How Do You Seek to Understand Your Kids With Empathy? [Video]

Mary and Joseph proved to be great examples of parents who tried to understand their child, while still maintaining their parental authority.

Read Luke 2:41-51:

Now His parents went to Jerusalem every year at the Feast of the Passover.And when He became twelve, they went up there according to the custom of the Feast; and as they were returning, after spending the full number of days, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. But His parents were unaware of it, but supposed Him to be in the caravan, and went a day’s journey; and they began looking for Him among their relatives and acquaintances. When they did not find Him, they returned to Jerusalem looking for Him. Then, after three days they found Him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, both listening to them and asking them questions.And all who heard Him were amazed at His understanding and His answers. When they saw Him, they were astonished; and His mother said to Him, “Son, why have You treated us this way? Behold, Your father and I have been anxiously looking for You.”And He said to them, “Why is it that you were looking for Me? Did you not know that I had to be in My Father’s house?” But they did not understand the statement which He had made to them. And He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and He continued in subjection to them; and His mother treasured all these things in her heart.

What is Respect? 4 Ways to Know and Show Respect

In a note she wrote to us, Carol asked the following questions:

“Please answer- I’m so confused. What exactly are you identifying as ‘respect?’ Perhaps you could give a list, or point me in the direction of a source of clear cut examples of giving respect or what kind of things women are telling their husbands they respect them for? I’m through the first three chapters of the book with my husband and feel confused as to whether I’m really understanding it. Sometimes I think I do but then get confused again.”

Here is how I replied:

Where Does God Fit Into Your Parenting?

Can we please God by how we parent, even though our kids are displeased by our parenting?

As we parent according to what the Bible reveals to parents about parenting, we touch the heart of God. So, logically, the answer becomes a resounding, “YES,” God can be pleased by our actions toward our children.

But then why would our children not be pleased with our parenting?

Let me answer with a question: What child is happy about discipline? Hebrews 12:11 states, “All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful.” And earlier we read, “…those whom the Lord loves He disciplines” (Hebrews 12:6).

The Impact of Seeking A Child’s Forgiveness — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 032

Following a blog post written by Sarah Eggerichs on the topic of parenting, Emerson and Jonathan discuss forgiveness in the context of the parental relationship and what impact it has on children.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE and on Stitcher HERE.

Timestamps

01:15—Emerson goes back to last week’s episode and gives a brief overview.

05:13—The blog post that inspired the topic in today’s episode.

09:07—Why is it so hard to seek forgiveness, especially with our kids?

When A Husband Loves His Wife, Will She Respect Him? [Video]

The Energizing Cycle tells us what the Bible reveals: a husband’s love motivates a wife’s respect, and a wife’s respect motivates a husband’s love.

Is this cycle a valid point or mere conjecture?

Looking at only half of the equation, will a husband’s love energizes his wife’s honor?

The Bible reveals the answer: YES!

Proverbs 4:6-8 says, “Do not forsake her, and she will guard you; love her, and she will watch over you…Prize her, and she will exalt you; she will honor you if you embrace her.”

Will God Reward You Apart From Your Spouse and Children?

Jesus consistently spoke about our eternal reward.

In the last several verses of the last book of the Bible, He references eternity when he says, “Behold, I am coming quickly, and My reward is with Me, to render to every man according to what he has done” (Revelation 22:12).

Does this apply to marriage and parenting?

Yes!

In Ephesians 5 and 6, God addresses both marriage and parenting.

How Do You Say “No” To Your Child? [Video]

We’d love to hear from you as a parent.

How do you say “no” when your child asks for something she or he does not need?

Here are some of my thoughts:

1. Say “no” with firm but gentle resolve.

A Christian woman who worked as a secretary among psychologists and psychiatrists told me that she often heard these professionals say to parents, “If you’re going to give in to your children, give in within the first two minutes. If you keep saying ‘no’ for 20 minutes and then give in, they learn to argue with you for 20 minutes. If you keep saying ‘no’ for 30 minutes, but then give in, they learn to argue with you for 30 minutes.”

