and it got really bad this year. He had an emotional affair and is now convinced that we can never be happy together, can both eventually find happiness elsewhere, and he wants a divorce.

“I’ve been trying the CHAIRS principle for 3 months and have gotten very little response.

“He says not only is he no longer IN LOVE with me, but he doesn’t love me at all anymore. He says he is not interested in re-engaging in our relationship because he believes we will divorce eventually anyway. Any suggestions or pleading I make for another chance are met with anger.

“Is there any hope?

I don’t want a divorce. He has been a good-willed man, but has morphed into someone else in recent months.”

She continues,

Three Ways To Murder Your Marriage, Part One — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 040

In Part 1 of this 2-part podcast series, Emerson and Jonathan begin discussing why some people leave their marriage. With motive, means and opportunity, there are many ways to sabotage a marriage and get it to end, but what are the biblical reasons for separation and divorce? Listen in to find out.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE and on Stitcher HERE.

Timestamps

01:44—New and noteworthy announcements: we’re in the Top 100 in our category, rave reviews (not just from Emerson), and new digital products in the store!

06:12 – Emerson reviews last week’s episode, which is a sequel to this popular post.

09:13 – The inspiration for today’s podcast title and Death In Paradise.

13:50 – Who is the target audience for this podcast?

16:12 – How does someone get away with murdering their marriage?

The Spiritual Leadership of a Husband — Part 2

This post was only live until April 17th. It will be republished as a digital download to purchase in the Love and Respect store. 

Thank you for your feedback! We are currently working on updating the ebook, discussion guide, and corresponding video. 

In a few weeks this post will be published as an ebook to purchase at the Love and Respect store with additional videos and discussion questions to help you further explore the topic of the Spiritual Leadership of a Husband.

The Spiritual Leadership of a Husband — Part 1

This post was only live until April 17th. It will be republished as a digital download to purchase in the Love and Respect store. 

Thank you for your feedback! We are currently working on updating the ebook, discussion guide, and corresponding video. 

In a few weeks this post will be published as an ebook to purchase at the Love and Respect store with additional videos and discussion questions to help you further explore the topic of the Spiritual Leadership of a Husband.

Does God Intend to Use You as a Messenger of the Love and Respect Message?

Have you been infected with the disease of Love and Respect?

Has the message of Ephesians 5:33 so contaminated you that it oozes from your pores?

Are you so contagious that when you sneeze you infect others with the same Love and Respect disease?

As you share the good things happening to you, does this create an enthusiasm in others to hear more?

In the Love & Respect Workbook, we tell the reader that a leader’s guide is available to use with a small group and it’s quite amazing to think about how many people have emailed us to receive it over the years. Often when they make the request, they share their brief testimony with us.

In fact, Julie emailed us saying,

“I had a friend who attended one of your conferences and couldn’t stop talking about how it changed her marriage. I thought this would be a great thing to lead in our church growth groups. I kept feeling the calling to teach this and we currently are going to be leading this group in a few weeks. I ordered the DVDs, and my husband and I are watching them and doing the workbook. I’m so excited to see my own marriage change along with the other couples that will be in our group.”

One person sneezed and infected another, who sneezed and polluted another with the real disease of Love and Respect.

Tuesday Night Is Coming, Part 2: A Good Woman’s View of Sex — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 039

As a sequel to a very popular podcast, “Tuesday Night Is Coming,” Emerson and Jonathan discuss a powerful and insightful email from a woman who details the way many wives feel about sex in relationship to their husband. Both husbands and wives will appreciate this episode.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE and on Stitcher HERE.

Episode 039 (3) - Tuesday Night is Coming Part 2 - A Good Woman's View of Sex

Timestamps

01:22 – A quick review of last week’s podcast.

05:08 – Special announcements!

08: 22 – Letter from a listener: “For two years, I thought I was never allowed to say no.”

09:27 – She’s initiating, but his response is cold, so what is going on?

Are You Praying For God’s Purpose In Your Marriage?

Though you are not experiencing as much fulfillment in your marriage as you expect, can you experience fulfillment from doing God’s purpose in your marriage? Have you ever prayed about discovering God’s purpose for you in the marriage apart from your spouse?

PRAY: Father, forgive me for thinking in the midst of this marital pain and struggle that my life is lacking purpose.

I know You have a purpose for me in this marriage apart from my spouse! My spouse cannot prevent me from doing Your will. I ask You to reveal that purpose more clearly.

Are You Praying For God’s Power In Your Marriage?

When you feel helpless in your marriage, where do you turn? Is this moment of feeling weak an opportunity to encounter the power of God on your behalf? If so, how do you receive this inner power?

PRAY:

Lord, Your Word says that Your grace is sufficient for me and that Your power is made perfect in my weakness.

Right now, Lord, I am very weak. My marriage reveals things about me that I do not enjoy seeing, things that evidence my imperfection and vulnerabilities.