Six “Thank You” Statements to Say to Your Spouse — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 031

In the book, Love & Respect, “love” is spelled to a wife with the acronym C.O.U.P.L.E. and “respect” to a husband with the acronym C.H.A.I.R.S. This week Emerson and Jonathan ask listeners to consider how they might express thankfulness to their spouse in one of these six areas, asking wives to thank their husband for at least one of the ways he shows love and asking husbands to thank their wife for at least one of the ways she shows respect.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE and on Stitcher HERE.

01:08—Emerson briefly reflects on last week’s episode.

03:28—Short and sweet statements to say “thank you,” from The Energizing Cycle.

06:00—The spirit or attitude of thankfulness.

4 Reasons Valentine’s Day Was Special – or Not!

I hear two extreme responses from couples AFTER Valentine’s Day:

“We had the most romantic Valentine’s Day! We are still in the afterglow!”

“We got in a huge fight on Valentine’s Day! We are still mad at each other.”

There are four reasons why this feels like the best day or the worst day for most people.

Reason #1: A Wife’s Sentimental Desire for Love

Her Need for Sentimental Love, Part 3

In Part 2 of this series, we discussed how some men refuse to try to understand the sentimentality of women when it comes to love. Because he does not have the same need, he demands that she adjust to him, not vice versa.

But God has something to say to him about this:

1 Peter 3:7 commands the husband to “live with your [wife] in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman.”

When a husband refuses to practice this, Peter reveals that his wife feels vulnerable and weak. She feels misunderstood and dishonored. She feels dismissed and floundering in need.

Her Need For Sentimental Love, Part 2

As we said in Part 1 of this series, many men do not fully grasp the sentimentality of women when it comes to love.

So, why is this an issue?

Some husbands refuse to bring roses or write a love note. These husbands downplay the cry of a wife’s heart for more loving engagement. He views her sentimentality as too much for him. Since God hardwired him differently, he resists her requests and defends his lack of loving and affectionate expressions, leaving her in emotional pain.

Her Need For Sentimental Love, Part 1

As a husband, have you discovered the sentimentality of your wife and why love is so important to her, especially on those special days?

Because I attended an all-men’s military school from eighth grade to my senior year in high school, I gained an advantage over the other guys when I entered college.

By that, I mean, I tried to figure out what girls were feeling.

It seemed as though many of the guys had become too familiar with girls. They just assumed girls would be girls and stopped asking, “Why do they respond the way they do?” I had a keen interest in trying to figure out these beautiful creatures who wore perfume.

Reacting vs. Responding as a Parent

“I want that toy!”

“He hit me!”

“I don’t want to leave. I am having too much fun!” (Shortly after darting away from you.)

“Dad, I scratched the car.”

“I spilled the finger nail polish on the carpet.”

Do you respond or react to such episodes?

Far too often, Sarah and I used to find ourselves wired way too tight with our kids.

We would have a knee-jerk reaction instead of a response. Instead of “ready, aim, fire,” we would fire, aim and then think about getting ready!

How Do You Seek to Empathically Understand Your Kids? — Love and Respect Podcast Ep. 030

In this week’s episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss ways of seeking to empathically understand your child without compromising your calling as a parent. They will take a glimpse at the parenting style of Mary and Joseph and share six principles of understanding as described in the book Love & Respect in the Family.

Listen to the podcast HERE. Access it on iTunes HERE and on Stitcher HERE.

Timestamps

01:08—Brief review of last week’s episode on healthy vs. carnal self-love.

05:50—Letter from a listener: “I came back to my family…we aren’t out of the hole, yet, but the light is getting brighter.”

11:12—What we know, and what we don’t know, about Mary and Joseph.

14:24—Losing—or losing it with—your children.